


Misguided Youth

by Mangoyogurt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Rough Sex, Smut, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:04:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 45,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangoyogurt/pseuds/Mangoyogurt
Summary: Kylo Ren has somehow turned the pet project of his angsty youth into a successful band. Still, he can't shake the demons of his past as he coasts through life on auto-pilot.Unbeknownst to the guitarist and singer though, a series of misunderstandings are about to change the course of his life. Somehow, you seem to be right at the center of everything, and Kylo can't decide if it drives him insane or if its the best thing to ever happen to the man.





	1. The First Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> As I began writing this fic, I realized that the style/characterization of Kylo is totally different than how I normally write. Just a bit of warning, there is way more explicit language here than usual, and Kylo is much more vulgar and a bit of an asshole. But who knows, maybe he just needs the right person to change his life :)

Kylo Ren didn’t necessarily enjoy being an asshole. It just kind of happened that way. Somewhere along the line between puberty and getting his heart broken for the first time, the man evolved into an enigma of darkness and reticence. Somehow he had shucked off the nerdiness and slipped on armor in the form of bad decisions and anger management problems. Looking at this hulking form of a man, you’d never guess his obsession with space or that his hobbies included calligraphy. 

Although Hux, his best friend from childhood, sure as hell did his best to remind Kylo of the fact daily. 

The biggest joke of all was that Kylo had somehow turned his teenage angst and emo persona into a career. It was pretty straightforward - he just wanted attention. His father was a pilot, and his mother was a senator. Both of his parents were headstrong and stubborn - meaning that neither really had an interest in being a parent. His childhood was a blur of being passed from nanny to nanny. Once, his parents were so busy with their own lives, they actually shipped him off to the Pacific Northwest to live with his reclusive uncle.

So Kylo lashed out. It was a slippery slope that began with wearing dark clothes and piling on the metal hardware. He even gathered his friends Hux and Phasma and started a stupid band where he could croon about abandonment and loneliness. To be honest, they were just kids messing around. Even as he began to collect piercings and tattoos, his parents still didn’t do much. They weren’t exactly present enough to notice their only child spiraling out of control.

Somehow his teenage pet project took off though, and Kylo Ren found himself being signed to a record label alongside his friends. His music resonated with his generation, and next thing he knew Kylo Ren was a college drop out touring the country. 

Still, his parents couldn’t be bothered to come to a show. 

And so, he continued to act out. It was so fucked really. The more he smoked, drank, and pushed back - the more his fans loved him. Every bar fight, every tabloid photo of his tongue down some model’s throat, every time he flipped off the press - record sales would increase. Finally, he relented to his reputation. If the world wanted him to be an asshole, then he’d be the biggest one of them all. If he couldn’t soothe his aching soul with light and love, he’d find a balm in the form of quick fucks and alcohol.

Which was how he found himself prowling some random bar on a Wednesday night. It was the same routine: if he couldn’t find a good lay, then at least he could get blackout drunk and forget the night. Holding his second or third or fourth ( _who the fuck cared_ ) glass of bourbon, a sparkling beacon of _sweetness_ caught his eye. 

There you were. Pristine and calm, and so fucking _good_. Perched alone at the bar, your hands were neatly folded over your crossed legs. A stiff peter-pan collar poked out of your pale blue cable knit sweater. A pleated skirt donned your legs, and your feet were covered by a pair of penny loafers. Kylo almost choked on his drink. It was like watching a wet dream straight out of the fifties.

Kylo slowly licked his lips and imagined all of the different ways he could defile you. He’d definitely keep the skirt on while he fucked you into the mattress. He smirked at the clean ponytail - not a single hair out of place. _That_ was definitely staying as well. Better leverage to warp around his hand as he tugged on your hair. 

Girls like you were his favorite. _Easy pickings_ as he so eloquently liked to say. There was a reason why the bad boy/good girl trope existed. Women were so eager to fix him. To save him from himself. To make him change for the better - as if he were a fucking conquest. Kylo learned early on that girlfriends would just leave when they realized that he wasn’t some home improvement project they could work on in their leisure time. He was an actual person with actual problems. 

They’d usually selfishly move on, leaving behind more damage than there was before their arrival. So Kylo decided to forgo the chore of being in relationships. Instead, he’d allow the illusion that he could be your bad boy for a few hours. Long enough to get his dick wet before he left in the middle of the night. 

He thought of it as win-win anyways. He got his rocks off. You got to fulfill some sort of fantasy - _really_ sticking it to your parents for forcing you to take SAT classes every weekend. Nothing said “fuck you” like fucking the boy they’d never approve of. 

Downing the bronze liquid in his glass, he harshly set the cup down before cracking his neck a few times. You were still silently sitting alone - not even glancing at a phone. Kylo imagined that you weren’t accustomed to being out on a weeknight. You were probably nervous. The shy type who needed a man like him to shake things up a bit. 

He ambled over to your side and slid a forearm across the bar to box you in. His form towered over your smaller one as he smirked down at your placid features returning his gaze with a surprised look.

Jesus, you weren’t even wearing makeup. What an angel. 

His deep voice drawled, “Hello, princess. I’m Kylo, and I’m going to buy you a gin and tonic.” 

Your owlish eyes blinked back a few times in silence. Kylo licked his lips again. He definitely had you now. Your features were so compliant. So soft. So _easy_. He could already imagine how he’d probably be the first guy you’d ever allow to go down on you. How he would...

His indecent thoughts were suddenly interrupted as you doubled over in laughter. Hinged at the waist, you had thrown both hands on your knees and bent over to guffaw into the space between your thighs. 

What the fuck? 

You sat back up and wiped a tear from the corner of your eye. “Oh my God. _Oh my God_. Seriously? You’re going to buy me a gin and tonic? Just like that? And then what? And who drinks gin and tonics anymore? What, are you like _eighty_?” 

Kylo felt his face redden in agitation as you continued to laugh at his expense. His fists clenched and he felt his spine stiffen in embarrassment. Suddenly, another woman appeared by your side. You clutched her arm and continued to shriek, “Oh my God, Jyn. This asshole over here thinks he’s some sort of _dark knight_ trying to whisk away an innocent dove.”

Your brown haired accomplice gave Kylo a withering glare before grabbing onto your arm to tug you away towards a booth pressed against the back wall. Even as you were dragged away, you turned over your shoulder to cry out, “Oh mister knight! Please show me the dark side, won’t you? Show me how to be a _bad girl_.” You continued to howl in amusement while Jyn wrangled you into a seat.

Kylo stood rooted in shock. Nobody had ever talked to him like that. All six foot two of him screamed “danger”. Yet here you were, dressed like you worked at a fucking soda fountain while hurling insults at the rock star. Kylo felt offended - it didn’t even seem like you recognized him. 

_This_ was his supposed angel?

Meanwhile, Jyn shoved a bottle of water in front of your face. “Seriously? I leave you alone for fifteen minutes, and somehow you managed to still get blitzed.”

You pushed the water away in indignation. “Who said I was blitzed? Was it Finn? That fucking snitch!” 

Jyn rolled her eyes and pushed the water back towards your hands. She unscrewed the cap and sighed, “Dude, Finn isn’t even here. Honestly, you hold your composure pretty well when you’re just sitting around. It’s when you open your mouth that I can tell you’re drunk.” 

“How?” 

The brunette laughed and pulled you in for a hug. “I say this with so much love, but you turn into a total bitch when you’re tipsy.” You huffed into her hair and relented with a swig from the water bottle. 

“Oh, here. Thanks for letting me borrow your phone.” Jyn squeezed your shoulder before placing the device on the table. You waved off her gratitude, and the woman continued, “Why _are_ you dressed like a cast member in Grease, anyways?” 

You moaned and threw your face into your palms. You were in the last year of getting your MBA. One day you would be a fearless female CEO of some publicly traded company. You’d slink out of your penthouse, get chauffeured around to your job, and change lives dammit. 

But that was someday, and right now you were a broke grad student trying to make ends meet before resorting to hawking your organs on Canal Street. Jyn gave you a look of pity as you bemoaned your existence. “I look like Sandy Olsson because I actually do work at a soda fountain now.” Jyn burst into a fit of giggles as you pulled at your face in exasperation. 

“It’s one of those stupid hipster joints in Brooklyn where they’re still trying to profit off of nostalgia. So yeah. That’s my part time job.” You moved to kick your friend off her seat as she started to tear up at the image. Just before you could successfully push the woman off, a man cleared his throat. 

Kylo was looming over the table, still angry from your confrontation. Somehow watching you laugh it up with your friend only pissed him off even more. He glared down at you and seethed, “What’s your fucking problem?” 

Before Jyn could grab the back of your sweater, you leapt up from your seat and squared right up. “You want to know what my fucking problem is? My _‘fucking problem’_ is entitled douchebags such as yourself thinking that you can just prowl up to any woman and we’ll drop our panties for you. You’re not good looking enough to act like an asshole.” 

Kylo reeled back, completely disarmed and offended. “Well I’m _so sorry_ for misreading your desperate fake good girl look.” 

His chest was heaving now, barely grazing your own as it rose and fell with each labored breath. You knew you were about to become annoying, but it was too late to stop. You begin to press a finger into his chest over and over again, punctuating your words with each push.

“Let me tell you something about looks, mister. At least I’m not the old geezer dressed like he’s still holding onto the wonder years of his misguided youth.”

“ _Misguided youth_? Do you know who the fuck I am?”

Kylo was positively seething at this point. Who gave you the right to talk to him like that? Some stupid nobody dressed like a fucking cartoon trying to school him on his wardrobe. Jyn desperately tried to calm you down, but her words were drowned out as you raised the volume of your voice.

“No, I don’t dickwad. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want to. I don’t want people thinking that I associate with grandpas who still wear eyeliner!” 

“ _Grandpa?_ I’m fucking twenty-seven!” Kylo practically roared as he flung his phone into the wall. You looked at him in shock as the device ricocheted off the wall and slid back towards him across the table. Kylo Ren had participated in his fair share of bar fights, but very few people could actually get underneath his skin. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting his opponent to be sporting a bowtie in her hair.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” A posh British accent suddenly interrupted the feud. A red-haired man appeared next to Kylo, and pushed him away from your shaking fist. He quickly snatched up Kylo’s phone, and apologized on behalf of his friend. Jyn took the cue and quickly moved you behind her as well. The moment was over, and you heard Kylo call the man “General” before the two disappeared through a crowd that had formed. 

Still shaking, you sank down into the booth and closed you eyes. You really needed to get your shit together.


	2. The Second Misunderstanding

It was time to atone for the sins of your past. Rolling over onto your side, you heaved into a waiting trash can. You felt like shit - both physically and emotionally. You hated being _that_ friend, and Jyn already had enough issues in her life without you being one of them. Making yet another mental promise to get your act together, you reached over to your side table to text her an apology. 

Somehow Jyn had been able to deposit your body into bed, and the saint had not only left some aspirin next to a bottle of water, but had also made sure to charge your iPhone. Checking your messages, you almost dropped the device in shock. 

_General Hux | 9:39 PM | Where the fuck are you asshole?_

_Big Titz | 11:42 PM | Kyloooo. Come fuck me._

_Phasma | 11: 45 PM | Hux said you got your ass handed to you by a girl._

_Phasma | 11:46 PM | It is now my life’s mission to meet her._

_Big Titz | 11:58 PM | I’ll let you cum in my mouth._

You dropped the phone in disgust. Of course the man from last night would be type to just input “Big Titz” instead of an actual name. What a douche. You’d rather just chuck the damn thing out the window, but unfortunately you’d need it as collateral to get your own phone back. You seriously needed to stop drinking so much. After all, it wasn’t like you had the stamina from undergrad anymore. 

Sitting up with your chin perched atop your knees, you tried to shake the demons out of your mind. You were so lost - scared to admit that you only signed up for grad school because you weren’t sure _what_ to do with your life. All you knew was that in the blink of an eye, it seemed like all of your high school buddies were getting married left and right. Doing adult things like joining book clubs, having kids, and arguing over paint chips at Home Depot. 

You took one look at the scene and promptly thought “fuck _that_ ”. 

You parents had been lackluster at best. On bad days, they found amusement in belittling your passions and thoughts. On good days, you were simply ignored. The moment 18 years rolled by, you were swiftly out the door with a one way ticket to New York City. You swore that nobody could ever convince you to have kids. Just in case you were a shit mom and perpetuated the cycle of neglect and pain.

Why did you even bother thinking about your parents? Now you were going to be in a crap mood for the rest of the day. As if on cue, the cosmos decided to add fuel to the fire when you phone number lit up on the glass screen. 

Sighing, you picked up with a lazy, “Hello?” 

“Is this the bitch who stole my phone last night?” 

You immediately swept your feet to the side of your bed to stand up. So the leather jacket clad creep wants to start a fight? You were more than happy to oblige. 

“Depends. Is this the old man from last night? The guy who has to prey on younger girls because women his age can see through his bullshit?” 

The sound of something smashing echoed in the background, and you couldn’t help but smirk. He huffed, “Just give me my goddamn phone back!” 

You snapped, “You’re the one who took _my_ phone. Nobody wants your filthy manslut machine.” 

“Whatever. Let’s just meet and get this over with. Can you come down to Brooklyn and meet me at the Starbucks on Bedford and 7th?”

Rolling your eyes, you muttered, “You’re lucky I live in Brooklyn, too. What if I lived on the Upper West Side or something? Also, of all the coffee places in fucking Williamsburg, you want to meet at _Starbucks_?”

Glass shattered in the background as Kylo seethed, “I’m not drinking the fucking coffee with you. We’re just meeting somewhere public.” 

“Jesus. Calm down, I’m just joking.”

This guy could seriously go from zero to one hundred in a flash. You shuddered thinking about someone _that_ huge running around throwing tantrums. You set a time with Kylo for later in the afternoon, eager to get off the phone. You couldn’t resist one last taunt though. Just before hanging up, you teased, “By the way, your friend ‘Big Titz’ sure has a way with words. I can’t wait until she finally gets the Pulitzer she deserves.”

The last thing Kylo heard was your cackle and then the line went dead. He had had remind himself that he was holding someone else’s phone, and he couldn’t slam it down the fire escape. Even if he _really_ wanted to. He stared out the window, still seething with irritation. 

Who the hell was this chick? Stomping around just saying whatever the hell she wanted. Kylo huffed and crossed his arms. He hated that despite his general disdain for you, a small part of him was intrigued. It had been ages since anyone worked him up like that. Made him feel _anything_ at all. Somehow, he was already developing an appetite for your snark and attitude. 

Maybe he was looking forward to meeting you at Starbucks after all.

He couldn’t wait to push your buttons some more. Maybe, he couldn’t wait to feel you push back.

* * *

Kylo felt his chest tighten, and he hated it. The man had half the mind to just turn around and walk home. Phones were overrated anyways. He watched you standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change before crossing over to his side. You looked like you _really_ didn’t care about meeting up with Kylo, and somehow that managed to bother and fascinate him at the same time. 

Your hair was pulled up in a messy top knot - baby hairs sticking up and loose strands framing your cheeks. A thick knit cardigan was slung over your shoulders, but he could see some sort of graphic tee through the opening. Black ripped skinny jeans topped off the look, and heather wool socks peeked over a pair of Dr. Martens that had certainly seen better days. 

God, someone this annoying shouldn’t look so cute. 

“Hey, you’re actually here on time!” You chirped. Without the influence of alcohol, you were actually in a rather good mood. Kylo’s brow twitched at the assumption that he _wouldn’t_ have been on time. Noticing his balled up fists, you quirked an eyebrow and flatly replied, “Relax, Goliath. I didn’t mean it that way.”

Kylo felt surprise at the fact that you could read him so clearly. Before he could respond, you fished out a black iPhone and waved the device around in his face. 

“This yours?” You joked. Kylo huffed and moved to seize it from your fingers. Quickly whipping your hand out of the way you continued, “Nuh-uh. Not until I see mine.” He rolled his eyes and pulled out a similar, yet distinctly more battered, phone. Your lips split open into a wide smile as you swapped devices. Turning it on, you checked your messages and made sure that everything was in order. 

“As if I’d snoop through your messages. You’re not nearly as interesting as you think,” Kylo dryly spat.

You looked up from the phone and grinned. “You’re right. I don’t have the pleasure of being friends with ‘Big Titz’.” 

“Jesus, again with the name! I don’t even remember her! I don’t think we’ve even hooked up.” 

Giving Kylo a look of faux innocence, you replied, “You don’t have to convince me, Kylo. It’s not as if I’m judging you or anything.” 

He threw his hands up in frustration and began a sharp retort when a tall blonde woman suddenly appeared and threw an arm around Kylo. Her British accent seemed to dance alongside her jovial expression as she teased, “I hope you’re not punching walls again, Kylo. People Magazine would go nuts.”

Kylo grimaced as a third individual materialized next to him. You recognized him as the “General” from last night. Although he was dressed down in dark-washed jeans and a cable knit sweater, he still held an imposing air around him. Judging by his sharp gaze and rigid demeanor, you could see where he got his nickname from.

The man sized you up, and then a wicked grin spread across his face. Turning to Kylo, he softly spoke, “I didn’t realize that you were bringing a friend with you to brunch.” You quickly raised both hands up and replied, “Oh, no. I didn’t...” 

The man quickly cut you off and interjected, “No need to be polite! It’s my treat anyways. A friend of Kylo’s is a friend of ours. I’m Armitage. You can call me Hux, and this is Phasma.” 

You looked between the trio - Kylo’s ears were reddened, and you couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. Phasma looked like she was eating the whole scene up as her mischievous smile matched that of Hux’s. You really weren’t in a position to turn down free food, and agitating Kylo seemed to be an added bonus. 

An equally evil grin spread across your face as you chirped, “Sure! Thanks for the invite.” 

Kylo groaned, “Fucking hell.” Everyone ignored him though, and Phasma slipped an arm around your shoulder. Leaning against your ear, she whispered, “So. I’ve been meaning to hear all about how you almost punched Kylo last night...”

* * *

“So how long?” 

Phasma looked up from pouring syrup on her waffles and quirked an eyebrow. “How long since what?”

“How long has your friend Kylo been suffering from being a total dick?”

Hux choked on his bacon as Phasma burst out into laughter. The blonde reached over and snatched you phone up before inputting her number into the device. “Here’s my number. We’re _totally_ hanging out later, okay?”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Don’t encourage her. She’ll just develop bad habits.” 

You stuck a tongue out at the man and retorted, “Too late for that.” He groaned and speared a sausage with his fork. Watching you joke around with Hux and Phamsa, gave Kylo an odd sense of satisfaction as he watched the natural joy that spread across your face. His friends weren’t exactly easy people to get along with, and he was surprised by how effortlessly you seemed to assimilate into the group. 

Phasma was mid-laugh when she noticed the way Kylo was eyeing you. You were giggling over some nonsensical thing Hux was talking about, and didn’t notice how soft Kylo’s gaze was as he took in the way your shoulders would shake every time you exhaled a puff of air. An idea suddenly popped into the woman’s head, when she asked, “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?” 

Kylo and Hux both swiveled their heads to look at the blonde woman. You shrugged your shoulders and replied, “Nothing, really. Why?” 

“Phas,” Kylo flatly interrupted. She turned to Kylo and gave him a defensive stare. Hux responded by nudging Kylo in the shoulder, and you quietly watched as the three seemed to engage in a silent conversation. You guessed that Kylo was the one to relent, because the man slumped backwards into the booth and threw his hands up with a sigh. 

The tall blonde asked, “Want to see a show with us tomorrow?”

You pushed a potato wedge into your mouth and nonchalantly shrugged. “Depends on who is playing.” 

Hux coughed and you swore that Phasma’s eyes glittered. “Have you heard of K.O.REN?” 

Kylo stared at your relaxed demeanor in agitation as you worked on shoveling down more potatoes. He felt completely offended that you were unaware of the fact that you were eating brunch with one of the largest rock bands in the world. They played international stadiums for fuck’s sake, and here you were packing home fries into your mouth like it was your last meal. You shrugged your shoulders again and replied, “Who’s that?” 

“ _Who?!_ As in you think K.O.REN is one person?” Kylo incredulously spat. 

“I don’t know! Karen is a pretty common name!” You defensively retorted. 

“Karen? _Karen?!_ ” 

Hux moved to push Kylo back into the seat while Phasma kneeled over in laughter. Wiping a tear from her eye she gasped, “No. Knights of Ren. Shortened to ‘K.O.REN’. They’re a band.” 

Your wide eyes blinked a few times before yet another shrug graced your shoulders. Kylo swore that he was going to lose it. Don’t you use the internet? Social media? Anything? Which rock in Central Park did you drag yourself out of? Noticing that Kylo was about to lose it for real, she quickly continued, “Look. One of my good friends is covering the show and we can get you backstage passes. Do me a favor though, and don’t look up the band prior to going. He’s wants to get some opinions from people who have never heard the band before. Something about a ‘fresh perspective’ or whatever.”

Hux watched in amusement as your fork reached over the table and began to pick at his bacon. The fact that you were now helping the bassist clear off his plate didn’t go unnoticed by Kylo either. Swallowing once again, you replied, “Can I bring a friend?” 

“Sure. But you can’t tell her...or _him_...who the band is. Deal?” 

“Deal.”

Phasma gave Kylo a wicked look as she stressed the word “him”. Kylo rolled his eyes and feigned nonchalance. You could bring whoever you wanted to the show. It was none of his business. If you wanted to get drunk and make out with some douche...

He hadn’t even realized that he was balling up his napkin in an angry fist. Her suspicion now confirmed, Phasma quietly began to plot in her head. This was going to be the most fun the woman had since the trio were just teens playing shitty covers in her parents’ garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	3. And The Third

Bouncing on your heels, you roughly rubbed your hands up and down your biceps in an attempt to stave off the cold. The brisk autumnal air was nipping at your exposed neck, and you mentally cursed Phasma’s friend for being late. Knowing what a shitstorm coatcheck usually was after concerts, you decided to forgo wearing a coat, and instead braved the chill in a lightweight military jacket you could tie around your waist. Unsure of what kind of music was being played, you erred on the side of caution with your typical Dr. Martens, ripped skinny jeans, and a thin ribbed henley top in your favorite color. 

It would do. It wasn’t like you were here to impress anyone. 

Certainly not _Kylo_.

You groaned thinking about the dark haired man, and immediately hated yourself for it. The guy was a total jackass, and didn’t deserve a single second of your precious time. Not even if he was built like roman statue. The size of his hands didn’t go unnoticed by you either. You definitely didn’t imagine said hands wrapped around your throat while he...

“Hey! You’re Phasma’s guest, right?” 

You snapped to attention as a short dark-haired man appeared in front of you. He took in your nod, and immediately reached for a handshake while introducing himself as Mitaka. You followed him towards a metal door marked “Restricted Access” while tugging on a lanyard with a flimsy laminated card that read “VIP”. 

He chatted about his job as a freelance writer pitching stories to various magazines and newspapers. Mitaka was ecstatic when Phasma found you. He was hoping to write an article where he would “expose” individuals to musical artists they had never heard, and record the reactions. 

Turning to you, he exclaimed, “I didn’t think that I’d ever fine someone who didn’t know K.O.REN! When Phasma told me about you, I felt like I hit a gold mine. Thanks again for coming out!” 

“Uh, no problem. This band...they’re really big, huh? Then why are they playing at such a small venue tonight?” 

The current building seemed rather small. At least too small for a supposed "big name" band to be messing around in. Didn’t world famous musicians sell out stadiums or something? 

“They just got back from Rock am Ring in Germany. It’s a huge three-day metal festival with over 150,000 people. Whenever they finish tours with large audiences, they make sure to book smaller and more intimate venues afterwards. The lead singer says it keeps them grounded.” 

It seemed like a respectable thing to do. In fact, it was almost kind of sweet. Suddenly, a word from Mitaka’s sentence jumped out at you.

“Wait...did you just say metal festival?” 

“Yeah, they’re a metal-ish band. More hard rock I’d say, but they’re still really popular.” 

You thought back to Phasma’s cropped hair bleached white, and the multitude of studs peppered along the collar of her denim jacket. Yeah, she definitely looked “metal-ish”. But Hux and Kylo were dressed far more “normal” in just jeans and simple tops. Maybe they didn’t listen to the same music? But people don’t need to dress a certain way to enjoy different types of music...

Mitaka suddenly cleared his throat, and you were jerked back to the present. He gestured towards a section partitioned off by ropes. The spot was perfect - just out of sight from the audience but with a perfect view of the stage. It seemed as if the concert was close to starting, since everything was set up and the room was filled to the brim with chattering people. 

Clear across the stage, you noticed the silhouettes of three people. Even from this distance they all looked ridiculously tall. Squinting your eyes, you tried to make out the individuals, but the bright stage lights were blinding. The only thing you could do was huff and patiently wait for the show to start. 

In the meantime, Mitaka rattled off a few key facts regarding the band. He was about to begin a history on their first Grammy nomination, when the house lights suddenly went down. It was clear that the band was much loved, because the crowd immediately went wild. The way bodies shoved towards the front as people began to chant “Knights of Ren” over and over again almost seemed violent. 

The first individual stepped out, and you stifled a cry of shock. Phasma was decked out in leopard print leggings, combat boots, and a ripped black shirt. Her denim vest rippled as she lifted up an arm holding onto two drumsticks. The woman struck a pose before settling in behind a drum kit situated on top of a raised platform. 

The next individual was no less surprising. Hux strolled out onto the stage, and you were taken aback by how relaxed the man seemed. It almost looked as if he were bored by the entire idea of playing any show, and lazily paused to wave before picking up a bass. Even his wardrobe mimicked his attitude, as he only donned a pair of slim fit black jeans and a thin grey sweater. Mitaka leaned over and whispered that it was a running joke that Hux enjoyed looking as un-metal as possible. In fact, security often mistook him for a pedestrian, and there had been many attempts to escort the man away from backstage.

But the last individual to come out made the greatest impact of all - both with yourself and the crowd. Kylo strutted onto the stage in all of his glory. Full hair swept backwards with tight jeans hugging every curve of his muscular thighs. You didn’t think that you were an ass girl, but shit - Kylo was making you change your mind. Shaking your head, you willed yourself to not find the bastard attractive.

The fact that he was already fucking shirtless was making the job difficult though.

Taut muscle rippled along his forearm and back as he reached out to sling a guitar over his shoulder. Your eyes followed the instrument as it rested over his front, right where two sharp line’s ended at a “v” by his hips. 

As if he couldn’t have been hotter, the man opened his mouth and began to sing. You swore that the Beatles had nothing on this man in terms of swooning fans. Men and women alike were clamoring towards the stage as Kylo switched between melodic singing and hard shouts. 

Although the music was foreign, something (or rather someone) was compelling you to want more. Just as you were taken into the swell of the chorus, Kylo’s head turned and his eyes felt like a lazer as he stared you down. His gaze remained sharp, and you felt all of the air sucked out of your lungs. For a moment, you thought that you saw something different in his eyes. Perhaps the music made him a softer and more vulnerable man. 

But then his face twisted into a smirk as he gave you a cheeky wink before directing your attention with a jerk of his head towards a crying female fan attempting to take her shirt off.

Just like that, your softened feelings for the man dissipated in a single second. 

The asshole was peacocking right in front of you - shoving his fame into your face. He is the worst. He is literally the worst. You decided right in that moment that there was nobody in the whole of New York City that you hated more than Kylo Ren. Rage surged in your chest as an ugly thought bloomed - you were brought here to be made into a joke.

The rest of the night flew by in a blur as your emotions flittered between embarrassment and fury. Was the whole plan to make a mockery of you? Pay to take the poor student out for brunch and then laugh at her ignorance behind her back? 

You cringed thinking back on how you practically ate half of Hux’s entree even after shoveling several pounds of potatoes into your mouth right in front of a trio of mega-stars. 

When the concert came to an end, Kylo’s voice sounded like a faraway echo as his fans screamed over his farewell bid. Stumbling backwards, you wanted nothing more than to escape the impending awkward and upsetting confrontation with the band. You felt your back suddenly collide with a wall and spun around in surprise. 

Your eyes widened into open disks as you not only saw, but felt, the sweaty naked torso of Kylo Ren. His lips were pulled up in a lopsided grin as he took in your shocked expression. Your gaze trailed upwards as you took in the way sweat pooled at the tips of his hair and fell to rest in the divot of his clavicle. 

“So the firecracker is finally rendered speechless. How’d you like the concert, princess?”

“You...” 

Kylo gave you an expectant wink, and you felt fire surge in your chest. Whether it was from anger or lust though, that was up for debate. Finding courage from within, you spat, “You’re an asshole, Kylo Ren.” 

With one final glare, you shoved against his chest to brush past the man. He looked towards your back in surprise and shouted, “What the hell is your problem? A ‘thank you’ would be appreciated.” 

Whipping around to face the singer you hissed, “Thank you? _Thank you?_ For what? Why did you guys even bring me here? To embarrass me? To laugh at the poor girl who didn’t recognize the ‘biggest rock band in the world’? To shove my face in your success and wealth?” 

It was now Kylo’s turn to look surprised. That was certainly not his intention at all. When he got back to his penthouse and had some time to think, the entire situation seemed humorous and rather innocent. And although one could argue that he was an asshole most of the time, he would never consider himself mean spirited. Sure, maybe he did want to show off a little bit, but he definitely wouldn’t go out of his way just to embarrass you. 

Always one with words though, he huffed, “Please. Don’t think so highly of yourself.”

Your face blanched at his response, and you angrily ripped the lanyard from your neck and threw it at his face while shouting, “Go to hell, Kylo. Go find someone else to fuck with.” Gesturing towards the man with two middle fingers, you backed away and stormed out through the exit. 

Phasma arrived just as the door slammed shut. With hands on her hips, she turned to Kylo and laughed, “Man, I’ve never see you flop so badly with a girl before.” 

Kylo looked offended as he scoffed, “Flop? That would imply I would want anything to do with... _that_.” He jabbed his finger towards the empty space you once occupied.

The drummer gave her friend a look and slowly shook her head. Giving him a pat on the back she replied, “For the longest time I assumed that you had the emotional range of a caterpillar, but she’s proven me wrong. You’re just telling yourself that you hate this chick because you’re worried that you might actually be interested in actually getting to know the girl.”

The man rolled his eyes and replied, “I would hardly consider a minimum wage waitress with a foul mouth interesting.” 

Phasma gave him an all-knowing look and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, then you definitely won’t care that I invited her to the afterparty at your place.” 

She gave him a wink, and then strolled back on stage to pack up some equipment. Left alone, Kylo slowly considered his friend’s words right before he turned to punch a hole into the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm...what does Phasma have planned up her sleeve?
> 
> And thank you for the kind comments and kudos! I was actually a bit nervous posting this fic, but I'm glad that people are enjoying it :)


	4. One More For the Road

Spilling out onto the pavement, you leaned over with two hands on either knee. Pulling in thick drags of cold air into your lungs, you willed yourself to calm down before someone found you crying in an alley for no apparent reason. Just as your resolve began to crumble, familiar hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you up. You found yourself pressed against Jyn’s chest as she tugged you into a tight hug. 

“Oh my God, what happened, babe? I’m so sorry I missed the concert! My manager asked me to stay longer, but I came as soon as possible!” 

Pulling back, she held your head between two gentle palms as she looked into your eyes searching for some sort of answer. You began to choke out, “The...the asshole from the bar was Kylo Ren of Knights of Ren! He...he...I’m just a big fucking joke to him! He totally brought me here just to make fun of the fact that I didn’t recognize him.” Jyn’s eyes turned to steel as she turned to stare at the door.

“That motherfucker. Wait here!” She screeched as the angry woman made a beeline for the employee entrance. You lurched forward to grab her wrist and cried out, “No! I just want to go home and forget that this ever happened! I’m so fucking over Kylo and his shitty attitude.” 

Jyn’s eyes flitted between yourself and the door before a mischievous grin spread over her face. She tightly gripped you by the shoulder and replied, “Nope. Hell no. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve been many things, but never a quitter. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed you back down from anything or anyone.”

Tugging you down the alley towards the street she continued, “Not only are we going to that afterparty, but we’re going make Kylo Ren regret ever pissing you off.”

* * *

You were heading up in an elevator and nervously staring at your reflection in the mirror within the metal box. Noticing you tugging at the hem of your skirt, Jyn reached over to slap your hand away from the garment. “Get your shit together, girl. Remember - if looks could kill.” Nodding along to your best friend, you stood a little straighter as confidence surged inside your chest. 

Jyn had immediately dragged you to the nearby apartment of a mutual friend and her sister. After explaining your situation to the Tico sisters, the trio immediately set to working on your outfit. Jyn was hellbent on turning you into a vision, and decided that the best way to irritate Kylo Ren was to dangle a snack in front of him that he’d never have the pleasure of tasting. 

While smudging dark kohl eyeliner underneath your eyes she had scoffed, “The best way to piss off a man who doesn’t understand the word ‘no’, is to tell him that that precise word”. While your eyes were darkened in a black smokey eye, your lips were painted in a crimson red. Rose set to pulling your hair into a slick high pony-tail as Paige dug around the back of her closet. 

The tall Asian woman emerged behind a pile of clothes and laughed, “Man, I haven’t seen these garments since my clubbing days in college! Good thing I’m a hoarder.” She continued to giggle as she tossed a short black shift dress onto her bed. A pair of fishnet stockings landed next to the dress. 

Eyeing the tights you exclaimed, “Uhh, there better be pants with this outfit, because I swear to God, Paige.” 

Rose doubled over in laughter while Paige rolled her eyes. She jabbed an accusatory finger in your direction and huffed, “Don’t even try and act like a saint. I’ve seen you strut around Meatpacking in nothing more than a -“

It was Jyn’s turn to howl as she watched your cheeks redden at the memory. Paige gave you a flat stare and held up the dress. “Look, the hemline is still respectable. We’re definitely going for an ‘oh I could care less’ vibe, but you still want to look sexy. Remember the endgame - make Kylo drool but don’t look desperate. Besides, since when did you care so much about saving your piety?” She mocking pressed her palms together in a faux prayer between sweeping off to find you a pair of heeled boots. 

The women worked quickly so that within the hour you were standing in Kylo’s private elevator shooting up to his penthouse. You were dropped off in a foyer, and Jyn’s grip tightened around your hand as she pushed you forward towards an open door. 

His home was enormous and surprisingly tasteful. It just made you hate the man even more. Floor to ceiling windows adorned the entire place, showing off a glittering view of the New York City skyline. The place was filled to the brim with tons of people, and you swore you saw some celebrities sprinkled amongst the mix. Jyn only confirmed your suspicions as she squealed, “Oh my God, I think that’s Paul Rudd talking to Poe Dameron!”

Poe Dameron was a the former member of a popular boy band, who skyrocketed to fame after going solo. Jyn leaned over to whisper, “I heard that he got into a public feud with Kylo! Apparently America’s favorite bad boy called Dameron the creator of ‘pansy music’.” You rolled your eyes - that definitely sounded like the Kylo you’ve had the displeasure of getting to know. 

Lifting your chin up a little higher, you strutted into the room. It was too late to back out now, and you were set on seeing your mission through. You would show Kylo Ren that he had no power over you, and that he could laugh at your expense all he wanted as long as you were drinking up his expensive liquor. You instinctively found yourself by the wet bar with Jyn as she grabbed a bottle Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

“A little heavy handed there wouldn’t you say, Jyn?” You quirked an eyebrow at your friend as she all but emptied a quarter of the bottle into two waiting glasses. Rolling her eyes at your response, she leaned over the counter to grab a bottle of Patrón. Splashing the liquid into two shot glasses, she teased, “These small enough for ya?”

Nudging the woman with your hip, you swiped the glass and downed the clear liquid in a single go. Jyn cheered and tossed back her own glass. Slamming it down, she reached over to the whiskey and shoved the full glass into your hand. She shot you a mischievous look and laughed, “You still gotta finish your glass. Can’t waste anything in this current economy, right?” 

Looking over the rim of your glass, you slowly scanned the room as you ignored your friend’s antics. When you had first moved to New York, the two of you became fast friends during freshman year of college. Most of that year was a haze of partying and what your mother would have deemed “wild behavior”. 

Jyn had dubbed herself the “Robin Hood of Dating”. Stuffy rich prep boys were always drawn to her for some reason. If they acted like douches then Jyn would provide payback in the form of bleeding their bank accounts dry through a series of unforgivingly expensive treats and dinners. Her biggest talent was probably the fact that she’d clean out their wallets without even shedding a single layer of clothing. 

Fortunately the two of you emerged from your youthful dalliances rather unscathed. Was your GPA something to write home about? Probably not. But at least you lived a little, right? While you settled on (surprisingly) getting into grad school, Jyn wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. One thing she knew for sure was that the woman was _so_ over higher education. 

You weren’t really sure what Jyn did now. She cycled through so many part-time jobs it was hard to keep up. You started to mull over her short-lived career as an actress ( _deceased prostitute number two on Law & Order SVU season six_) when she snapped her fingers in front of your face. 

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

She took in your confused expression and shook her head. “Come on, girl. Now is not the time to relax. We need to find Lord Dickhead and then get the hell out of here, okay?” 

You nodded and quickly downed your glass for courage. Jyn smirked and patted your back. “Atta girl,” she cheered. Looping an arm through the crook of your elbow, she pulled you away from the bar to circle the room. 

Meanwhile, Kylo was nursing his own glass of whiskey as his eyes trailed behind you like a shark. You weren’t wearing _that_ just a few hours ago. His grip was like steel as he thought about your earlier confrontation. Most women would have been all over him by now. At the very least excited to get free Knights of Ren tickets. Not only were you the opposite of thrilled, but he didn’t even catch who your guest was. 

He was pretty sure he overheard Phasma tell Mitaka that you were bringing someone named Jim. What kind of name was that anyways? Kylo irritatedly thought that the guy sounded obnoxious. He probably had a full-time job and 401K. Kylo bitterly thought that Jim probably had a college degree.

Just as he thought his night couldn’t get worse, he caught sight of Poe Dameron making his way across the room towards you and a female who looked faintly familiar. God, he fucking hated the pretentious prick. The only reason Kylo barely tolerated his presence was the fact that he was grew up with Phasma and the pair were still good buddies. 

Poe caught up to you just as Jyn stopped to grab another drink from the bar cart. 

“Here, let me help,” he smoothly interjected as he reached over to grab an empty glass. Normally Jyn would roll her eyes at “chivalry”, but she caught sight of Kylo’s death glare towards the pop singer and smirked. She tilted her head and coyly giggled, “Thank you! I’m Jyn, and this beautiful single lady is my friend...”

The brown haired woman choked as you sharply elbowed her in the rib at the words “single” and “lady.” Poe caught the action and laughed at your playfulness. Slipping a full glass into your hand he replied, “Hello, ladies. I’m Poe.” 

If you weren’t planning on murdering your best friend, you certainly were about to. The woman suddenly turned to you and exclaimed, “I need to run to the restroom. But I’m sure Poe wouldn’t mind hanging out with you for a little bit while I’m gone?” 

Ever the gentleman, Poe enthusiastically agreed and Jyn took off before you could protest. The singer watched as you quickly downed half of your glass and dryly joked, “Whoa. I never said that I was _great_ company, but I didn’t realize I was doing so poorly already.” 

You shook your head and laughed. “No, no. It’s just...I didn’t really come here to party.” 

“Then why did you come?” 

“I’m...geez, it sounds really immature and petty if I say it out loud.” 

Poe grinned and topped your glass off as he replied, “I once signed on to be a spokesperson for a leather jacket company just to spite a vegan ex.” You tilted your head down and let out a wheezy laugh. 

“Alright, but promise you won’t judge me?” 

Poe stuck out a pinky finger, and you wound your finger around his own. “Promise.” 

“Okay. So, Kylo Ren kind of royally pissed me off tonight, so I came here to try and irritate the shit out of him for retaliation. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll execute my plan though, since Jyn was the mastermind and now she’s nowhere to be found.” 

A glimmer shone in Poe’s eyes as he casually leaned forward to whisper, “Well, you’re just in luck. I can’t stand the guy either, so why don’t we help each other out?” 

You were one shot of tequila and two and half glasses of whiskey into the night. 

So yeah. That sounded like a good plan. 

Nodding along with the man, you softly gasped as he wound an arm around your waist. Stepping forward, he brushed his lips against your ear and murmured, “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” You could barely push the syllables out of your mouth as you replied, “What...what are you doing?”

Poe remained in place as he quietly replied, “Finding out whether or not Kylo Ren is a patient man.”

Your spine stiffened at the unexpected physical contact, which didn’t go unnoticed by the man. He pulled back slightly and softly continued, “I’m honestly not planning on giving you more than a hug, but we can totally stop. Just say the word.”

Willing your shoulders to relax, you snaked a hand up to rest your palms flat against his chest. “No, I’m fine. I appreciate you letting me know. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Poe nodded. “Okay, good. Because you kind of need to look somewhat interested for this to work.”

You tossed your head back in genuine laughter as the tension dissipated. Poe cracked a wide grin and the two of you continued to chat. While the conversation itself was the furthest thing from flirty, ( _sure, IRA contributions are tax-deductible, but if you want penalty free early withdrawals then..._ ) your physicality told a different story. 

Once in a while, Poe would reach up to play with the bottom of your ponytail as he wrapped a few strands around his fingers. You, on the other hand, continued to slide your palms up and down his chest while tilting your face up to laugh at his jokes. It was when Poe reached over to cup the back of your neck with his hand that Kylo lost it. 

He hadn’t even realized that his feet had begun to move. Somehow, he crossed the entirety of his living room and ended up awkwardly standing in front of yourself and Poe. 

The pop singer smirked, “Uh, hey man. Can we help you?”

You turned so your hip was flush against Poe’s as you leaned a head against his chest. Quietly staring up at the man, you tried to conjure a look that was equal parts innocent and “ _fuck you_ ”.

Shit. Kylo hadn’t thought through his plan of action. He quickly supplied, “Yeah. Your friend is looking for you.”

You raised a single eyebrow and asked, “Who?” 

Fuck. Kylo looked around and took a chance. “Uh, your friend from the concert. Jim.” 

Jyn? Although, you could have sworn he said “Jim”. It was super fucking loud though, and you weren’t exactly sure _what_ he said. You certainly weren’t about to embarrass yourself by playing five rounds of “what did you say?” and having the man repeat himself. Extracting yourself from Poe’s side, you turned to give him a faux sultry gaze. “Sorry, Poe. I gotta find my friend. Call me later about that date?” 

Poe nodded and gave you a wink, satisfied that the two of you had successfully riled up your mutual enemy. 

Kylo held himself back from straight up hissing, and reached over to aggressively tug your wrist into his wide palm. He jerked you away and practically dragged your body across the living room. Just as the two of you disappeared around the corner and out of eyesight, Poe was suddenly joined by another person. 

Arms crossed with an evil smirk on her face, Phasma stepped up and offered the man a high-five. 

“Thanks, Poe. I owe you one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sprinkling in a little jealous Kylo to spice things up. Next up, some one-on-one time with our favorite rockstar. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leaving such sweet feedback last chapter! I'm honestly thrilled that ya'll are having as much fun reading as I am writing <3


	5. The Air Clears

“Ow! Let go!” You shouted as Kylo continued to drag you down a hallway. So focused on the fact that you were being manhandled by the brooding man, you were completely unaware of how many twists and turns he had pulled you through. How big was this fucking Willy Wonka factory of a home anyways?

“I said, let _go_ you fucking psycho!” You cried as you shook your arm out of his grip. Somehow he had corralled you into a study, and despite your agitation and confusion, you couldn’t help the first response to spill out of your mouth.

“You actually _read_?”

Kylo spun around and slammed the door shut. Still facing away from you, he had one hand flat against the door, while the other laid balled up at his hip. You could tell that his chest was heaving up and down, and instinctively stepped away until the back of your thighs hit a sturdy oak desk. Looking around in silence, you took notice of the floor to ceiling bookcases filled to the brim with books and journals. 

Judging by the worn through covers, it became clear that this was a functional office and you were immediately hit with a pang of guilt. Sure, Kylo might be a rockstar who ran around chasing tail while destroying public property, but that shouldn’t imply that he was _stupid_. There was more depth to the mysterious man, and you reluctantly admitted that you might have judged him too quickly. 

But then he had to go and open his mouth and make you hate him all over again.

“Yes, of course I fucking _read_. I’m glad to see that Brooklyn’s finest waitress has deduction skills.”

“ _Excuse me?_ You know what, fuck you. Fuck you and your judgmental pompous attitude. Where’s my friend. I’m leaving right now.” 

Kylo turned around, but stubbornly refused to meet your icy stare. Your eyes slowly narrowed into slits as you took in his expression. Was that...guilt? Stepping forward, you cautiously ventured, “Kylo. Where’s my friend?”

He ran a large palm through his locks and replied, “There wasn’t exactly a friend looking for you...per se...”

“Then why did you drag me away from Poe?” 

Kylo finally met your glare with one of his own. “I was doing you a favor, you know. Poe would never actually be interested in someone like you. He’s a total player who...”

Your jaw dropped in incredulous anger. “What? You have no right to dictate who I can or cannot talk to! Who the hell do you think you are? Besides, who said that _I_ was interested in _him_?”

“Fine! Go back to Poe or your friend Jim then. See if I care who you waste your time with. I hope you and Jim had fun fucking around in my house drinking up my booze.” 

Without missing a beat, you threw both arms out in exasperation as you shrieked, “ _WHO THE FUCK IS JIM?_ ”

Kylo’s brow furrowed as he took in your genuinely confused expression. Stepping back a little, he stuttered, “I thought...I thought you were here with a guy named Jim. Phasma...”

Throwing a palm up to your face, you tightly pinched the bridge of your nose as you hissed, “Oh my God, you are such an idiot. My friend’s name is Jyn. Ji-nuh. And I can assure you that while we have indeed been drinking up your expensive booze, I’m not dating _her_.”

A realization suddenly dawned on you as a coy smile slid across your features. Slowly, you began to advance towards the man - all fear and concern lost. Now standing close enough to touch, you tilted you head upwards and teasingly asked, “Why would it matter to you who I date? So what if I liked Poe? Or if I had a boyfriend name Jim? Or even if I was together with Jyn?” 

Kylo turned his head to avoid your shit eating grin and muttered, “I _don’t_ care. Get over yourself.” 

“Sure, sure. Because it’s totally normally to go dragging people away from potential love interests, right?”

Shuffling forward so the tips of your toes were gently nudging his feet, you carefully swept his bangs out of his face. Moving your hand downwards, you barely grazed his cheek as your fingers rested against his chin. From this distance, you could feel his breath stutter while your nimble fingers danced down the column of his neck to rest at his sternum. 

“Are you _jealous_ , Kylo?”

Kylo reached up to grip your wrist in his palm as he pushed your hand away from his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He still couldn’t look you in the eye though, and that only made you smirk. 

Tugging your wrist out of his grip, you moved to brush past the man as you sauntered towards the door. Pausing just before exiting you turned to murmur, “You’re right. I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I don’t think you do either.”

With one last gaze, you stepped out into the hallway and the door loudly shut behind you. Kylo remained rooted on the spot as he stared into the space you once occupied. 

The rest of the party went by in relative ease. You caught back up with Jyn, and immediately gave her an earful about ditching you. Afterwards, you found your way to Phasma’s side, and the blonde drummer insisted on clearing the air. She had only meant innocent fun when keeping you in the dark about who she was, and hadn’t meant to offend you. There was nothing to apologize for though, and you admitted to being too quick to anger. The two of you enjoyed a shot of liquor together - promising to continue exploring your budding friendship. 

By the time you ran into Kylo again, you were well and truly wasted. Stumbling out onto this balcony, you tilted your chin up to take lungfuls of the crisp autumn air. The moonlight gently cascaded against your features, creating a halo behind your profile as you closed your eyes to bask in the peace. The sound of shuffling caught your attention, and you opened your eyes just in time to catch Kylo attempting to slink back into his home undetected. 

“Is the big bad rockstar suddenly shy? No mean retorts left?”

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face you. “ _Mean_?”

Crossing your arms in anger you seethed, “Yeah. You’re a bully.” Kylo gave a dry laugh and crossed the balcony to stand next to you. “What, are we in middle school? I have no interest in ‘bullying’ a waitress. I’m a fucking millionaire with shit to do.” 

Turning to jab a finger into his chest, you spat, “See! There you go again. Do you even know that I’m in grad school? All you’ve done since we met is talk down to me, when you don’t even know the basics of who I am. You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through.”

Too drunk to care about how you looked, your jaw quivered as you continued, “Do you think I like waitressing? Do you think I enjoy wearing a fucking costume at work literally doing a song and dance just so I can get shitty tips from haughty hipsters like yourself? Some of us don’t have a support network, and I’m doing everything I can just to stay afloat in this city without losing my goddamn mind. So I’m sorry if I’ve been too busy juggling a budding career as a 50’s impersonator along with an impossible workload to not have known who the fuck you were when we first met.” 

Turning on your heel with a huff, you were stopped when Kylo reached out to grab your hand. Slowly tugging you back towards him, he quietly whispered, “It’s...it’s not like that. I don’t look down on you, and I don’t care that you’re a waitress. I’m a shitty person, okay? I don’t make friends easily, and _every fucking time_ you open you snarky mouth I’m put off my game. Everyone acts like I’m a character in a movie, and you’re the first person to treat me like I’m a real person. I guess I wasn’t ready for that.”

He let go of your hand to turn so he could lean against the balcony. Carefully stepping up to his side, you mimicked Kylo’s posture by resting your arms against the cool metal bar as well. Soft wind swept through the air, picking up strands of your hair to dance against his arm. Playfully nudging his shoulder, you asked, “So...should we start over and try and be friends then?”

Kylo laughed and turned to meet your eyes. For the first time that night, your gazes were amiable. Nodding, he gently replied, “Yeah. Friends.” 

You leaned a head against his shoulder and murmured, “But I can’t promise that I’ll stop the teasing. You make it way too easy for me.” He let out an honest chuckle as he returned to staring out into the night sky. 

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on getting this out till Wednesday, but your sweet kudos and comments seriously give me life. Thanks for giving my fic a chance :)


	6. Fucked In The Worst Way

To Kylo Ren, his life had begun to unwittingly alter with a singular misunderstanding. For you, life changed its course with a simple text message. 

_Kylo Ren | 3:02 AM | Okay, so I get that “friends”, or whatever the fuck we are, text each other. You know, recreationally, or whatever. But is it still considered friendly, if I give you a ‘friendly’ reminder that you have horrible taste, and that your Spotify playlists belong in a garbage can somewhere in Long Island? Preferably set on fire. You know, but friendly._

The light from your phone was so bright, you could almost _hear_ it. Blindly groping around the nightstand, your fingers finally brushed against the cool metal device as you flipped over to read the message. Half-awake, your thumbs clumsily ghosted over the screen as you typed in irritation. 

_Princess | 3:03 AM | Firstly, why did you change my name to ‘princess’ in my own goddamn phone?_

_Princess | 3:04 AM | Secondly, yes. Friends text each other. But only dipshits text at 3 am on a fucking weekday. Some of us have jobs you dweeb._

_Princess | 3:05 AM | Thirdly, why do you text in big paragraphs like you’re fucking eighty? You’re really giving me great evidence that you are, in fact, not a twenty-seven year old man._

_Princess | 3:06 AM | Lastly, my taste in music is clearly and obviously far superior to yours. It’s not even up for debate, so don’t waste your time._

Mentally cursing Kylo, you were about to toss the phone aside when the screen lit up again. Only this time, a steady vibration accompanied the light indicating that Kylo was now calling you. Your voiced sounded like sandpaper as you croaked, “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” 

“Yes. But that’s not why I’m calling.” 

“This better be good. Don’t forget that I now know where you live.” 

Suddenly the sound of Scary Spice spilled out of the phone as a barrage of bass and poppy vocals assaulted your eardrums. Kylo’s voice could barely be heard over the song, “Okay, explain to me why ‘Wannabe’ is listed on your ‘Ride or Die’ playlist?” 

Flipping over to punch your pillow, you huffed out, “Oh my fucking God. Kylo. I’m going to bed. I have a shift at seven in the morning!” 

Slamming your phone to silent, you threw the device onto the floor. You already regretted your decision to include Kylo in your life. 

The next morning was a flurry of struggling into polyester accompanied by a steady string of expletives while you teased your hair into a high ponytail. There was no way that you’d let yourself get reprimanded for being late to work. Your pride refused to allow a faux Elvis Presley to scream at you next to a dumpster out back. Hell no. 

Slamming the front door shut, you gave it one last tug for good measure, and then hit the pavement. Unfortunately, you ended up hitting something else first. 

“Jesus, woman! Don’t you think it’s too early to start abusing me?” 

Kylo had managed to lurch away after you collided into the man. His arms were outstretched - a cup of coffee in either hand. You looked up in wild surprise as the man steadied your flailing body with his hip. Nudging you back upright, he gave you a devilish grin while handing you a paper cup. 

“You can’t say that I don’t have a conscience. I kind of felt like shit for waking you up, so here’s some caffeine.” 

The cup was still piping hot - narrow plumes of steam rising from the small oval slit at the top. He tucked into his own beverage, and added after swallowing, “I had to bribe Phasma to tell me where you lived. So before you start giving me shit, I’m not a stalker or something.” 

You looked up at him in suspicion, but was too tired to argue. He did bring you coffee after all, and had surprisingly guessed your order correctly - black with two sugars. “So, are you walking me to work or something?” Your eyebrow quirked in interest as you watched the man struggle with pulling a beanie over his unruly hair. He shrugged, but still kept up with your pace while fumbling with a pair of Ray-Bans. 

“Oh my God, where did Kylo go?” You joked at his lame attempt of camouflage. 

Despite being hidden behind frames, his amber eyes were certainly rolling. The distance between work and home was fairly short - just a brisk twenty minute walk. Fifteen if you didn’t have to curtly shove past tourists taking photos in the middle of the goddamn sidewalk. 

You still enjoyed teasing Kylo, and the man certainly seemed to have an an affinity for biting right back. Despite the banter though, you still managed to slip in some “getting to know each other” topics. Apparently the rockstar was a classically trained pianist with dreams of Julliard before “everything went to shit”.

He, in turn, took interest in your busy schedule and work ethic. The man was floored at how many shifts you took on top of balancing a tricky thesis and demanding advisor. The commute felt shorter with Kylo at your side, and you soon arrived at the diner in a surprisingly pleasant mood. Kylo shuffled his feet before awkwardly clearing his throat. 

“Yeahhh. Good talk. Alright, I’ll see you around then.” 

Peering up at the man between long fluttering lashes, you tilted your head in concern. He wasn’t usually one to be uncomfortable. Annoying, sure. But never awkward. Shrugging off the sudden change in demeanor, you gave him a friendly wave. “Okaaay... as long as you promise no more three A.M. phone calls, yeah?” 

No, there were no longer any late night interruptions. Instead, Kylo had taken to waiting at the bottom of your stoop with two cups of coffee whenever there was an early morning shift. The habit just sort of crept up on the both of you. There wasn’t any explanation to it. The two of you certainly never directly addressed the morning chats. One day he wasn’t there, and suddenly he was always there. 

The little meetings were unassuming at first. 

_“Have you ever been told that you look like a cheap Edward Scissorhands impersonator?”_

_“Fuck off, princess. You’re one to talk about fashion sense.”_

_“I’m just surprised that you don’t shop at Hot Topic.”_

The weather slowly continued to cool as you welcomed winter with open arms in the form of thick knit sweaters and prematurely humming Christmas carols underneath your breath. Kylo apparently had his own holiday preferences. 

_“I’m sorry, but are you actually drinking a peppermint white mocha?”_

_“How about you mind your own business, princess.”_

_“I would, but I can smell that abomination through my scarf.”_

_“Then don’t stand so close to me!”_

Kylo had proceeded to push you away with his hip. You fired back with a nudge of your own. Next thing you knew, the two of you were laughing down the sidewalk as you continued to playfully shove each other back and forth. You could have sworn that there was _something_ in his eye when his large hand lingered by the small of your back. And just maybe, there was something in _your_ eye as your narrow fingers clutched onto the hem of his sweater.

The next time he brought two peppermint mochas with _extra_ white chocolate out of spite. There were no complaints though. Perhaps you harbored a secret love for all things cheesy and holiday related. As time passed, the conversations slowly increased in depth as well. The two of you tentatively dancing around each other as trust was painstakingly built. 

_“Got plans for Thanksgiving, princess?”_

_“Oh. Uh, no. I’m not close with my family. Jyn and I just do simple holidays together.”_

_“I see. I’m not close with my family either.”_

_“Want to talk about it?”_

_“No.”_

Just as trust was built through communication, it put Kylo at ease knowing that he could also trust you to drop uncomfortable subjects. It was clear that you were just as broken as he, and somehow the man found comfort in the fact. You had no interest in “fixing” him - after all, there were issues that you were unwilling to face yourself. 

It wasn’t until one fateful Thursday morning that you experienced a monumental paradigm shift. Everything was par for the course until it wasn’t. Kylo had dropped you off at work, and just before you said goodbye, he slapped a hand against his forehead. 

“Shit, I almost forgot to tell you, princess. I can’t pick you up for the rest of the week.” 

“Oh. I mean, that’s fine. You have a life too. I didn’t expect you to...” Your voice awkwardly trailed off. 

“No, no. I like our walks! It’s just that we’ve started working on the next album, and the only time our producer has this week is in the morning. Trust me, I tried everything I could to keep our time free.”

“That’s okay, Kylo. I’m excited for you.” 

He stuffed both hands into his pockets and gave you a small smile. The tip of his boot worked at shifting a small rock from side-to-side. You deliberately refused to make eye contact as the both of you settled into the first uncomfortable silence since your little hangouts commenced. Finally, Kylo blurted out, “Maybe we could have some P.M. hangouts then?” 

You smiled and nudged his shoulder with your own. “Sure. As long as we go somewhere that doesn’t require you to wear eyeliner, grandpa.” 

The man groaned and turned on his heel to leave. Twisting around to give you one final look, he threw a small salute and then disappeared around the corner. Standing there alone, you stared into the empty space as two words slowly rang in your head. 

_“Our time”_

Slowly, it seemed as if sound and vision began to bleed together as a shocking realization made itself known. You would _miss_ the asshole. Even if his absence would only be for a few short days, you had quickly become accustomed to the man’s presence in your life. Despite the continual ribbing shared between you two, a small seed of warmth and familiarity had begun to blossom. 

Shit. 

You immediately dug into your purse, pulling your phone out so quickly the device seemed to jump between your shaking fingers. 

_Princess | 6:49 AM | JYN. DEFCON ONE. I REPEAT, DEFCON ONE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL._

_Jyn | 6:51 AM | I get off work at 7. I’ll get to you place with wine at 7:30 sharp. Will you be okay until then?_

_Princess | 6:52 AM | Yeah. Love ya, girl._

You clutched the phone against your chest while huffing in erratic breaths. Fuck. You weren’t supposed to develop a crush on Kylo. There were tons of eligible bachelors in New York City. You’d even take a trust fund baby at this point. Anyone but Kylo Ren. Because sure, he was a womanizing, big headed, and infuriating asshole. But he was also the man who brought you early morning coffees four times a week. The man who lent a friendly ear when you went on rants (and Lord knows there was a lot you could rant about). The brooding figure who would put his foot in his mouth one moment, and then do something irresponsibly sweet like lend you his scarf when you left yours at home. No. Anyone but Ren.

A small voice protested in the back of your head as you thought about his warm hazel eyes. The low rumble of his laugh. The sweet baritone that would lull you to a peaceful plane during conversation.

You were fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ho ho ho ho.


	7. A Curveball

Jyn was sitting crosslegged on the living room floor. Chin balanced atop the coffee table, her hand was shoved to the bottom of a plastic bag as she rummaged around for more soy sauce packets. You were having a serious life crisis, and that could only mean one thing - dissecting every detail over the unlikely, yet delicious, combination of rosé and Chinese takeout. 

“Okay, so let me get the facts straight. Kylo Ren, the dark Lord himself, has been walking you to every morning shift for the past month or so? And bringing you coffee?” 

“Yes.”

“And he’s never asked you for money? For the coffee?” 

“No.” 

Jyn sat back and let out a low whistle. Sitting back to place both palms behind her head, she turned to give you a pained expression. You swallowed down a mouthful of lo-mein and huffed, “What?” Your friend dramatically tapped an index finger against her chin and replied, “I just don’t think I’m psychologically ready for World War Three.” 

Throwing a fortune cookie across the room at her head, you scoffed, “You’re always suck a fucking drama queen.”

“No, I’m serious. Listen, Kylo has the emotional maturity of a prepubescent middle schooler. You, on the other hand, have so many abandonment issues you can’t even commit to signing up for loyalty cards. Throw in romantic feelings and...well...” She lazily rolled her wrists in a vague gesture, imploring you to fill in the blanks yourself.

You pulled your feet up to the couch in order to rest your chin between your knees. Picking at some fried rice you muttered, “Look, I just said that I kind of liked the guy. I don’t even know if I want to start dating right now. I’m just a few months away from graduation, and who knows what will happen? Besides, I’m pretty sure that Kylo Ren isn’t the dating type.” 

At least according to People magazine. You cringed at the memory of flipping through this month’s issue at the grocery checkout. Big white block letters shouted from the top of the page thirty-five: _Kylo Ren : Top Twenty Hot Exes!_ You flinched at the subtext. _These lucky ladies have tasted Kylo’s famously plump lips. Who will be next?_

You weren’t one to judge someone’s dating history. But seriously, dude? _Twenty_ exes? 

You certainly had no interest in being number twenty-one. And you definitely had no desire to have your photo plastered all over glossy pages. Especially if his hand was literally down your pants. You thought back to the article...that was number fifteen right? Or maybe fifteen was the topless model clinging onto his back in Cannes. 

Wait. You were pretty sure that fifteen was the French singer Kylo was caught leaving a club with. That wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow, but the paparazzi had caught a bright red thong hanging out of his back pocket. _That_ also could have been ignored, except for a rather suspicious wet spot on said piece of lingerie. 

You grabbed a nearby pillow and screamed into it. 

Jyn gave your thigh a sympathetic pat. “Hey, it’s okay to have _feelings_ , ya know? There’s no pressure to rush into anything, or even figure things out. Besides, I don’t blame you. You have a _rockstar_ walking you to work every other day.”

“Fuck off, Jyn.” You groaned at her light teasing. 

But that did get you wondering. Surely Kylo must have been a busy man, even if he wasn’t touring. There was no way that you were such a gifted conversationalist that he’d feel compelled to get coffee with you so often...right? 

Your best friend flopped onto her back and sighed, “Fine. Whatever, _princess_. Can we talk about whether or not you’re coming to my company holiday party?” 

“At the risk of sounding like a bitch, I didn’t realize you were working somewhere that held company parties.” 

Jyn laughed, “I don’t. Poe Dameron hired me as his P.A. He’s throwing a massive rager at his penthouse and I need my best friend there.” 

“I’m sorry, but how do you go to a house party and leave working for one of the biggest pop stars in the nation?”

Sitting up, Jyn threw you a playful wink before diving into a box of wontons.

* * *

Surprisingly, Kylo didn’t wait very long to send a text message. The man was keeping you on edge in the weirdest way possible - earnest communication and straightforwardness. Even after a month of friendship, your prejudiced (and defensive, according to Jyn) mind had half expected Kylo to engage in mind-games. You were fully prepared for delayed responses, flippancy, and any other behavior that could be coined as “douchey”.

That wasn’t the case though. Every other day, he would faithfully walk you to work. Whenever he said he’d call, he’d do just that. It was almost as if Kylo Ren could be a decent and normal functioning member of society.

You know, as long as he’s not caught on video screaming at the press while throwing chairs out the window.

You stared down at your phone in astonishment. Jyn had accompanied you to the university library for a quick study session. The day was typical enough - you working on your thesis while Jyn kept you company. That was, until Kylo texted you.

_Kylo Ren | 4:18 PM | Hey! So I know that this is a bit last minute, but a buddy of mine bought a club, and the grand opening is tonight. Interested in going out? You can bring friends._

_Kylo Ren | 4:19 PM | I remember you telling me that you had tomorrow off work, and your advisor canceled on your meeting, right? That means you don’t have any excuses to say no and be a grandma ;)_

You continued to look down at your phone in awe. Kylo Ren, mega-star of the rock world, remembered your work _and_ school schedule. Something you had only mentioned in passing once. Soft hair tickled at your neck as Jyn peered over your shoulder. Before you could move your phone out of her eyesight, the woman let out a loud gasp. 

“Jyn!” 

Her mouth silently worked over the words “oh my God” over and over again as she silently made the motion to clap. Her lips turned upwards into a smirk, and your eyes narrowed in return. You’d seen that look before. It was the kind of look that would grace her features right before she did something insane like hop on a private jet headed towards the Maldives with the son of an oil baron - after only knowing the guy for less than an hour.

Suddenly, her hand flew out towards your lap. Quick as could be, she had snatched your phone right out of your hands, and was clear across the room. Your eyes widened in panic as you helplessly watched her fingers fly across the screen. 

A few undergrads shot you annoyed glares when your chair loudly toppled over on your way towards Jyn. Even from a few feet away, you could hear the device buzz, and you prayed to whatever higher power out there that it wasn’t a response from Kylo. Apparently your prayers were useless though, as Jyn quickly typed something back. Holding the phone above your head, she continued to type with one hand as you furtively reached up for it. 

“Jyn. I’m not fucking around! Give me my goddamn phone back!” You hissed as aggressively as you could inside of a library. 

It felt like a lifetime before the brunette dropped the phone back into your palm - her eyes sparkling in triumph. 

_Princess | 4:20 PM | Trust me, my outfit tonight will be far from “grandma”._

_Kylo Ren | 4:21 PM | Fuck, princess._

_Kylo Ren | 4:22 PM | You’re going to get me in trouble._

_Princess | 4:23 PM | That’s kind of the point. Feel free to try and whip me into shape though._

_Kylo Ren | 4:24 PM | I’ll pick you up at 9. Don’t let me down._

Your stomach clenched at the messages. “Seriously, Jyn? That was not subtle at all!” You hissed at your best friend. She rolled her eyes and shot back her own retort. “I’m just trying to speed things along. You’ll thank me later.”

“For what? Looking like another thirsty groupie?” 

“Listen, you’re one of the most badass women that I have the pleasure of knowing, but you’re way too guarded when it comes to the not-so-fairer sex. And while there’s nothing wrong with being conservative, I’d love to see something - _anything_ \- happen between you and Kylo. Preferably before I’m married to my second or third husband.”

“I enjoy moving at my own pace, _thankyouverymuch_.”

“As I’m sure you are. But you can’t tell me that you’re happy dancing around the subject of dating Kylo. You deserve to be happy.” 

“He’s a _rockstar_ , Jyn.” 

In an instant, Jyn’s face twisted into an expression that was somewhere between disbelief and anger. Sharply grabbing your forearms with both hands, she forced you to make eye contact with her. 

“Is that what this is? You making some piss poor excuse that you might not be ‘good enough’ for Kylo? As if your worth could be measured?” 

“Fuck, no. Maybe. I mean...the logistics alone...”

Jyn let out a bark if dry laughter. “ _Logistics_ are what’s stopping you from going after what you want?” 

Well, of course the obvious answer would be fucking “logistics”. You certainly weren’t about to answer “low self-esteem” or “fear of commitment” in a room full of nosy undergrads. Your life might be a complete mess, but you had some semblance of pride, dammit. Nothing needed to be said out loud though. Jyn could read the sentiment loud and clear through facial expression alone. 

The woman began to pack up your belongings. 

“This is what’s going to happen. We’re going over to the Ticos, and they’re going to shove you into the tightest, shortest, most obscene thing in Paige’s close. Then we’re going to send you home - _alone_ \- so Kylo can pick you up while us girls get ready and meet you later...”

She was now sliding backpack straps up your arm like a mother would help their child. 

“...and then you’re going to stop overthinking everything, and live a little for once. Even if the entire night goes to shit and you don’t end up fucking Kylo, at least you’ll have us girls by your side. Okay?” 

Honestly, Jyn was probably doing the world a favor by using her powers for good, and not evil. The combination of good looks, cunning wit, and a taste for adventure made the woman a force to be reckoned with. Instead of using her gifts for nefarious purposes though, she instead turned her attention to her best friend. 

That’s how you ended up back at home a few hours later, nervously pacing the length of your living room alone. 

Because somehow your trio of girlfriends had managed to coax you into a dress (which, in your opinion, was a generous use of the word) that looked lightyears away from any look you’ve ever worn in front of Kylo. Or in the entirety of your life for the matter. Although Rose argued that you looked more “high-end escort” and less “straight prostitute”, nothing could calm your nerves as you awkwardly fingered the short hem on your practically painted on dress.

Thank God for the Tico sisters, because if Rose wasn’t there to figure out the straps and skin baring cutouts, you probably would have blown your brains out. Or at the very least suffered a Janet Jackson à la 2004. Stumbling over to your kitchenette, you immediately squatted down to the floor. Glass clinked against glass as your pushed around in your cupboard before your fingers found purchase around a bottle of tequila. 

Now was not the time for making good decisions. That chance went out the door the minute Paige forcefully tugged off your underwear and shrieked that panty lines were for pussies. 

You were sure there was a pun or joke in there somewhere, but that chance also flew out the door alongside your bra. 

So, you tipped your head back and guzzled a shot or two or spicy Mexican liquor. 

You know what’s for pussies? Counting out your shots. 

Setting the considerably lighter bottle down on the floor, you leaned your head against the dishwasher while silently cursing being in tune with your emotions. Everything went to shit the moment you realized that you could possible harbor a not-so-harmless crush on Kylo. You clumsily stood on shaking legs as the sound of knocking interrupted your thoughts. 

Sauntering towards the offending noise with as much grace as one could muster halfway to blitzville, you threw the door open with gusto. Kylo stepped back as his eyes opened in surprise, your outfit completely distracting the man from your sudden lackadaisical attitude. Raking in your figure from head-to-toe, and then back up again, he raised an eyebrow and breathed, “Fuck. Yeah, you’re no grandma.” 

Leaning against the doorframe, you smirked at his shocked expression. Kylo remained outside, hands fisted inside his jeans as he continued, “So - uh - you gonna invite me in or something? We have a little bit of time before we need to meet up with everyone.” 

You slowly nodded, and stepped aside to let the man in. He carefully moved through the threshold, and tried to look around with as much politeness as possible. 

“Yeah, sorry it’s not a mansion or whatever your highness.”

Shit. Jyn’s voice echoed in the back of your head - “ _you turn into a total bitch when you’re tipsy_.”

As Kylo slowly turned to face you, his eyes landed on the half-finished bottle of tequila. Brows furrowing in confusion, the man slowly stepped up to your now swaying figure. Almost as tentatively as one would approach a tiger, he carefully asked, “Are you drunk, princess?” 

“I see that you’re not the only one with deduction skills, Sherlock.” 

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and moaned. Turning on his heel, he stalked to the kitchen and began to rummage around. Following right behind, you shouted in indignation, “Hey! Don’t go through my stuff!” 

Kylo reappeared with a glass of water and sat it on the dining table in front of you. “Dude, we can’t go to the club with you like this.” He made an ambiguous gesture towards your direction as you slowly slumped into a seat by the table. 

You could do this. 

You could pull it together, and get to the party.

You weren’t about to embarrass yourself in front of Kylo...

You pawed the glass off the table like a cat and giggled as it shattered on the floor. 

Kylo glared down at your form and began to pace as he groaned, “What the fuck happened? How the hell are you such a mess right now?” 

Looking up at the hulking man between fluttering lashes, you quietly hiccuped, “I was nervous.” The man suddenly stopped in his tracks as he slowly turned to take in your tired demeanor. He’d never seen you like this before. Sure, he’d seen you drunk off your ass, but never so shy. You were a spitfire, and always ready to dish it to him. 

But seeing you so soft awakened something else in him that he’d never been privy to before. Suddenly Kylo felt possessive and protective as your head slowly slid onto the table while you whimpered into folded arms. 

“Come on, princess,” Kylo sighed. He carefully stepped around the broken glass and tugged one of your hands. A shriek escaped your lips as he looped it around his neck. Slipping an arm underneath your knees, he cradled you to his chest as he lifted your figure up into the air. 

It was easy to find your bedroom, seeing that the entire apartment could probably fit into Kylo’s living room. Stepping into the small room, he carefully lowered you to the bed. He began to poke around your closet when you garbled, “Stop being a snoop, Kylo.” 

The man chortled as he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt. Ignoring your protests, he then went into the bathroom and returned with a few makeup removing wipes. Sitting at the edge of your bed, he gently rubbed the sheets in circular motions as you gave half-hearted protests. 

“Why are you even nervous? You go out with Jyn all the time. This isn’t any different than any other night.” 

You mumbled something intelligible in response. 

Kylo rolled his eyes and continued in silence. Tossing away the dirtied sheets, he smiled at his handiwork. That was much better. Kylo preferred you without makeup anyways. Poking your cheek with an index finger, Kylo teased, “You good to change into your sweats?” 

You nodded and awkwardly pushed him away while whining, “Close your eyes!” He laughed and made a show of covering his face as you shifted around on the bed. Once he heard you settling down again, he left for the kitchen and returned with more water. 

“Alright. Even though you’re out for the count, my publicist would kill me if I missed the club opening. You gonna be okay alone, princess?” 

Sure. Of course you were. You’ve been a loner for as long as you could remember. But instead of saying that, you reached out and gently gripped the edge of Kylo’s sleeve. 

“No.” 

Kylo faltered for a second as you avoided his eyes. Your grip softened before you sighed and rolled to face away from him. Lying on your side, you closed your eyes to the sound of fabric rustling. It felt like a lifetime had passed before the bed suddenly dipped and you felt a wall of heat and flesh settle next to you. 

Kylo’s long arm snaked underneath your pillow as he gingerly tugged your back against his bare chest. You were about to say something, but the words never came. The alcohol finally ran its course as you blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may or may not have been inspired by a few occasions where I may or may not have been able to make it out past pre-gaming. 
> 
> Ah, to be young again. Now I just write fic and drink wine. 
> 
> Next up: We wake up ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Sending you guys so much love <3


	8. Sure, Just Friends

If life had been a romantic comedy, you might have risen to the soundtrack of birds chirping accompanied by a gentle stream of mid-morning light bathing the room in a toasty glow. Perhaps it would be the warm scent of coffee that would awaken you from slumber. Kylo could certainly slip out of bed, only to labor at breakfast for one grand romantic and heartfelt gesture. 

That wouldn’t have been necessary though. You could also rouse to the sight of Kylo perched on an elbow - resting his head against his hand as he watched the rise and fall of your chest during sleep. In that silence, he’d realize his undying love as your own eyes slowly fluttered open to meet his gaze. And in that moment, you’d both settle on an unspoken truth - that you were wildly enamored with one another in a passionate and selfless love. 

Instead, you were rudely reintroduced to the world of consciousness through a rather accidental, albeit aggressive, head butt. You sat up in surprise and pain, and incidentally ended up kneeing Kylo in the hip. 

“Holy shit, you’re even belligerent in sleep!” Kylo shouted as the man doubled over in pain. You were gripping onto the side of your head as you shot back, “Are you fucking kidding me? You just head butted me!” 

“It was an accident! That’s your fault, anyways. Who even sleeps in a fucking twin bed after college?” 

“Technically, I _am_ still in school,” you deadpanned. 

Kylo paused for a moment, and then burst into laughter. It was in that moment of his distraction when you realized that he was in nothing but boxer briefs. At least you could ascertain that much from the press of his bare muscular thigh against your own leg. He lifted the sheets and moved to stand, and you immediately regretted the loss of warmth. Lifting both arms up into the air, Kylo yawned as he lazily stretched from side to side. 

Turning to look over his shoulder, the singer taunted, “You look like shit, by the way. I’ll put on some coffee for your hangover.” He sauntered out of the room completely unbothered by his near nakedness, leaving you to wonder - just how did the two of you fit on your tiny bed? 

A quick shower later, you left to find Kylo. He was effortlessly moving through the kitchen, and you smiled while plopping down at the table to watch. Just as you thought that romantic comedy moment might happen after all, Kylo appeared and set a bowl of cereal down next to a cup of black coffee. 

“Eat up, princess.”

You rolled your eyes in response, and Kylo scoffed. Placing a palm flat against the table, he leaned forward and pressed the index finger of his other hand against your nose. Lighting tapping the digit against the tip, he sternly scolded, “Hey. None of that attitude, princess. We still need to talk about why you got totally wasted last night. I woke up to a thousand messages from a rather pissed off PR team, thanks to you. _And_ I cleaned up the broken glass from your little show of defiance last night. So, you’re welcome.” 

Mouth full of Cheerios, you grumbled, “Nobody made you stay. I didn’t need you to take care of me.” 

Kylo’s eyes narrowed and he slowly lowered his hand. “You should have seen yourself last night. There was no way in hell I was letting you out of the house like that.” 

Still scooping spoonfuls of cereal into your mouth, you opted to turn away from the man. You sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him that you _like-liked_ him. Kylo, in turn, watched in awe as he silently counted how many times the spoon would pass between your lips before you decided to come up for air. 

Apparently you could fit four spoonfuls of Cheerios before chewing was necessary. 

“Jesus, you can really fill that mouth up.” 

Metal clanged against hardwood as you dropped the utensil in surprise before choking on milk. Sputtering against the back of your hand, you coughed up bits of cereal as Kylo clapped a hand against your back. Waiting until you settled down, Kylo gave you a smirk and teased, “Was it something I said?” 

Before you could respond, he left for the bathroom and shut the door soundly behind. Kylo would be the death of you. You were sure of it. 

Cheerios as an accomplice. What a way to go. 

Thankfully, that seemed to be the end of his teasing. You busied yourself with a short group text between Jyn and the Tico girls before Kylo reemerged showered and dressed in his clothing from the night before. 

He was toweling off his damp locks with you snorted, “Just make yourself right at home, why don’t you?” 

Kylo laughed and playfully tossed the towel over your head. You grimaced while swatting away the damp fabric and Kylo chortled, “You’d be lucky to have a roommate like me. I’m even going to take you out to lunch.”

It was pretty amazing how nonchalant Kylo could be about everything. Judging by the apathetic way the man was strolling down the street, you’d never have guessed that he had just spent the previous night sleeping alongside you. If he was thinking about the way his warm body was pressed flush against your own, it certainly wasn’t showing. 

Part of you was almost insulted, but you figured that if he could be an adult about it, you could too. After all, it wasn’t like you were living in the fifties. People could platonically share beds, right? Even if one of them was practically naked the entire time. Naked in all of his glory of flesh, sinew, and muscle. 

Kylo stopped in front of a small and uninspiring one story building. A singular door was flanked by two windows, one of which had a flickering neon sign that only read one word - “tacos”. You turned to face the man and joked, “ _Just_ tacos? I would have pegged you as someone who would appreciate finer dining.” 

For a split second, it seemed as if embarrassment clouded his face. Rubbing a hand along the back of his neck, he gritted out, “If it’s good food, it’s good food. But - uh - I could definitely take you somewhere nicer. I didn’t think that...”

You playfully slapped his arm and interrupted his sentence. “I’m just teasing you, Kylo. I love tacos!”

And boy were you telling the truth.

Kylo stared at you in only what one could describe as incredulous admiration. He rarely dined with others who weren’t Hux and Phasma, or his team. On the rare occasion he did go out, most women preferred to put on an air of delicate femininity. 

Apparently you were concerned with neither elegance nor docility. 

The moment Kylo mentioned that lunch was his treat, you set to work. Four tacos, a side of beans and rice, one large horchata, chips and guacamole, and two tamales later, the waitress paused with a stunned look before turning to Kylo for his order. 

“Uh, just the steak burrito, please. And an unsweetened iced tea.” 

You clapped both hands together and began to rub your palms together. Kylo’s eyes sparkled in mirth as he watched your excitement. It was almost disarming how...disarmed he felt around you. There was no pressure to put on any airs... especially while his dining partner was inhaling carnitas like her life depended on it.

Kylo watched on in amusement as you wasted no time in scooping a healthy serving of guacamole onto the tacos. Leaning forward ever so slightly, he whispered, “You do realize that there isn’t a time limit on how long we can eat, right?” 

“What do you mean?” 

The man pointed at your half-finished bowl of beans of before drawing attention to his untouched burrito. Smirking at the man, you reached over and cut off a corner of the dish with your fork. Popping the warm tortilla into your mouth you stuck you tongue out after swallowing. 

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Do you ever stop eating?” 

“I’m not going to apologize for not acting like one of those skinny models you like to date.”

He scowled at the idea that you probably saw the article on his exes. Kylo defensively retorted, “They’re not even real exes. Most of the photos were just publicity stunts anyways.” He hated this side of the industry - everyone playing a part and him feeling used and empty at the end of the day. He didn’t mind at first. It helped his “bad boy” image if the public had the impression that there was a steady rotation of women in his life. For the starlets, it allowed them to get their name out there while looking badass at the same time. 

“Oh. Like ‘Big Titz’, right?” 

Kylo flicked a bean across the table at your face. You dodged the flying legume while laughing. The man huffed in irritation, “I’m fucking over dating anyways. There’s no point in relationships.” 

“Oh... yeah. Me too. Fuck that.”

“Yeah.” 

You and Kylo avoided eye contact while pushing food around on your dishes. His fist clenched underneath the table, and he couldn’t help but feel like a total idiot. Always running his mouth before his brain could catch up to the consequences of his words. Of course he _meant_ that he was over unrewarding relationships that lacked depth and maturity. There was no way that he’d ever lump you into the category of “groupie”. You were so much more than that. 

But the moment had passed, and there was no way for him to backtrack without looking like a complete moron. His eyes snapped back to yours as you awkwardly cleared your throat. The conversation was gently steered towards discussing his newest album, and Kylo didn’t know whether to feel relief or frustration that you weren’t interested in dating.

* * *

Jyn lazily smacked her gun while flopping face up on your bed. Blowing some stray hairs out of her face, she turned to ask, “Alright, what’s up girl? Two 911 texts in a week?” You squeezed yourself next to the brunette, and forcibly willed the thought of how you slot in against Kylo when you could barely squeeze in with Jyn.

“Kylo doesn’t do relationships.” 

She turned onto her side and rolled her eyes. “He said that he doesn’t do relationships in general, or that he wouldn’t date _you_.” 

“In general. But he might as well have just said me. I mean, we shared a bed and went out to lunch afterwards, and he didn’t make any moves.” 

Jyn sat up and hugged your pillow. Reaching out to poke your nose, she scolded, “I warned you! Kylo has the emotional depth of a pea! He obviously has feelings for you. People don’t just ditch huge PR events to take care of a drunk girl...no offense.” 

“I mean, he could just be nice...”

Jyn scoffed and threw the pillow in your face. You squealed as it bounced off, and Jyn continued, “People don’t do shit like that ‘just to be nice’. He knows your schedule, walks you to work, and consistently makes himself available to you.”

“I don’t know Jyn. He’s a pretty confident guy. If he wanted us to be like _that_ , then I’m sure that he would have said something already.” 

Rolling her eyes, Jun punctuated her next sentence with more prods of her finger (now against your chest). “I told you. Emotional. Depth. Of. A. Pea.” 

Sighing dejectedly, you huffed, “I think we have a good thing going. It’s...it’s not worth risking it.” 

Jyn gave you a level look and sighed. She could always tell when your mind was made up, and once you did there was little she could do to convince you otherwise. Refusing to abandon her suspicions without a fight though, she quietly waited until you went to the kitchen for a refill on Oreos before striking.

Turning to hide her screen, she stealthily typed into her phone. 

_Jyn | 5:28 PM | Hey! If you’re still available, I have a single girl I could introduce you to. She’s exactly what you’re looking for._

A few minutes passed, and Jyn quietly plotted out her plan. There was a chance that the whole thing would blow up in her face, but the risk was worth it. Her phone quietly vibrated, and she looked down with a smirk.

_Cassian | 5:29 PM | Hell, yeah I’m down. Just tell me when and where._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have actually been head butted in my sleep before, and I still give my boyfriend shit for it four years later. I'm just that kind of woman. 
> 
> Also, I wonder what Jyn has up her sleeve? I love a good old fashioned meddling best friend. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and I'm honestly thrilled that you're loving my fic. Your comments are so sweet <3


	9. An Unexpected Player

Jyn shouldn’t love being such an instigator, but who was she kidding? The woman enjoyed meddling too much for her own good. Especially when she knew she was right. 

One could argue that the spirited brunette was a know-it-all, but she’d have to disagree. Because, quite frankly, when was she ever wrong? 

Nothing frustrated her more than when you short changed yourself. The world was already doing a great job of dealing the both of you shitty hands. The least you could do was stand up for yourself and grab life by the horns. Jyn knew that wouldn’t be happening though. Sure, most people saw a spitfire in you - always quick to throw words (and a few punches during the days of your youth), but only Jyn knew that it was a cover up. 

Because if you kept pushing people away, then there wouldn’t be any room for attachment. In your mind, it was easy enough for your own flesh and blood to give up on you. What’s stopping a boyfriend or even just a friend? 

Jyn knew that the only reason why the two of you stuck together was because you had proven your loyalty to one another. Both coming up out of messy pasts and navigating a difficult a present together meant that you shared a bond deeper than blood. 

But you couldn’t have Jyn forever. Besides, she’d make for a terrible girlfriend. A downright disastrous wife for sure.

So, the determined woman began to plot. Beginning with a seemingly inconsequential invitation to “hang out” on Friday night. Even you knew that was code for “lets get shit faced in my house”. Before you could reach into your little bag of excuses, Jyn laid in on thick - even not so subtly mentioning that you ditched your girlfriends in favor of snuggling up to Kylo Ren in bed. 

Eight o’ clock rolled by, and you stomped up three flights of stairs to Jyn’s rickety apartment. You were pretty sure that the entire buildling was on the brink of collapse. The place was a PSA on fire code violations, but at least it had character. Because who cared about safety if you were slum it with the cool kids of Brooklyn, yeah?

At least that was the case for Jyn’s hipster neighbors. The only reason why she lived there was because the landlord was willing to cut deals on rent if you paid cash under the table, so...

Jyn ecstatically opened the door and ignored your lack of enthusiasm when you shoved a bottle of wine into her hand and silently trudged into the studio. There were already a smattering of people - some perched on a sofa drinking, a few gathered by an open window smoking, and others sprawled on a couple of pillows on the floor. 

Your eyes zeroed in on the Tico sisters by the kitchenette, and you immediately made a beeline for the giggling women. Rose wrapped her arms around your waist for a hug, and Paige pressed a friendly kiss at your cheek. 

_Fine_ , maybe it wasn’t so bad to have friends after all. 

Jyn popped up by your side and nudged your hip with her own. The two of you shared a silent look before bursting into laughter. Finally, you relaxed into the party and began to let loose. While nursing a glass of wine, you heard the door knock and Jyn disappear to greet her newest guest. Rose also vanished for a while, but quickly reappeared with a familiar face in tow. 

She was wrapped in the arms of a taller man. You gave him a friendly wave and greeted, “Hey, Finn!” He returned with a wink before digging his chin into the space between Rose’s shoulder and throat. You wanted to be a good friend. You really did. 

But God was it hard to not let the ugly monster called “jealousy” rear up inside of you. 

It was clear that the couple was infatuated with one another. Finn looked at Rose as if she hung the stars in the sky. But their relationship was more than that. You thought back to that fateful winter a few years back. Everyone was heading Upstate to spend the weekend in a cabin together. Rushing up alone after being kept in the office, Rose’s car spun out and ended up wrecking on the street. Everyone had gathered in the hospital, fearing the worst. 

But not Finn. He was a pillar of strength and reason during the entire ordeal. 

He immediately stepped up. Finn coordinated sharing information between the doctors and Rose’s parents, and even gathered food and coffee for all of your friends huddled together in the emergency room. What was most touching though, was how he handled her recovery. 

For months, Finn was devoted to Rose’s rehabilitation. He was present for every checkup and physical therapy session. Almost every night was spent on the couch at the Tico’s, ensuring that he could be _right there_ when Rose needed him. The man never gave up on his girlfriend, and at the end of it all nobody doubted that the two would be together forever. 

Forever always seemed like a long time to you, though.

But the situation opened your eyes to a different aspect of relationships you had never considered before. Perhaps having a significant other wasn’t like having a babysitter. Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to let go and rely on someone else for a change. 

Like Kylo? 

You physically shook the intrusive thought from your head. It doesn’t mean anything that he brings you coffee, takes care of your drunk ass, stayed with you when you asked...

“Hello? Earth to dream girl?” Jyn waved a hand in front of your face. You blinked at her in surprise before pulling your lips up for a quick smile. 

“Sorry, got lost in thought for a second.” 

Feeling like something was up, Jyn quirked an eyebrow. Thankfully, she let it go and instead tugged a roguish gentleman to her side. He had rugged good looks, and looked as if he were dressed for adventure in a leather jacket and khaki pants. Jyn introduced, “This is my friend Cassian. He’s an author who’s in town to research his latest book.” 

“Oh my God! You’re _Cassian Andor!_ I love your writing!” You gushed, unsuccessfully trying to reign in your excitement. Although many weren’t sure what he looked like, everything knew his series ‘Rogue One’. The set of novels chronicled the exploits of an intelligence officer, and had been recently turned into a blockbuster hit. 

You had expected someone smug from his recent successes or at the very least quirky, but the man was neither. Warm and approachable, he wrapped his hand in yours for a shake and flashed you a friendly smile. 

Jyn smirked. “Cassian is setting his next book in Manhattan, and wants to do some research on living in the city. Apparently one of his newest characters is a spunky waitress by day, and kickass weapons specialist by night. I thought he could ask you some questions about your life for inspiration.” 

“Just between us, though. My editor would kill me if anything leaked,” the man teased with a wink. 

You enthusiastically nodded, and then proceeded to chastise yourself for acting like a total fangirl. If Cassian was aware of the fact though, he didn’t let it show as he reached behind you to grab a bottle of wine. 

“How about we get comfortable and I’ll ask you a few questions?” 

God, were you a bobblehead or what? Nodding along _yet again_ , you followed the man to the back of the living room away from the revelry. He topped your wine glass off before setting the bottle on the bookcase behind him.

Cassian took out a small Moleskine notebook and flipped it open to a blank page. He started with the basics - name, age, occupation, and some background on your grad studies. 

There was something about the man that put you at ease. Three glasses of wine in, you started to spill secrets even Rose and Paige didn’t know. 

Your difficulty with drugs and alcohol during college.

Subsequently being disowned by your family when they found a bag of ecstasy in your drawer.

Cleaning up your act and starting over during grad school.

Jyn’s support and understanding through the entire ordeal.

Cassian was an amazing listener who was excellent at asking questions that would lead to deeper discussions. Slowly, your story unraveled and the man was enraptured with your history. Slapping the book shut he murmured, “I have to know more. Can I get in touch later with any follow up questions? And I promise that everything will remain confidential. I can send over some paperwork from my lawyer to confirm?”

Nodding ( _for the millionth time_ ), you tipped back your glass of wine just as Jyn appeared. “Picture time! One day when Cassian makes you into a star, I want proof that I made the magic happen!” She shouted in glee.

Cassian grabbed your empty glass and set it on the bookcase alongside his own. Your cheeks bloomed in surprise as the man settled behind you while wrapping both arms around your waist. Jyn counted down and right before the shutter closed, Cassian pressed a playful kiss against your cheek.

Jyn squealed and shot you a wink before tugging the man away to chat with someone else. He shot you a “what can I do?” look with raised shoulders before disappearing.

You, on the other hand, remained rooted on the spot in confusion. That escalated quickly. Maybe that was normal for superstar authors? It wasn’t like he kissed you on the lips. And if Kylo could share a bed with you, then surely a kiss didn’t meant anything.

Damn these celebrities and their weird conceptions regarding physical intimacy. 

Speaking of the singer, he was across town clutching onto a beer with an iron grip while scrolling through his Instagram feed. Forced to schmooze at yet another event at his record label, the man was hiding in the back to avoid talking to executives. Besides, Hux was surprisingly a much better “people person”. At least when it came to business and making money.

Staring down at his screen, he looked at Jyn’s latest post. There you were - nestled into the chest of fucking Cassian Andor. 

Of course Kylo knew Cassian. God he hated that smug face. Almost as much as he hated Dameron. It was no surprise that the two would be friends. Kylo often ran into them at random functions, and the pair was just so damn likable. Everyone always gushed about how “down to earth” the two stars were. 

Kylo hated it.

And now that you were pulled snugly into the celebrity’s chest with his lips against your face, Kylo wanted to punch that grin off.

Underneath, Jyn’s caption read:

_So lucky to have two best friends like @cassianandorofficial and @futureMBAloser! Let’s get the party started #ihearweddingbells #weshipit #getaroom_

Something brushed against his shoulder, and Kylo flinched as Phasma peered over at the device. The tall blonde let out a low whistle and shook her head in amusement. Giving her friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder she cooed, “Oh poor, poor, Kylo Ren. Let her slip right through your fingers, eh?” 

“There was never any slipping to be had, Phas. We’re friends. She’s allowed to date other guys,” Kylo seethed in response. 

“You sure about that? Just friends? So you’re telling me that you’d skip a party to take care of Hux’s drunk ass?”

“That’s different! He’s..”

Phasma cut him off with a skeptical “mhm” because turning to leave while cackling in laughter. Kylo frowned and quickly sent a text message. 

_Kylo Ren | 9:46 PM | Hey! Are we still on for coffee Sunday morning?_

He fiddled with the phone while waiting for a response, hating how he’d somehow become _that_ guy. The sleek device pinged, and Kylo let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

_Princess | 9:47 PM | Of course! Last I checked, I still worked for that shitty 50’s diner._

_Princess | 9:48 PM | P.S. You just might be the best part of my day_

_Princess | 9:49 PM | But don’t let it get to your head ;)_

Kylo tilted his head backwards to lean against the wall. Sighing in relief, he closed his eyes for a moment. At least he still had coffee to look forward to. If you were really dating that asshole, then surely you wouldn’t still hang out with him one-on-one?

But it was the twenty-first century. Guys and girls could be friends even if they were in a relationship, right? Banging his head over and over against the wall, Kylo resisted the urge to do something idiotic like ask Phasma to ask Poe to ask Cassian what was up.

Holy shit, you were turning him into a fucking middle schooler. 

Tightly clutching onto his phone, he decided that he was done waiting around to see what would happen. He was done letting opportunities pass by because of his baggage. 

Come Sunday morning, he was going to grow a pair and _finally_ ask you out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! 
> 
> I hope that everyone is having a fantastic middle of the week, and that your holidays aren't too hectic or crazy. Up next, we'll be throwing a wrench into Kylo's plans ;) 
> 
> As always, thank you SO much for reading! Your comments and kudos are super yummy to me, and I can't get enough <3


	10. Useless Mouth

Kylo cursed underneath his breath as he rounded the corner towards your street. An unexpected phone call from the label left him running behind schedule, and he knew that you’d probably do something stupidly sweet like wait for him. After spending so much time together, Kylo was able to peel back the truth behind your demeanor. Despite your outwardly acidic and snappy disposition, there laid a rather thoughtful and kind woman.

Balancing two cups of hot coffee in his hands, the man suddenly skidded to a halt as he caught sight of your back. Even from halfway down the block, your bright rainbow colored knit scarf and matching beanie screamed against the stark winter haze. A smile pulled up at the corner of his lips, and he quickened his steps. 

Just as he called out your name though, his mouth turned downwards for a scowl. You whirled around to greet Kylo, and in that moment Cassian’s head popped out from behind you.

“Kylo! There you are!” You bounded over to the man and slipped your arms around his middle for a quick hug. The man couldn’t help but preen underneath your affection as he shot Cassian a look of disdain. Pressing a coffee in your direction, he ignored the warm feeling of your gloved fingers brushing against his own when you pulled the cup out of his grip. 

Smelling the warm fragrant coffee you squealed, “This is different! Cinnamon?” 

Kylo nodded and lifted his cup to take a sip of the warm liquid. Tilting his head towards Cassian, Kylo quirked a curious eyebrow. The author was out of earshot, politely waiting by the side while you greeted your friend. 

“I didn’t know that he was going to be here. I hope you’re not mad! He’s gathering inspiration for a new character, and apparently I’m just the girl he’s looking for. There was some miscommunication, though. Jyn told him my schedule, and I think he assumed that she would tell me he was tagging along today.” 

Kylo looked over at the shorter man and frowned. He didn’t need an audience while asking you out. He definitely didn’t want one in case you turned him down. Oh God, what if you turned down Kylo and Cassian wrote it in his novel? 

Attempting to put on his most nonchalant tone Kylo asked, “Is he also hanging out with you at work?” 

You stuffed a free hand into your pocket and shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, as long as he buys food its not like he can’t write there. Besides, he said that he just wanted to ‘observe’ me, whatever that means.” 

“What a coincidence. I was going to do some work at the diner, too.” Kylo scowled behind your shoulder. If Cassian was going to be a cockblock, Kylo could at least keep an eye on the smarmy motherfucker.

You looked between both men and stuttered, “O..oh...kay...”

Who knew that twenty minutes could feel so long? The tension and awkwardness that permeated the walk was more uncomfortable than Thanksgiving dinner with your recently divorced aunt and uncle.

Especially with your uncle’s new wife there. 

You know, the one fifteen years his junior? Who also happened to be his T.A.? The girl who insisted your uncle feed her by hand during the _entire_ meal while sitting on his lap? Yeah, that one.

Shivering from some unknown force, you continued to walk in silence before you couldn’t take it anymore. Turning towards Cassian you politely inquired, “So, how’s the new character coming along? If she’s based on me, she must be pretty kick-ass.” You winked, in what you hoped was more playful and less flirty. 

Cassian tilted his head back and returned with a lighthearted laugh. “Absolutely. Sometimes the strongest characters are found in the most ordinary of places. Jyn wasn’t lying when she said you were a little ball of fire...”

Pausing to give you a little wink of his own he continued, “And I must admit that I have a deep appreciation for fiery women.” 

Your cheeks bloomed in an uncharacteristic blush that didn’t go unnoticed by Kylo. He rolled his eyes at Cassian and gave a rude snort, causing the shorter man to lean over. “What was that, Kylo? You’ll have to forgive me. Unlike you, I have trouble communicating via grunt and hiss.” 

Kylo whirled around and you snickered at his incredulous expression. Placing a light hand against his back, you felt the corded muscles relax against your touch. The two men would definitely need to be seated separately. 

If you thought that your commute was uncomfortable, your shift was another story all together. Cassian sat himself at the bar, eagle eyes trailing behind as you moved around the diner. The man would watch your every move before furiously scribbling something down in his Moleskine. 

Meanwhile, Kylo was seated clear across the diner giving Cassian a hard stare down. Shooting daggers with his eyes across the room, Kylo pouted and shifted uncomfortably while chugging black coffee. 

In fact, the entire ordeal was getting so out of hand that your manager ended up pulling you aside. “Jim” tugged you into the kitchen and hissed, “Look, I don’t know what you have to do with the silent showdown between Cassian Andor and Kylo Ren, but customers are starting to freak. You need to go out there and tell your friends to calm the fuck down. I do _not_ want to get on the news for kicking out _two_ superstars.” 

Your feet slid across linoleum as Jim unceremoniously pushed you out onto the floor. Deciding that you’d have better luck with Kylo, you cautiously approached his booth. Sliding across from him, you perched your chin between folded hands and carefully considered the man in front of you. 

“What?” Kylo dryly spat.

“What’s your problem with Cassian?” 

“I don’t have a fucking problem with Cassian.” 

Leaning back against the padded booth, you rubbed a tired hand across your forehead. Reaching over to pluck some berries off of Kylo’s waffle you replied, “Dunno. Judging by the way you’ve been giving him the stink eye all morning, I’m surprised that you’re writing music and not making a voodoo doll of the man.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and ignored your statement as he returned to cutting up his breakfast. Sighing, you continued, “Look, the guy’s just hanging around me for his job. You don’t have to get all huffy about it. I’m not even going to see him again until Poe’s party.” 

Slamming his fork down onto the table, Kylo exclaimed, “Why the fuck are you going to Poe’s party?”

“Excuse me? Why don’t you back the fuck up and try that again?” 

Folding his arms across his chest, Kylo clicked his tongue and turned away to look out the window. Muttering underneath his breath, he rolled his eyes like a petulant child. The brooding singer finally seethed, “I didn’t know that you were going to Poe’s party.” 

“I didn’t know that you cared.”

You watched in silence as Kylo used the back of his fork to press a raspberry against his plate. The fruit bubbled through the prongs, and Kylo huffed, “I mean, I could take you. It’s a bit cold to be biking into Manhattan.” 

“Kylo, you hate parties. And the one thing you hate more than parties is Poe Dameron.”

“I don’t hate _you_.”

You tilted your head to the side and lifted a single brow. Refusing to meet your gaze, Kylo began to spoon fresh fruit into his mouth as if it were the last thing he’d ever eat. Your lip twitched into a soft grin as you relented. 

“Fine. Pick me up at eight?” 

And so he did. You finished stuffing a small handbag with some cash before the last ring of your doorbell could sound. Throwing open the front door of your apartment, you cheesed at the sight of Kylo’s rumpled hair, beaten in leather jacket, and skin hugging black jeans. 

“Hey!” You cheered at the sight of the man. 

Kylo sighed a breathy, “Hey, yourself.” 

Your body was sheathed in a figure hugging sequined number. A sharp drop at the neck lead his eyes down your chest, and Kylo drank in the sight of all the different ways your skin came out to play. Despite a short hem, the piece featured a long slit at the side, allowing the supple skin of your thigh to peek out.

His eyes snapped up as the back of your clutch whacked him across the head. 

“Eyes up here, boy scout.” 

Kylo shot you a sheepish grin before placing a bold hand by the small of your back. A short cab ride later, you were ushered into the massive penthouse of Poe Dameron. Jyn was right by the door ready to intercept you as she sloppily threw her arms around your neck. Hitching a leg up at your waist, the drunken woman squealed, “My best friend is _so_ fuckin’ hot!” Gripping onto your cheeks with both hands, she pressed a dry kiss against your lips and then reached around for another soul crushing hug. 

Kylo rolled his eyes as Jyn mouthed “ _jealous?_ ” towards the rockstar. 

You finally broke from your best friend’s grip, and Kylo’s arm was immediately around your waist. Turning in surprise, your curiosity was satisfied as Cassian appeared by your side with a few shot glasses. The author raised an eyebrow at Kylo’s defensive stance, but made no comment on the matter. 

Jyn, on the other hand, was more than happy to slap Kylo’s hand away. “Don’t be a sourpuss, Kylo Ren! It’s a party! Let her _fly_!” Apparently “fly” was a synonym for “get shit-faced drunk”, because next thing you knew, your body was pressed up against Jyn’s as she ground against your body. 

Swaying to and fro, you didn’t think much when your ass made contact with another warm figure. Strong hands reached around to grip your hips while you continued to move in time with sultry bass pounding out of Poe’s sound system. Turning your head slightly, a warm puff of air slid across your neck as a familiar face tucked itself into your shoulder.

Eyes fluttering upwards, you gasped in shock as Cassian looked back down at you with a smirk. 

This was just dancing, right? Nothing to it. Just some friendly physical contact. 

Apparently not to Kylo Ren, though. The man seemed to have a fantastic intuition and affinity for appearing out of nowhere in the middle of parties. Fiercely inserting himself in front of you, Kylo puffed his chest out and pushed Cassian back. A small circle of partygoers immediately shifted backwards to clear some space for the clearly agitated singer. 

Cassian threw both hands up and shouted, “What’s your problem, dude?” 

Jaw flexing, Kylo kept one arm behind him as he pushed you backwards while the other aggressively shoved the author in the chest. “Get your filthy fucking hands off of her.” Cassian immediately stepped forward and laughed right in Kylo’s face. “She certainly wasn’t complaining about my _filthy fucking hands_ ,” Cassian sniggered. 

Quick as lightning, Kylo’s fist flew through the air and hit the author square in the jaw. Blood gushed from his nose, and you screamed in horror. Just as quickly, your feet left the earth as Kylo hauled you up into the air and over his shoulder. Pounding your fists against his back you screeched, “Let me down! Holy shit you’re fucking crazy! Let me go!” 

Your flurry of fists and shouting were met with deaf ears as Kylo navigated through Poe’s home. Thankfully, Kylo had been in the house before and he quickly found a private bathroom situated in the back of the penthouse. Slamming the door shut behind him, Kylo finally set you down. 

Furry flooding your senses, you instantly rounded on the man and slapped him across the face. You immediately moved to push against his chest, but Kylo was quicker. Despite his tight grip on your wrists, you continued to flail in anger. Your voice hitched in volume as you cried out, “Fuck you and your fucking anger issues. You can’t control me, Kylo. You have no right!” 

His brow furrowed and he pulled you against his chest. Tightly stuck between his arms and torso, your feeble attempts at hitting Kylo slowed. Pressing his nose into your hair he whispered, “I’m sorry I lost control.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay.” 

Kylo sighed and slowly let you go. Brushing his hair back, he murmured, “I know. I’m a total screw up. All I do is fuck up anything good in my life.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

Kylo flinched backwards in surprise. “What the fuck? I’m pretty sure that this is point where you think I’m sexy and tell me all is forgiven?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You _punched_ Cassian in the fucking _face_!”

“Oh. Yeah, well...”

You groaned in exasperation and threw your hands up in the air. “Kylo. Punching someone isn’t a romantic gesture. It’s just grounds for an assault charge and all of your friends thinking you’re psycho.”

Pacing the floor, your mind raced as you thought about the consequences of his actions. Would Jyn lose her job? Would someone call the cops on Kylo? What about Cassian’s _face_?

“Cassian’s a fucking idiot. You could do better than some fuckin’ loser like him.”

Sarcasm and contempt dripped from your lips as you hissed, “Yeah? Like who? Tell me Kylo, since it seems like you know _so_ much about who I should and should not date.”

Kylo paused for a moment before he quietly breathed, “I sure as hell would be a better choice.”

“What?”

Kylo began to toe at the rug underneath his feet at a complete loss for words. Gradually pivoting on your heels, you turned to face Kylo. You repeated yourself again, “What did you say?” 

Slamming a fist against the doorframe, Kylo shouted, “God you’re so fucking infuriating.”

“ _Me_? You’re the one who doesn’t know the first thing about communication!”

At this point you were face-to-face with the man as you both continued to sling verbal assaults at one another. 

“Communication? And what is that slutty little dress of yours communicating? Bet you liked Cassian feeling you up underneath that thing.” 

“You’d be so lucky!” 

“Goddamn you’re so fucking annoying!” Kylo roared before he was suddenly pressing your body against the wall. Dipping his head down, his lips crashed against yours as a free hand wrapped around your neck. An unbridled moan escaped your mouth as you deepened the kiss. His chest felt like a brick wall as he continued to smother you with the weight of his massive frame. 

“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop. Tell me you don’t want this, _princess_.”

“Fuck you, Kylo!” You hissed before jumping up and into his arms. He easily lifted you up and around to set up on the counter. Legs still wrapped around the man, you continued to deepen the kiss as he fumbled with the zipper of your dress. Hands shaking from anticipation, he continued to miss the small pull. 

Breaking the kiss, you sneered, “What’s wrong, kid? Never taken a dress off of a woman before?” Kylo roared and forcefully pulled you off the counter. Spinning your body around, he yanked the metal so hard it tore away. Sequins popped off and scattered all over the sink and ground before the fabric was hastily shed and you were left naked with a torn dress pooled around your feet. 

“Fuck. Didn’t even have any underwear on underneath that slutty dress.”

You hissed when your tits met cold marble as Kylo shoved your torso down against the counter. Face turned to the side, he had one wide palm pressed against your face as the other began to toy with your dripping pussy. A single finger lazily trailed just outside of your slit. His lips latched onto the side of your throat as he suckled a bruise into your skin. 

Feeling like you were about spit another insult, Kylo immediately shoved a thumb into your mouth as soon as your lips parted. His mouth trailed warm heat up to your ear as he murmured, “Shut up. Shut the fuck up. The only sounds coming out of that filthy fuckin’ mouth of yours will be moans.” 

With that, he plunged a thick finger into your canal and you choked from the sudden intrusion. Your months of banter and back-and-forth was the build up, and as tension broke you frantically sought each other’s bodies for release. 

Pumping his finger in and out, he soon added a second as the man stretched you out. You gasped at the sound of his belt clinking, and the soft rustle of fabric sliding down his thighs. Your cunt was positively gushing at the sound of him using your slick to pump up and down his shaft with his hands. 

“Fuck. FUCK. I don’t have a condom!” Kylo shouted. 

Closing your eyes for a moment, you whispered, “I’m clean with the IUD. If you’re clean too...”

You looked into the mirror at Kylo’s face as his anger shifted into a smirk. “That’s the best thing that’s come out of your mouth all day.” 

With no preamble at all, the man was seated inside of your pussy. A guttural moan sounded as you clenched around him. One wide hand came down to grip both of your wrists, and he lifted your hands up above your head to rest against the mirror. 

“Look at yourself. Fuckin’ whore running your mouth at me all the goddamn time. Don’t have much to say now that you’re getting dicked down in the bathroom.”

He continued to thrust into you at a punishing pace, each thrust serving to release months of unresolved tension. His other hand slipped downwards, first trailing over your breasts before sliding down towards your clit. Expertly rubbing the bundle of nerves he hissed, “You talk a big game, but I can still reduce you to a whimpering mess. Feel how wet you get for me?” 

“Your dick’s not that special.”

Kylo snarled and released your wrists to push you back down against the counter. Flattening your back with his forearm, he curved over your body as his other hand served as a vise around your hip. Slamming into your cunt, his thighs slapped against your ass as he served you the most brutal fucking of your life. 

You couldn’t control the lewd moans and Kylo jeered in response. “Your little moans say otherwise.” 

“Fuck, Kylo. Fuck!” 

His fingers worked your clit faster as Kylo cheered into your ear, “That’s right. Cum on my fuckin’ cock. You and I both know that this is the best dick you’ll ever get.”

“Please. More! Just a little...inside...inside please...” 

“Fuck, you beg so pretty. Your slutty little mouth _can_ do more than just sling insults at me.”

Both hands now hugging your hips, he continued to pound into you as you soared higher and higher towards the brink of ecstasy. Finally, your vision shattered as wave after wave of pleasure overcame your senses. Legs buckling, you sighed as Kylo lifted you up and chased your bliss with release of his own. 

Snapping into you one last time, his eyes rolled back as his cum seeped into the narrow channel of your womanhood. Painting your walls with spurts of warmth, Kylo let out a feral moan while his hands scrambled to pull you closer to his body.

Catching your breath together, Kylo let our a shaky chuckle as he carefully slipped from your abused cunt. A warm trickle of spend escaped down your thigh, and you gasped in surprise as Kylo kneeled down to take a look at where your fluids combined. 

Glancing up at you with wide brown eyes, he smirked, “There’s no way I’m not fucking you again. You're fucking _mine_.”

Collapsing against the counter, you leaned a head back against the cool mirror and sighed. What have you gotten yourself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Here's a little smut to ring in 2019, eh? Thank you SO much for your patience while I got this chapter out. And of course a HUGE thank you to everyone who leaves comments and kudos. They really gave me the steam to keep pushing through even when real life gets in the way. 
> 
> Sending ya'll lots of love!


	11. The Page Turns

If you had one gripe with mother nature, it would probably be with the sun. Sure, the raging ball of fire was probably useful for one thing or another, but you hated its timing when it came to waking up. Especially if the blinding light assaulted your vision first thing in the morning.

Groaning underneath unfamiliar covers, you shifted to stretch and immediately felt sticky soreness between your legs. Flying up from between the sheets, you sat up in alarm as last night’s shenanigans came flooding back to you.

Right after giving you the best fucking of your life, Kylo gingerly helped you into his leather jacket. The zipper was ripped clean off the dress, leaving the sequined fabric useless as the top half pooled by your waist. You remembered clutching onto the skirt with one hand while Kylo sneaked the two of you out Poe’s penthouse. 

A cab ride later, you were riding something entirely different in Kylo’s bed. Surrounded by the haze of arousal, you fucked him again well into the night before finally collapsing in a heap of orgasms and sweat. 

The sound of a throat clearing brought your eyes over to the door. Kylo nonchalantly leaned against the frame with his arms crossed as he studied the sight of your naked form. A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth - he could definitely get used to the view.

“Good morning, princess.” Whether his voice was coarse from lack of use or as the result of moaning too loudly the previous night was up for debate.

Instinctively pulling the silk fabric up your torso, you hid your nakedness in a panic. Kylo’s eyes narrowed at the movement, and he immediately growled while stalking over to the bed. Caging your body in with his own, he leaned down and licked a thick stripe up the column of your neck. 

He snarled, “Don’t you fucking _dare_. Last night was not a mistake, so don’t act like it was.”

You shoved the man off of you in a huff and seethed, “You really want me to believe that Kylo Ren, playboy extraordinaire, is _boyfriend_ material?”

“You don’t have to put a label on it as long as you know that you’re mine.” 

“What’s your fucking deal, dude? You can’t _have_ people.” Your voice slowly trailed off, but not before you tacked on a snarky “fucking idiot” at the end. 

Kylo rolled his eyes and lurched forward to wrap you up in his arms. Tugging your back against his chest, he captured you in his iron grip as you squealed in surprise. Gently chomping by your ear he groaned, “Fine. Whatever way you want to put it, I just want to be with you. I can’t...I can’t _share_ though. And I want you, so fucking bad. Like Jesus fucking Christ, I want you so bad.”

Squirming out of his grip, you rolled over to face the man and teased, “You really have a way with words. That Grammy was well deserved.”

He laughed and tickled your sides, relishing in the soft trill of your giggles. Kylo finally relented after a particularly sharp jab in his rip and rolled onto his back. Tossing a palm over his eyes his voice became softer. “Look, I know my reputation. And I know that I can be a total jackass. But is being my girlfriend so unfathomable that you won’t even give it a chance? Is it really too much to ask you to even _try_?” 

Flopping over onto your back, you laced your fingers at your stomach and mulled over the idea. “I don’t think I’d be a good girlfriend. I don’t know how people would feel if the great Kylo Ren was dating a student slash waitress combo with a shitty temper.”

“Who the fuck cares?” 

You snorted in response.

Resting his weight on his elbows, Kylo rolled over on top of you body. “You heard me. Who the fuck cares? All I know is that I really fuckin’ like you, and I want to be with you. Who cares what people think? I’m pretty sure you friends won’t be too thrilled that you’re dating someone famous for throwing furniture into walls.” He leaned a forehead against your own and pressed a chaste kiss against your lips.

Closing your eyes you sighed, “So we’re really going to do this then?”

“Hell, yeah.” 

“Well, Kylo Ren, I guess you have a girlfriend.”

* * *

Jyn took a deep gulp of coffee. She gave you a blank stare as her throat bobbed with each swallow. Wildly waving a hand in the air you screeched, “Hello? Did you hear me?” She continued to stare at you in silence before her façade cracked and the woman burst into laughter. 

“About fucking time,” she guffawed. 

Your eyes narrowed in suspicion as Jyn continued to laugh. Thankfully the two of you were tucked away in a hidden corner of your favorite coffee shop, which meant you could safely slap your friend across the shoulder.

“What’s going on Jyn?”

She casually began to whistle while looking around the room in faux innocence. 

“Jyn Erso, I swear to fucking God if you don’t...”

Throwing her arms up she howled, “Fine! Fine! Phamsa and I may or may not have been in cahoots...”

She gulped and continued, “It was out of love! You know how much you mean to me, and Phasma really cares about Kylo, and...”

“Just tell me what the fuck you did.”

“Okay, so maybe Phasma encouraged Poe to get cozy with you at the after party. And Cassian legit wants to model his new character after you but... I might have called in a favor and asked him to help me annoy the shit out of Kylo.”

“Jyn! Why would you even...”

She rolled her eyes and chewed on the end of her coffee stirrer. Still holding the plastic between her lips she sighed, “Because Kylo’s a fucking Neanderthal who would never come to terms with his feelings for you unless he was forced into facing them. And no offense, but you’re pretty useless with addressing your own emotions, too.”

You crossed your arms and huffed, unwilling to concede to Jyn’s sentiments. The woman leaned forward and snorted, “By the way, I owe Cassian about a thousand favors now. Kylo almost broke his nose.”

Your forehead hit the table as you groaned into the wood. Jyn’s muffled laughter could be heard over the coffee shop chatter. She patted you on the head and comforted, “It’s okay. He said that it gave him great inspiration for his book. I’ll never understand the man!”

It was difficult to wrap your head around the situation. Aside from that fact that the idea of you even being a girlfriend was almost impossible to fathom, your boyfriend was a rockstar on top of everything. 

You didn’t even know where to begin. What did girlfriends do anyways? Should you send him a greeting card or something? Aren’t girlfriends supposed to be sweet, cute, and whatever other adjective that definitely did not describe you whatsoever. 

“Hey. Stop that. Right now.” Jyn’s voice cut through your mental dialogue. Nudging your chin with the tip of her finger, she gave you a serious stare. “I know that look. Your brain is being dumb and overthinking things. I think you guys are great together because you’re both unapologetically yourselves. There were never any pretenses when you first got to know each other.” 

Your phone suddenly danced across the table as a text message came in. Giving Jyn a smile and an eye roll, you reached over to read it. 

_Kylo Ren | 2:07 PM | So, this is a little after the fact, but do you want to go out with me?_

_Kylo Ren | 2:08 PM | Shit, that sounded less lame in my head. I mean, I know that we’re together and we hang out, but I want to take you out like, officially. As my girlfriend? Girlfriend. Uhm, I know that you’re tired from school and work and shit, so I could make you something at my place? Or we can just get take out and fool around on the couch. Whatever you want, princess. I’ll even rub your feet while we watch a stupid romcom if you want._

_Kylo Ren | 2:09 PM | But I’m not fucking cheap, okay? Because I can totally take you out somewhere fucking nice. Not that my house isn’t nice. I just wanted to let you know that I could and I will. But I’m trying to be thoughtful since you kept bitching about your feet and those stupid stilettos you keep trying to wear._

_Kylo Ren | 2:10 PM | Fuck, I sound like an idiot. Can you please put me out of my misery and text me back soon and let me know?_

You stifled a giggle underneath your breath and felt an unfamiliar warmth spread in your chest. Perhaps Jyn had a point after all. Despite whatever impressions the world had regarding Kylo and yourself, the two of you never saw each other that way.

To your parents, you were a colossal failure. At work you were seen as a half-hearted waitress lacking ambition. To your advisor, you were a mediocre student doing the minimum to graduate. . 

To the media, Kylo Ren was out of control. To fans, he was a sex symbol. To his label, he was a money making machine. 

But the world didn’t have the privilege of seeing him the way you did. He was the man who basically texted essays like a goddamn grandpa. Kylo was the guy who turned down a major press event in favor of caring for you in a moment of weakness. He did stupidly, mind-boggling, ridiculously sweet things like bring you coffees every morning just because it made you happy. 

All that you had left to wonder was - how did Kylo Ren see you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you read both of my ongoing fics, this was some much needed fluff since Kylo's life is a fucking mess in Between Astoria & 29th, lol. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter we'll start digging into whether or not Kylo can be boyfriend material ;) See you soon!


	12. The Hammer Falls

Swiping a bottle of mediocre wine off the bottom shelf from Trader Joe’s, you wondered what your first “official” date with Kylo Ren would entail. If you had been a different woman, you might have felt compelled to impress the man. But you were, well, _you_. Kylo knew exactly what he was getting himself into. Tonight, that was a $9.99 bottle of wine and your body clad in ripped jeans and a sweater with cracked lettering that read “Redland Hills Varsity Track ’07”.

You didn’t even know where “Redland Hills” was. The sweater had somehow gotten mixed into your things between roommates halfway through undergrad. 

When Kylo opened his front door, you were relieved to see the man dressed down in jeans and a black t-shirt. Perhaps that was a perk of being so unapologetically transparent from the onset of knowing each other. It seemed as if the two of you had skipped over the part of new relationships where people still put on pretenses for one another.

Apparently you were in the “sweatpants and three-day-old hair” phase already.

Sweeping his arm out, Kylo winked as he joked, “Welcome to my humble abode.” Rolling your eyes, you thrust the bottle of wine into his outstretched hand and ignored the man as he feigned surprise. “For me? Really? You didn’t have to!” He gasped in a mock flattered tone.

Despite his teasing and relaxed attire, the man had gone all out for dinner. Kylo had hand-rolled pasta and even taken the time to make sauce from scratch. The man even baked his own tiramisu for the occasion. Kylo Ren did not fuck around in the kitchen. 

But he wasn’t opposed to fucking around in the dining room. 

Because somehow after your third glass of wine and second slice of cake, Kylo was balls deep in your pussy as you clung onto the edge of the mahogany table face down. The rhythmic slapping of his thighs against your hips was punctuated by deep growls and moans. His fingers were spread open against your hip, claws digging into your flesh. Kylo’s other hand was laced into your hair - long locks wrapped around his palm twice as he tugged your head backwards. 

“Fuck, this pussy is good. So fucking tight like a vice. God, I love watching your cunt gobble up my dick,” he moaned. His grip on your ass suddenly tightened when he noticed that your shaking wasn’t from pleasure, but rather _laughter_. 

“What?” Kylo barked in anger, hips still not letting up in tempo. He was now pressing into you with punishing force, dick hitting you in spots that left stars in your vision.

Biting back a moan, you clasped a firm hand over your mouth. Kylo continued to fuck you into the table as he ripped your palm away. “Got something on your mind, princess? Why don’t you share with the class?” He growled. 

You clenched at the idea of _Professor Ren_ , and sudden your pussy was fluttering around his cock. A strangled moan escaped from your throat as your sudden orgasm took yourself and Kylo by surprise. Clutching onto your body, he threw himself forward as his chest crashed against your back. Pumping into you, he savored the feeling of his cock being milked dry as he came with a ferocious cry. 

Laying a cheek against the back of your neck, Kylo huffed in pleasure and frustration. His cock remained inside of your used passage, and you relished in the fullness that came with it. Kylo pressed languid kisses up and down your neck and your shoulders for a minute before finally pulling out.

He effortlessly looped an arm under your knees while the other wrapped around your hip. Pulling you up against his chest, he made his way to the master bath. Hazy from your orgasm, you lazily watched from the counter where Kylo had seated you. The man silently moved around the space, filling a tub with warm water and scented oils. He ran a hand through the water, fingers cutting through the surface as oils trailed behind.

Finally satisfied with the temperature, Kylo picked you up again and gingerly lowered you into the water. He shifted your limbs around as if you were a rag doll, and then slowly slid himself into the tub to face you. Pulling one of your legs up so your ankle rested at his thigh, Kylo began to carefully knead the skin around your heels. 

“So, what was so funny that you couldn’t hold it in while we were fucking?” 

You bit the bottom of your lip, still trying to hold in laughter. Kylo gave you a dull stare, and you finally relented. Trailing a wet finger up and down his calf you replied, “Trust me, the sex is mind blowing, but... ‘gobbling up your dick’? Come on, that’s pretty fucking funny.” 

Kylo groaned and rolled his eyes. His fingers were now deftly working up and down your shin. “It’s sex. People just say shit sometimes!”

You chucked at his defensiveness. Who knew that Kylo Ren could be _cute_? “I know! You can say whatever the fuck you want to me. Make me call you _daddy_ , I don’t care. It just happened in the moment. I wasn’t laughing _at_ you. Just the situation.”

Kylo ignored the twitch of his dick at the sound of “daddy” falling from you lips. He grumbled something incoherent instead, while a smile still tugged at the corner of his lips. Lifting your foot out of the water, he began to kiss the wet skin up and down in a line. You tugged your foot out of his grasp, and shifted in the tub so you were on your knees. Leaning forward so your body was pressed atop Kylo’s expansive chest, you pressed a finger lightly underneath his chin. 

Lifting his head up to meet you eyes, you murmured, “How about this - I’ll show you what else I can use to ‘gobble up’ your dick.” Tugging his hand up and out of the water, you wrapped your lips around the tip of his thumb. Even the slightest bit of pressure against the digit was enough to rile the man up.

A playful glimmer lit up in Kylo’s eyes and he raced to unplug the tub. Climbing out of the bath, he didn’t even wait for you to towel off before you were draped over his shoulder like a sack of flour. The man practically ran to the bed with you giggling the the entire way there.

* * *

As much as you would vehemently assert that you weren’t like _regular_ girls, you would have to reluctantly admit to the fact that Kylo Ren gave you butterflies. So much so, that your budding romantic relationship seemed to cast a haze over your life. In fact, Kylo’s ease around you could almost fool one into thinking that you were just a typical couple moseying about Brooklyn.

You know, the disgustingly annoying ones that enjoyed things like eating farm-to-table, vinyl records, hunting for vintage goods at the flea market, and other hipster bullshit. It was _nice_ , though. Because now that Kylo Ren knew you were his, he had no qualms about acting on his feelings.

And boy, did that man have feelings. 

It was a wonder that the two you haven’t been slapped with a public indecency charge. While waiting in line at Key Food Supermarket, the man was pawing at your ass like it held the meaning to life. Kylo insisted on sitting next to you while eating out, taking advantage of the situation to drape his arm around your shoulder and tug you into his side. Never mind that the action forced the right-handed man to awkwardly eat with his left. He trailed after you whenever he could, brown eyes like wide pools offering you a swim in unabashed affection. 

Nobody had ever giving you attention like this before. Not even your own parents could have been bothered to spare more than a few words during dinner. Suddenly, all Kylo ever wanted to do was lavish you with adoration. He ate up any tidbit of information regarding your life both past, present, and future like a starved man facing a feast. 

Everything seemed perfect - as perfect as two imperfect individuals melding their lives together could be. At least, until the ramifications of dating Kylo Ren, Grammy winning rockstar, smacked you right in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter was inspired in part by a conversation I had with a few girlfriends regarding how "unsexy" sex can be sometimes. For example, if a partner decides to say "gobble gobble" before you blow him, lol. I didn't think Kylo would say something _that_ ridiculous, so you get what you got, haha. 
> 
> This was a shorter chapter because I wanted to move the story along by introducing some minor-ish conflict, and it was getting way too long. I've already gotten halfway through the next chapters for MY and BA&29 so hopefully we'll get some more updates soon! My IRL boyfriend is in town though, so I might get caught up with that. Apologizes in advance if I'm actually a total liar and nothing gets out by the end of the week. Either way, we'll get an update on both fics pretty close together. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. 
> 
> Thank you all for your continual support!!! Every time ya'll comment or press that kudos button, my heart just soars outta my chest! LOVE YOU ALL <3


	13. Stoking The Fire

Dropping you off at work, Kylo gave you a quick kiss on the lips and squeezed your ass twice for good measure. Since the two of you became “official”, you had decided to bid your farewells in the alley behind the diner, as opposed to your usual spot by the entrance. Sure, it wasn’t sexy. But it was private. And private was something that mattered to you. 

Although you had a meeting with your advisor right after the morning shift, Kylo insisted that you come over to his place for dinner. He never commented on your hectic schedule, but with the way he’d huff and puff, you knew the hours your kept bothered the man. Still, at least he’d allow you the dignity of running yourself to the ground without an “I told you so”.

Tugging the strap of your apron tightly around your poodle skirt, you stepped into a full-house. Sighing at the sight, you frowned at the thought that it would be one of _those_ days - full of demanding teens, kitchen slammed, and a very frazzled manager. 

Clocking in, you waved at one of the line cooks and chirped, “Hey, Edgar! Busy morning already?” The man wiped sweat off his brow and brought two fingers and a thumb up to his temple for a mock shooting motion. Laughing at his dramatics, you swiped an order pad out of a drawer and headed over to your section. 

Five giggling girls no older than sixteen were huddled around the booth. Whispering behind menus, their eyes widened when they caught sight of you standing by the table.

“Hello ladies! Welcome to Ma n’ Pa’s. Can I interest anyone in our new decadent chocolate cake shake?” 

The girls burst out into giggles again, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. It didn’t seem as if they were laughing _at_ you. They were just being rowdy and all around giddy for some reason. Finally, one of the girls piped up. “We’ll take five milkshakes!” 

_Jesus_. Sure, you recommended the beverages. But only because Jim, your manager, had an aneurysm every time you went off script. But seriously? Five milkshakes before 10 A.M.? Ah, to have the metabolism of a high schooler again.

Still maintaining your “retail voice”, you sang in a faux cheerful pitch, “Sure thing! I’ll be right back!” You returned, milkshakes in tow, to more giggling and whispering from the group. Setting down the drinks, you moved to leave when one of the girls spoke up.

“Uhm, excuse meeeee...” Her voice pitched up in an annoying fashion at the end. Breathing out through your nose, you closed your eyes for a second before whirling around with a fake smile plastered on your face.

“Yes, sweetie?”

More shrill giggling and murmuring. Finally, one brave brunette leaned forward and shyly asked, “Are you Kylo Ren’s girlfriend?” 

“Excuse me?” 

The same girl lowered her voice to a whisper. “Carly saw you two kissing in front of the diner last week. I can’t believe how cool Kylo is! Dating a _normal_ girl! He always seemed so down to earth in his interviews!” 

“What? I don’t think...” You lamely sputtered, shock clouding any rational thought.

“It’s okay! We won’t tell! Its so cool. We can totally see it. Dating a _regular_ girl on the side. A _waitress!_ That’s so...like...anti-mainstream.” The girls burst in a chorus of agreement before resuming their tittering. 

You lamely excused yourself and quickly scurried to the back, begging another waitress to take over the booth en route. Gathering yourself together while cleaning some menus, you shook off the angry coil of nerves settling deep within your stomach. They were just a bunch of high schoolers. It’s not like some girlish gossip would really affect your life. Right? 

It came as a subtle wave though - the consequences of ignoring your gut cresting into full blown hysteria one afternoon as hordes of assorted individuals filled the diner. Lining up outside, inside, and if they could you swore they’d wait on the goddamn roof, were fans clamoring to catch sight of the infamous rockstars’s “totally vanilla normie fuck of the month”. At least that’s the gracious title you heard one particular patron use.

It finally all came to a head when Jim pushed you into his office. With little fanfare, you were fired on the spot. Balling up your apron, you angrily threw the polyester fabric at his feet and threw some choice expletives at the man. It’s not like you particularly enjoyed the job, but you had bills to pay damnit! 

Slamming through the door, you gracelessly shoved past the crowd, tossing a few “fuck you’s” to people trying to grab your attention. Stumbling onto the street, you practically ran home in frustration and anger. Fingers shaking, you fumbled with your cellphone to call Kylo when the man appeared in front of you like an act of magic. 

“Whoa, princess! What’s wrong?” He gasped as he gripped onto your shoulders. His brows were knit in concern and confusion as he took in your upset demeanor and hazy red eyes. 

“What...what are you doing here?” 

“I was on my way to see you at work!” 

“You can’t do that, Kylo! You can’t just show up to my job unannounced like that! That’s super selfish of you!” You cried out, tear spilling down your cheeks. 

Kylo reeled back in shock as you began to sob on the street. Realizing that there was something more going on, he quickly shrugged off his overcoat to wrap it around your shoulders. Pulling your face into his chest, he quietly cooed into your ear, “We’re a block away from your place. Let’s go back and talk. I’ll make you some of that nasty chai tea that you like. I’ll even grate fresh cinnamon in it. Like that place with the overpriced coffee and that one barista...” 

“...who looks like he’s always smelling his own farts.” You stifled a reluctant giggle into Kylo’s sweater while you finished his sentence.

Kylo silently brushed the wetness from your eyes with the back of his sleeve and lifted the collar of his coat up around your neck. Tugging on the stiff fabric so you lurched forward towards him, Kylo rubbed his nose against your own. “Come on, princess. Don’t be grouchy with me,” he teased. Batting the man away, you begrudgingly chuckled at his goading. You sighed, “Sorry for freaking out on you.” 

“It’s alright. I like my women with a bit of a bite to them,” he joked as he draped an arm over your shoulder. The two of you walked in relative silence, only breaking it when you were finally safe in the threshold of your own home. True to his word, Kylo began to busy himself in the kitchen while you trudged to the bedroom for a change of clothing. 

By the time you came back out in sweatpants and a t-shirt, there was a steaming mug set out on the coffee table waiting for you. Kylo was already seated, and the man patted his lap with a wink. Despite rolling you eyes, you still crawled onto the man and relaxed into his embrace as he held you. 

“I got fired today, Kylo.” 

“Fuck that place. You were too good for it anyways.”

“It’s not about that, Ky. I _needed_ the job. I can barely afford my student loans _and_ rent as it is right now. Honestly, even Jyn has taken to ‘accidentally’ forgetting to eat the takeout she orders when she comes over, just so I don’t starve.” 

“How much money do you need to get through school without working?”

You twisted around to face Kylo so you could search his eyes. His expression remained neutral - as if he were talking about picking up clothes from the dry cleaners or Hux’s tie collection.

“Kylo...I’m not going to borrow money from my boyfriend.”

“Then don’t borrow it. I can live without the cash. How much does grad school cost anyways? I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

How...how could anyone be so flippant about parting with six figures? For the first time in your relationship, you had never felt further away from Kylo than right now. It was tough to hide the agitation in your voice. “Kylo...I don’t need your...charity.”

His brow furrowed for just a second as his eyes narrowed in response. “That what you think this is? Charity?”

“I don’t need handouts. I’ve always gotten by on my own, and I’ll do it again!” Your voice sounded defensive, even to yourself. Slowly unlacing your arms from around his neck, you slid off of Kylo’s lap to sit facing him on the couch.

“Why is it so hard for you to accept help? You’d do a lot better in school if you weren’t being run into the ground!”

Jumping up from your seat, you began to pace the living room. Hands clenched into tight fists as you crossed your arms, you shouted, “What is that supposed to mean? How I do in school is none of your fucking business. I don’t need your pity, Mr. Bigshot Rockstar! Some of us can’t just throw money at our problems to make them go away, okay?”

“Excuse me?” He scoffed. Standing to meet your stance he began to raise his voice as well. Kylo continued, “Why are you so goddamn stubborn?”

“Well at least I’m not a jackass!” 

Kylo stepped back, jaw clenching in agitation. With one final sigh, he snatched his coat from the armrest and threw it on in a huff. Stomping towards the door, he screamed over his shoulder, “Fuck this. Call me when you’re done being a raging bitch.” 

“Fuck you, Kylo!” You screamed right back, bursting into tears as he slammed the door shut. Crumpling onto the floor, you broke down into sobs. God, why did life have to be so fucking hard? 

You knew that Kylo meant well, but it was difficult to reconcile your personal baggage with his gesture - even if the man meant well. It seemed as if the entirety of your life was spent being told that you were never good enough. That you’d amount to nothing. And somehow, deep inside, you were frightened that perhaps your parents had a point. 

Sure, spite wasn’t an elegant way of getting through life’s difficulties, but it was an effective motivator nonetheless. Even though you knew that you’d never see your family again, there was still smugness to be had in throwing up metaphorical middle fingers to them anyways. And somehow, getting bailed out by your wealthy boyfriend seemed like a total cop out. Lazy, even. 

Just then, your phone began to ring, and you felt shock as you realized the time. Had you really been sitting on the floor for a few _hours?_ Expecting it to be Kylo, your shoulders sagged a bit in disappointment when the name was another’s flashing on the screen. You picked up anyways.

“What’s up, Phasma?” 

“Listen, while your relationship is truly none of my business, it kind of becomes my business if Kylo’s tearing up a storm in the studio.” 

“Oh...is he...is he okay?” 

“Judging by the state of our producer’s office, I’d say no.” 

You bit your lip in guilt and ran a thumb over the corner of the living room rug over and over again. It wasn’t really your fault that the man couldn’t control his anger, per se. Even if you did have an active role in stoking it to a full rage. 

“He...he and I got in a fight. I, uh, got fired from my job and Kylo offered to pay for my tuition so that I could just focus on my studies without working...”

“That sounds kind of him,” Phasma drawled. 

“I...I mean, it is. But that’s not the point!” 

It sounded as if Phasma was walking. The sound of cars passing softly echoed in the background as she replied, “Then what _is_ the point?” 

“He doesn’t have to help me. I can figure it out on my own.” 

“Of course you can, sweetie. And of course Kylo doesn’t _have_ to do anything. If he didn’t _want_ to, he wouldn’t offer.” 

You began to chew on your nail as shame crept up your cheeks. Perhaps you had been out of line. It wasn’t as if Kylo had been trying to embarass you...and deep down you knew that he wouldn’t think less of you for asking for a little bit of help.

Phasma cleared her throat and continued, “Look, can you keep a secret? Fuck it, I’m sure you can. Listen, one of Kylo’s greatest regrets is that he never finished school. He’s so proud of you for getting your degree. Honestly, it would be annoying if it wasn’t so damn sweet. He’s always bragging about how smart you are to everyone we know. I’m pretty sure that if Hux hears about your thesis one more time, he’ll punch himself in the face.”

“Fuck. I think I messed up...”

“Kylo should be home by now. Talk later, sweetie!” Phasma chirped before the line went dead.

Standing on shaky legs, you felt a surge in conviction as you quickly grabbed your keys and wallet. You knew exactly what you had to do, and something told you that Kylo would have a hard time staying mad once he saw your apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ho ho, I wonder what kind of apology Kylo will receive? ;)


	14. Rollercoaster For One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think there was going to be smut? Psych! Here's some angst instead.

Feeling the winter chill crawl up your spine, you tugged on the straps of your coat in a poor attempt of trapping more heat between your naked skin and the wool. You continued to mentally chastise yourself for absolutely losing your goddamn mind. Whatever possessed you to walk to Kylo’s home in nothing but lacy red lingerie and a knee-length coat clearly didn’t consider the fact that it was near freezing out. 

If you didn’t die from hypothermia, you’d probably go from embarrassment. After all, you were one misbehaved subway grate away from flashing half of Brooklyn. 

Walking into the lobby, you willed your features to relax as you nodded at Kylo’s doorman. Now familiar with your constant coming and going through the building, the friendly young man gave you grin and waved you in. Nerves ate at your stomach when you arrived on the penthouse floor. Fluffing up the ends of your windswept hair, you rang the doorbell.

During the entire walk, you played out various scenarios in your head - each and every one leaving your thoroughly fucked in the best way possible. Kylo was an adventurous man who seemed to possess an insatiable appetite. There was no way that he could resist falling into bed with you. Especially not if you were clad in the best (and very tiniest), that La Perla could offer. 

Unfortunately, you were wholly unprepared for greeted you instead. 

The door creaked open in an awkward jerky motion. A sliver of light passed through a tiny crack, and you peered in to meet Kylo’s eyes. 

“H...hey...there...” He murmured, head lolling to the side to rest on doorframe. 

Your brows immediately furrowed as distress wormed it’s way into your chest. It was quite clear what was slowly unfolding right in front of you. After all, you were no stranger to the sight of bleary red eyes on your own person.

“Kylo? Can I come in?” 

He passively hummed before disappearing from sight. Taking that as a cue to enter, you gingerly pressed the door open and immediately dropped your jaw in surprise. The entirety of his living room looked trashed. How the hell this man managed to upheave his couch on his own and flip the damn thing over was mind boggling. 

Several plants were overturned, leaving a trail of dirt across the room. His glass coffee table was shattered. A chair lay in broken pieces underneath the television with a long jagged crack down the screen. Carnage in the form of broken glass and splintered wood littered the entirety of the sitting area.

You winced in sympathetic pain as Kylo stumbled over the mess, hand still clutching onto an empty handle of whiskey. Kicking an an armchair upright, he threw the bottle against the wall while sinking into the leather. You flinched at the sound of shattering glass, and silently hoped that he would be somewhat coherent. 

“Kylo? Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll stay if you want,” you whispered. Slowly inching up on the man, you tried to tug at his hand in a non-threatening manner.

He looked up at you with dull eyes for a moment before giving a silent nod. Wrapping a tender arm around the man, you heaved him up onto his feet and slowly worked at dragging him towards the bedroom. His feet shuffled slowly behind, and upon arriving at the destination you assisted in stripping him down to his boxers. 

Once he was tucked in between the sheets, you moved to grab him some water and aspirin for the morning. Shrugging off your now laughable “outfit”, you fished around his dresser before pulling on an old K.O.REN t-shirt over your underwear. Kylo immediately latched onto your body as soon as you slid into bed. He tucked his head into the back of your neck while squeezing your waist tightly against his body. 

Small puffs of air hit your back until they began to even out. You were just on the brink of sleep when Kylo’s soft murmuring roused you. 

“You’ve ruined me, you know. I can’t have anyone else but you,” he drunkenly slurred. His grip tightened and you felt his hands tremor. He whispered, “I can’t lose you.” 

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. After freshening up in the bathroom, you followed the sounds of shuffling in the living room in search of Kylo. It seemed as if he had attempted to clean up a bit. There were a few bags of trash waiting by the front door, and the floors were now devoid of splinters and shattered glass. 

Kylo was standing in the middle of the room surveying the space with a cup of coffee in his hand. The man was shirtless, only wearing a pair of black sweats hung low on his hips. Slowly walking up him, you pressed both palms against his back and slowly slid them down until you wrapped your arms around his waist. 

Pressing a cheek against his back you murmured, “Everything okay?” 

He reached down to place a free hand over your own small fingers and sighed. “Yeah. Can we talk?” You nodded against his back and stepped away. Still holding onto your hand, he tugged you towards the kitchen where breakfast was already waiting. A plate of scrambled eggs sat on the island, along with toast and bacon. 

“O.J. or coffee?” Kylo asked over his shoulder while he busied himself with cutting up some fruit. 

“Coffee, please,” you replied as you settled atop one of the barstools. Kylo finally joined your side and fed you a cube of cantaloupe with his fingers before popping one in his own mouth. Satisfied that you had begun eating, Kylo whispered, “I’m _so_ sorry. I wish that you didn’t have to see me like that. I’m ridiculously embarrassed right now. I just...I _freaked_ , you know? It’s a shitty excuse but the thought of losing you just made me lose my fucking mind. Next thing I knew, I was drunk out of my mind and trashing this place...” 

He reached over and placed both hands on your thighs. Setting your fork down, you turned to give him your complete attention as he continued. 

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I swear to God I’d never hurt you. And...I’ll quit drinking, too. I want you to feel safe with me.” 

You placed your hands against his cheeks and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. Kylo looked at you in wonderment and suspense as he waited for you to respond. 

“Look, what happened last night wasn’t okay. But I’m no angel either. I know how it feels to just spiral out of control like that. The thing is...” Slowly dragging your hands down along his neck to rest at his shoulders, you scooted in towards to the man. Taking the cue, he shifted closer while running his palms up your thighs to rest by your hips. 

“...I like you a lot, too. In fact...I think I could fall in love with you. So, I really want this to work out. But as two functioning adults in an adult relationship. And yeah, we’re gonna fuck up here and there, but...we could probably work on our communication skills, huh?” 

You yelped as Kylo tugged you out of your seat and right into his lap. Clawing for purchase around his body, you squealed in delight as he squeezed your body tightly against his own. Burying his nose into your hair he huffed, “I feel the same way about you. And it’s so fucking scary. But fuck it! I wanna try. You make me want to be a better man.” 

Giggling into his shoulder, you relished in the soft feeling of Kylo pressing kisses all along your hair, cheeks, and neck. You sat back a little and gave Kylo a naughty smirk. 

“You know, too bad you weren’t better behaved last night. I was planning on surprising you with nothing underneath my wool coat except some lingerie.” 

Kylo leaned against your ear and murmured, “I think that waking up to my girlfriend in nothing but panties and a K.O.REN shirt was pretty fucking hot, too.” Kylo’s shirt was far too large for your tiny frame, and the neckline slipped to reveal just enough skin for the man to begin sucking hickey’s into the space below your clavicle. 

Moaning at the warmth of his mouth against your skin, you decided to finish what you had planned to start the night before. Just before Kylo made his signature move of hoisting you up to haul your ass to the bedroom, you shoved the man right back in his seat. Surprise lit up in his features as you sensually shimmied your body southward. 

Hands still trailing down his chest, your nimble fingers tugged at his waistband while you sank to your knees. Immediately getting the idea, Kylo scrambled to shove his sweatpants off while you held back a chuckle. 

Because somehow, you could turn the big bad wolf into a bumbling boy.

His cock sprang forward, already hard and begging for attention. God, you could never get enough of this dick. Giving him a few soft tugs, you slowly brought the head towards your mouth. Flicking the tip with a few tentative licks, Kylo was driven to the brink of insanity by your teasing. 

Satisfied at the sight of his fists clenching and the strain in his thighs, you finally alleviated the man by sucking down as much of his member as you could. You bobbed up and down his length with a fervor similar to a starved woman as you enthusiastically licked and sucked. 

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ ,” Kylo moaned as his hands scrambled to tangled themselves into your hair. You relaxed your throat as much as possible when he began to pump in and out of your mouth, using your body to chase his own satisfaction.

Just as Kylo was about to reach his peak, you pulled back slightly so the tip rested at the front of your tongue. Feeling rather playful, you decided to have some fun with the man. Looking up at Kylo with doe-like eyes, you fluttered your lashes towards the man and whimpered, “Please cum in my mouth, _Daddy_.” 

Kylo choked on his breath and you felt his grip around your head tighten. Without warning, he suddenly came in full force, and you lurched forward to suck it all down without complaint. Swallowing load after load of tangy cum, you hummed in appreciation as he emptied himself into you. 

Only when he finished, did you sit back and innocently wipe your lips with the back of your hand. Kylo immediately sank to the floor and pulled you in for a searing kiss. The fact that you still had some of his cum on your lips didn’t deter the man from licking it up anyways. Finally having his fill of your plump lips, he leaned his forehead against yours and whispered, “Fuck. I don’t _think_ I could love you. I definitely, most certainly, completely _do_ love you, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST KIDDING. _Of course_ there's smut  <3
> 
> Also, in case ya'll were worried, I'm not going to start inserting daddy kink here. She's just teasing him from the previous gobble gobble chapter, lol ;)


	15. A Wild Proposition

Thursday afternoon rolled by, and you found yourself sequestered in the back of an “artisan coffee shop” feeling rather uninspired. Typically, the prospect of being caffeinated amongst friends was something you’d enjoy. Unfortunately, even the company of Jyn and Cassian was doing little to ease your irritated mood. 

Rolling a coffee stirrer between your fingers, you glared towards a seated young man with a mop of shaggy hair crooning over his guitar. While some may enjoy the acoustic stylings of “Evan, barista of the month”, you were one more bad Oasis cover away from stomping up to the poor guy and ripping the jack out of his amp. 

Jyn suddenly smacked the back of your shoulder and demanded your attention. She playfully hissed into your ear, “Just because _your_ boyfriend plays sold out stadiums doesn’t mean you get to turn into a music snob.” 

“What? Of course not! I’m just a little distracted,” you sputtered over the top of a vanilla latte. 

“I don’t blame her. I’m pretty sure the poor kid just started on his fourth attempt at Wonderwall. Do you think he’ll actually get the key right this time?” Cassian chuckled. 

Jyn groaned at the both of you and rolled her eyes. She turned to spit a retort towards Cassian, and you resumed to fighting an uncomfortable pressure in your mind.

You know, that odd tingling sensation you get at the back of your head when you swear you’ve forgotten something, but you’re not sure what? Or how you could feel your brain hurt whenever you tried to recall a memory with just a tad bit too much enthusiasm?

Suddenly, it dawned on you. The source of your discomfort was from the fact that you were actually doing something social on a weekday. Because, for the first time since you turned eighteen, you actually had free time. 

This newfound freedom was all thanks to one brooding, annoyingly handsome, and incredibly loving boyfriend by the name of Kylo Ren. After your argument (and subsequent blow job/declarations of love), the two of you actually sat down for an honest conversation.

Kylo was empathetic to your misgivings regarding accepting help, but the man was steadfast in his desire to pay for your tuition. He _loved_ you for fuck’s sake. And that sentiment came with a desire to support and care for the most important person in his life. He was adamant that it was not a sign of weakness to accept assistance, and you did your very best to fight a wounded ego. 

Allowing someone to care (no, _love_ ) you was a foreign notion.

Holding onto Kylo’s calloused hands, you finally relented with the smallest of nods. But that was enough to send the man into a flurry of pure and unabashed joy. He was like a puppy in the way he nuzzled and cuddled you afterwards.

Something Jyn said caused Cassian to bark in laughter, and you were immediately brought back to the present. Jyn cast you some side-eye as she pretended to not notice that you had mentally disappeared somewhere for the past five minutes. 

“So! I have some news to share,” Cassian started as he leaned forward onto his elbows. Jyn and yourself instinctively mimed his actions. The three of you huddled together like conspirators in a heist. Waiting for just the right amount of suspense, it became clear why Cassian Andor was such a successful storyteller. He hadn’t even uttered what the news was yet, and you were on the edge of your seat buzzing in anticipation. 

A heartbeat passed and he finally cheered, “So, the current manuscript I’m working on? They’re going straight to the theaters with it!” 

Jyn screamed and you gasped as the table devolved into a flurry of expletives and cheering. A few older patrons at the next table shot the three of your dirty looks, and despite being adults you all shrank into your seats in embarrassment. 

“But the book isn’t even done yet!”   
“When will you start filming?”   
“Will you still remember us little people?”   
“Wait, are you still finishing the book?”  
“Oh my God, will you invite us to the Oscars?”

Cassian laughed at the onslaught of questions from yourself and Jyn. The two of you were genuinely happy for your friend’s success and couldn’t wait to get some more juicy insider information. Jyn was literally out of her seat. The woman had her palms flat against the rough wooden table as she tilted forward towards Cassian. 

He playfully pushed her back down into her seat and begged the woman to calm down. Sipping on a cappuccino, he rolled his eyes at your excitement in mock indifference. Slapping the man across the back you chided, “Please. Don’t even try and act like this isn’t a big deal.” 

Setting his drink down, he paused for a moment before bursting out, “You’re right. I’m so fucking excited. My God, Rogue one is turning into a franchise.” 

It made total sense, and you were thrilled for Cassian. His series of action novels had birthed a generation of dedicated fans. The first film was so successful that fans had been clamoring for more. It should come as no surprise that the studio was basically falling over itself to get Cassian to sign onto a franchise. The author only promised two more films for the time being - turning Rogue One into a trilogy. 

The three of you went back on forth discussing the new series until Jyn got up to leave for work. Gathering her things up, she gave you each a peck on the cheek before sweeping out of the coffeeshop. 

You were about to excuse yourself when Cassian motioned for you to come closer. Satisfied that you were within whispering distance, he asked, “How’s the MBA coming along? You’re graduating soon right?” 

“Yeah. In a few months...”

Why was he whispering? 

Cassian nodded and murmured, “Good, good...” You gave him a pointed look and the man chuckled. He continued, “Any plans after school?” Suddenly you felt like you were back at home suffering through a tense and awkward dinner with the extended family. Your uncles and aunts questioning your future plans while your parents shook their heads in disapproval. 

Sensing your discomfort, he immediately moved to place a friendly hand on your arm. Flashing you a charismatic smile he explained himself. 

“Look, this is a bit hush hush for now, and I’m still working out the details with the studio, but...how would you feel about coming in for a screen test?” 

You choked on your spit and Cassian thumped his fist against your back. “Cassian, I’m...I’m not an _actress_. Are you out of your goddamn mind?” He laughed at your incredulity and leaned back in his seat. 

“Look, the whole point of the series is to highlight how greatness and goodness can come from the everyday. That includes people like yourself, who might not see the potential inside of you. Casting someone who isn’t a professional actress is a powerful statement. Besides, the character _is_ based on your personal story.” 

“But have you _seen_ me? I’m no Meryl Streep for fuck’s sake.”

“And you don’t have to be. There’s no pressure. Just come in for a reading and meet with my agent. If you hate it, then you hate it. But at least give yourself a chance.”

_Give yourself a chance..._

Jyn was always trying to help you see beyond what you thought of yourself. To help you understand that life was boundless and bountiful - as long as you took a chance. Looking at Cassian, you nodded and shakily breathed, “O...okay...”

* * *

Kylo leaned back in his leather seat, almost to the point of tipping over. He mused that there was probably some hidden symbolism regarding living life on the edge. Or maybe he was just being his typical melodramatic self. Either way, he hung right there on the precipice of falling over before he suddenly launched up and onto his feet. 

Snatching his acoustic guitar up by the neck he began to strum a few chords. “Hux! Let’s take the bridge up half an octave. Phas, can we hit the verse with a little more bass and less snare?”

Like a well-oiled machine, the duo smoothly added their respective instruments into the mix. Soon, the instruments swelled into a climax as Kylo began to belt out the next verse. The music slowly tapered off, and Kylo reached down to scribble some notes onto a sheet of lined paper. 

“I think we can loop the bridge one more time before the last verse,” Hux added. Kylo nodded and hummed the melody as he continued to furiously write. He never knew when inspiration would hit, and just like lightening it could disappear at any given moment. Whenever the band could get the music down at the exact right moment though...

Well, moments like that won them a Grammy. 

Taking a moment to breathe, Hux tugged a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit it up. Technically, they weren’t supposed to smoke in the studio. But writing sessions were usually pretty relaxed, and their producer was willing to turn a blind eye if that meant more music could be made. 

Blowing out a puff of smoke, he rolled his eyes as Phasma reached over to steal his cigarette. Pulling a deep drag of her own, she kicked Hux in the thigh before returning it to him. She leaned back and addressed Kylo. 

“So. Your girlfriend.” 

“What about her?” Kylo lifted a brow in question. 

“You know we have to go back on tour soon, right?” 

Kylo knew what the implication was. He’d never really had a home, per se. Certainly nobody to answer to. For the entirety of his career, he basically lived on and off the road doing whatever the fuck he wanted. Kylo knew that shucking all sense of responsibility and consequence wouldn’t exactly bode well if he wanted to remain happily coupled up. 

He sighed, “Yeah, I haven’t talked to her about it yet. I’d ask her to come, but something tells me that she’d hate following us around like that.” Phasma gave him a sharp snort and motioned for Hux to hand over his cigarette again. 

“That’s a given. She’s no groupie, and that’s why I love her - _ow_!” Her sentence was cut off as Hux launched the carton at her head. The ginger growled, “Get your own, you damn mooch!” Phasma sneered right back at him while Kylo rolled his eyes at the two. 

Kylo mulled over the tour schedule and was pleasantly surprised to find that he rather enjoyed the idea of a future. Being a rockstar wasn’t exactly conducive to long term planning. Not that he had anyone to think about before, anyways. 

All he knew was that he was fucking gone for his girlfriend, and no matter which way his future diverged - he wanted her right there with him. He wondered if it was too soon to move in together. You had only been together for a few months, but he had already been stealthily sneaking his things into your place, while simultaneously subtly transitioning the top drawer in his bedroom to “your drawer”. 

God, he didn’t even know how to bring the subject up to. Kylo knew that it was already hard enough to convince you to let him help out with your tuition. He shuddered to think how “hey, want to move into my penthouse and let me pay the rent” would go. 

Honestly, he didn’t care where the hell he lived. He’d sell off his place and move into your studio in a heartbeat if you’d let him. 

Kylo Ren was so whipped, and he loved every fucking second of it. 

Wrapping up their session, Kylo waved at his bandmates before heading home for the night. Looking down at his phone, he grinned like a fool in love.

_Princess | 5:05 PM | Hey, handsome! I “accidentally” made way too much spaghetti ;)_

_Princess | 5:06 PM | Want to come over and help me eat some of this stuff? I have garlic breaaaaadddd._

_Princess | 5:07 PM | Oh, and I miss you. And I love you. AND I need you. So come over. Pretty please <3_

Kylo clutched onto his phone and closed his eyes. Suddenly, it became clear as day where love songs came from. Toying with the device for a little bit, he quickly typed back. 

_Kylo | 6:37 PM | On my way! I’ll see you in 20._

_Kylo | 6:37 PM | Love you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, I have so many ideas planned for these two. I seriously need to remind myself that I have actual responsibilities and can't spend all day writing fic x) I really hope you guys like where I take this story! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. In the spirit of our brooding and melodramatic Kylo, it seriously gives me LIFE <3


	16. Two Peas In A Pod

Peering over a bagel with lox, you patiently waited for Kylo to wrap up a rather heated internal dialogue with himself. The poor guy probably thought of himself as a blank canvas of emotional indifference, and you didn’t have the heart to drop some truth bombs on the man. 

Namely, the fact that you could read him like a book. 

Still, you continued to allow him the dignity of pretending to be rather _incognito_. Chewing on a stubborn piece of salmon, you went through the motions of playing with your cellphone while Kylo worked out what he wanted to say to you. It didn’t do anyone any good to push the man to reveal his thoughts before he was ready. 

He snatched a bagel off the top of his counter and ripped into it. You blanched at the somewhat feral gesture, and then felt a confused sense of arousal at the rather primitive gesture. Making a mental note to research “cavemen kink” later, you didn’t even realize that Kylo had stopped chewing and was casting you a strong and inquisitive look.

Shit. Apparently you weren’t any better at hiding your own thoughts either. 

A sly grin spread across his face as he slowly lowered his food to the counter. Leaning across the marble, he reached out to take hold of the sides of your chin. His grip was firm, and he gave your jaw a slight squeeze. He practically growled into your mouth, “See something you like, Princess?” 

A totally unsexy garble escaped your throat as Kylo tightened his clutch. 

Dipping his head down to run the tip of his nose along your throat, you shuddered as the man took in a deep breath. Wet heat licked up from the base of your neck to right underneath your chin as Kylo licked your skin. 

“ _Delicious_.” 

He dropped his hand, but you still remained frozen in your seat as Kylo’s palms roved downwards towards your legs. It was early morning, which meant that you hadn’t changed out of your typical sleepwear - a K.O.REN shirt and panties. Toying with the edges of your thong, he smirked at feeling of dampness along the tiny strip of fabric.

“Open up, Princess.” 

Your thighs quivered as you slowly slid your legs open, allowing the man access to your womanhood. He gently ran his hands up and down your thighs as he bent down to capture your bottom lip between his teeth. Nipping at the flesh, he murmured, “Mmmm...so responsive. So _good_.” 

A moan erupted from your mouth as he suddenly dipped a finger between your folds. Without warning, he began to slowly slide a thick digit into you. He gently lured wanton moans out of your throat as he pumped a finger in and out. Reaching upwards with his thumb, he circled your clit as he continued to kiss you deeply and ferociously. 

Completely lost to the pleasure of Kylo’s touch, you felt your body slacken against his hand. A sudden pinch against your clit elicited a yelp as Kylo chided, “Lazy girls don’t get to cum.” 

Still shaking, you forced your thighs to widen yet again as Kylo hummed in approval. Clutching onto the edge of the stool, you felt blood drain from your hands as your knuckles turned white from exertion. The effort was worth it though, because Kylo was soon bringing you to the brink of pleasure. With one final thrust, you toppled over the edge with a cry. Slumping into Kylo’s chest, he warmly caught you with a strong arm. He brought his other hand up, slick with your juices, and made a show of sucking off each digit. 

“Kylo...” 

The man ignored you as he began to shift your limbs around. Closing your legs, he then swept an arm underneath to pick you up. Pressing your head against his shoulder he cooed, “Shower, first. Then we’ll finish your bagel and have a little chat.”

Your limbs felt like syrup, as post-orgasm bliss washed over your body. The only thing you could do was nuzzle your face into his neck and whisper, “I love you.” 

“I love you too, princess.” 

Forty minutes later, you were splayed out on Kylo’s bed feeling fully sated inside and out. After climbing out of the shower, you had giddily realized that your boyfriend had moved breakfast from the kitchen to the bedroom. Your bagels were sitting neatly on a tray alongside freshly brewed hot coffee. 

Resting your head on Kylo’s stomach, you lazily trailed aimless shapes along his bare torso. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was soothing, as well as the sensation of his fingers running along your hair. 

“So...next week is our five month anniversary...” Kylo tentatively started. 

You rolled onto your stomach to face the man while perching your chin atop closed fists. Smiling at his nervous demeanor you teased, “I didn’t realize you were the type of guy to keep count.” 

His ears did that ridiculously cute thing you loved anytime he got embarrassed - they tinged pink at the tips. 

“I mean...I guess...it really depends...” 

“Kylo. I’m just teasing. I kind of love that you keep count.” 

He sniffed and jokingly pushed you off of his stomach. Laughing while rolling away, you squealed when Kylo pounced on top of you. Caging you between his arms, he growled as you tried to kick away. 

Lifting your head off the mattress, you pressed a quick kiss against his lips. The man’s expression immediately softened at the gesture. Kylo sat up on his haunches, and you moved to sit up as well. Crossing your legs, you reached out to grab his hands in your own. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll be serious. What’s up?” 

Kylo shifted to mirror your posture and tentatively began, “I know that this might sound crazy, and I want to let you know that there’s absolutely no pressure, but...how do you feel about moving in...together?” 

“Oh.” 

He immediately panicked and sent a barrage of words in your direction. “Listen, I know that this might seem like moving fast, but to me it isn’t. I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything or anyone in my life! And...if you want, you can think of it as doing me a favor. If I go on tour, it would be nice to have someone at my place while I’m gone. I mean, unless you want to come with me. I just assumed...”

Your hand shot out as you covered his mouth with your palm. Eyes dancing with mirth you grinned at the man. 

“Yes.” 

His eyes widened in surprise. Voice muffled behind your hand, he exclaimed, “Really? Just like that?” 

“Just like that.”

* * *

Cassian met you in front of a typical Manhattan high-rise. When he had originally ran the idea of having you audition for his movie, you didn’t realize that things moved so quickly in the film industry. Saying “yes” was one thing, but actually facing the consequences of the positive answer was a completely different story.

Thankfully, the seasoned veteran had prepped you on what to expect prior to the audition. He had assured you that the meeting was rather informal. The director just wanted to “get a feel” for “the talent”, and see how your personality would translate on screen. 

Your friend continued to chatter amicably during the elevator ride up to the penthouse floor, completely oblivious to your nervousness. Stepping off, he comfortably navigated through the offices while explaining this and that. 

“The director hates filming in studios, and prefers to capture shots on location. That means that there will be quite a bit of traveling involved...oh! Speaking of the director, here’s Amilyn!” 

Cassian stopped in front of a towering woman with a shocking head of lavender hair. Despite an imposing stature, her features were friendly as she rushed forward to shake your hand. Her voice was delicate as she exclaimed, “This must be Cassian’s friend I’ve heard so much about! After reading his manuscript, I just knew that I had to meet the woman responsible for this generation’s newest heroine!” 

You felt your cheeks redden in an uncharacteristic blush. You weren’t used to people finding _anything_ interesting about your personality. There certainly wasn’t anything to write home about, and you _definitely_ never expected the word “heroine” to be attached to your name. 

Amilyn graciously directed Cassian and yourself into a private conference room. Soon thereafter, a leggy dark haired woman entered the room. You felt your spine prickle as she cast saccharine sweet smiles towards Cassian and Amilyn, while completely frosting you. She handed the director some packets of papers and set down a few bottles of water. 

“Thank you, Bazine,” Amilyn addressed the assistant before the woman swept out of the room with a haughty air. The director then turned to you and explained, “We can’t release the actual script during the audition process, so we’ll have you read some lines from other works with Cassian.”

You wanted so desperately to do well - to prove to your friends that they hadn’t misplaced their optimism and faith. But the nerves of sitting between an Oscar winning director and an internationally acclaimed writer proved to be too much. Thirty heart-wrenching and sweat inducing minutes later, Amilyn placed a kind hand on your shoulder and insisted on a break.

“Let’s take ten, and regroup? Don’t worry dear, these things are hard even for professionals,” she tried to soothe. 

The only thing you could do was push down bile as you shakily asked for the bathroom. Cassian pointed to a hallway around the corner, and you darted away before he could finish his sentence. God, this was so fucking embarrassing. Stumbling down the corridor, you made a few wrong turns and realized that you were a total mess. 

Trying your luck at what seemed like the fifth white unmarked door you tried to pass through, you found yourself in an employee break room. This probably wasn’t where Cassian had intended to send you, but thankfully there seemed to be a single occupancy restroom here. Slamming the door shut, you leaned your head against the door and slid down to the floor. 

Just as your breath evened out, you heard several footsteps enter the room. Thinking it was Cassian on the lookout, you stood to exit. Placing a hand on the handle, your movement stopped as a familiar shrill voice seeped through the wood. 

“Denise, you should have seen the wet rat! I can’t believe that Amilyn is actually auditioning that pitiful thing. They’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel this time around.” 

A second, equally nasally voice, piped up. “Honestly, it’s just insulting at this point. Like, I get that she’s going for ‘authenticity’ or whatever, but this isn’t your college film project, okay? She should be auditioning professionals, like ourselves.”

“You know, I looked her up later back at my desk. She’s that bag of bones Kylo Ren is currently fucking this week. I bet he’s just keeping his bitch busy while he gets his dick wet elsewhere.”

“Bazine! That’s nasty!” 

“Whatever! Probably not as nasty as her stretched out saggy cu-“

The bathroom door slammed against the wall as you jumped out furious with anger. They could say whatever they wanted about you. They weren’t wrong. You really weren’t an actress. Besides, you’ve been called far worse on your best days. 

But to talk about Kylo and Amilyn in that way? To imply that Kylo was some sort of man slut or to question Amilyn’s work and vision like that? 

Hell, no. 

At least the mysterious second woman had enough sense to pale in embarrassment upon realizing who you were. Bazine, on the other hand, merely rolled her eyes. 

Stalking right up to the woman, your voice was dangerously low as you got right up into her personal space. Each syllable was sharp as you seethed, “Maybe if you spent more time focused on your own career, you wouldn’t be fetching water for a nobody with a ‘stretched out saggy cunt.’”

Bazine actually had the audacity to gasp in horror as you spat her own words back in her direction. You noticed her pal already inching away from the confrontation, but it seemed as if the tall raven haired woman had no intention of backing down.

“You’re delusional to think that Kylo Ren actually likes you, or that you have any chance of becoming a movie star.” 

At this point you could only laugh in her face. “I don’t need to defend my relationship to some two-bit skank. Newsflash, _you’re_ not a movie star because the only thing you’re good at is talking shit. The fact that you even think that you know better than Amilyn fucking Holdo about her own goddamn movie is a laughable joke.” 

Bazine gasped and narrowed her kohl lined eyes at you. Whipping around on her heel, she turned to stomp out of the room - only to stop right in her tracks. 

There stood Amilyn. Arms folded across her chest, she slowly shook her head towards the assistant’s direction. Her voice was even and severe as she quietly murmured, “Denise. Get Bazine out of here, and wait with her in HR.”

The two woman began to blubber, but Amilyn merely raised a hand to stop them with a final, “ _Now_.” As soon as they had scampered out of the room, Amilyn turned towards your direction. Feeling rather uncomfortable, you quickly tried to explain yourself. “I’m so sorry! I’m beyond embarrassed that you caught me fighting with your staff. I swear I’m not difficult to work with!” 

The director merely laughed and waved off your apologies. Walking up to you, she warmly grasped your hands in her palms. “Don’t apologize, dear! _That_ was the kind of fire I was looking for today. The fact that you would choose to defend those you love before defending yourself, is the kind of spirit I’m looking for in this film!” 

She excitedly pulled you out of the room and back towards the conference room. She continued to chatter, “I _have_ to have you. That kind of fire is authentic. Something that honest can’t be replicated through _acting_. I’ll have you meet with a performance coach weekly! Cassian will work with you on characterization, too. We can make this work!” 

Everything else became a blur as you were soon shuffled to meet more and more people on her team. You were pushed into a room to have your photos taken so that wardrobe could get a head start on costuming. Amilyn mentioned something about getting you an agent, and Cassian offered up his lawyer to go over the immense contract you’d have to sign. 

By the end of the day, you somehow found your way back outside. After bidding everyone farewell, you left with piles of paperwork and far too much information stuffed inside of your tired brain. Standing by the subway entrance, you felt like a shell of a person. 

Despite the excitement and exhaustion of the day though, one single emotion slowly clawed its way to the forefront of your mind. 

Fear. 

Because you had yet to tell Kylo about everything that had transpired. If you had to be honest with yourself, you felt guilty for keeping such a large secret from your boyfriend. You had no idea how the man would react, and didn’t want to rock the boat before anything had solidified. Would he think you were a social climbing wannabe starlet? Would he find your lack of experience laughable and a joke? Would he hate that you weren’t going to put your degree to good use after graduation after spending so much money on it?

Now it seemed as if this was really going to happen. You were going to become a star.

But you were so scared. You’d never navigated anything like this before. Closing your eyes, you reflected on all that had happened between yourself and Kylo. It would be unfair to assume his reaction. Hadn’t he proven that he could be trusted to be level headed and empathetic? Good or bad?

Mustering up courage, you slowly dialed your boyfriend’s number. Upon hearing him pick up, you shakily whispered, “Hey, Kylo. I think we need to talk...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't resist throwing in some Bazine everywhere I go, huh? 
> 
> Next chapter we talk to Kylo about our future, and face some facts.
> 
> As always, thank you SO much for reading <3


	17. We Talk

A half-eaten bag of Doritos danced between your hands as the shock of sudden heavy pounding against the front door caught you by surprise. You skirted around half-packed boxes and threw the door open in haste and anxiety.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Kylo! Are you okay?” 

The man was a mess of sweat and panic. His long black locks were glued to his damp skin, and a chambray button up was half tucked into his pants. He immediately launched himself into the apartment and threw his arms around your waist. 

Pressing his face against your head, he murmured into your hair, “Are you breaking up with me?” 

You untangled yourself from the man and forcibly pushed him away in a huff. Slamming the front door shut you replied, “What the hell are you talking about? Why would I break up with you? Look at the state of my fucking apartment!” 

The pair of you were standing amongst numerous cardboard boxes with labels haphazardly scribbled over the top. All of your things had been gathered and stacked away, ready for movers to arrive the next week. You were pretty stoked about moving in with your boyfriend, but the true joy would come when you finally settled down without having to comb through mislabeled boxes to find a missing textbook or shirt. 

Kylo looked around nervously and seemed to be speaking to himself. “Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah...” He hid his face behind two large palms and groaned, “Fuck, woman. I don’t know. You just turn me upside down all the fucking time.” 

“Can we please take a deep breath, and tell me what is going on?”

You tugged Kylo away from the front door and pushed him onto the couch. Tossing the bag of Doritos in his lap, you hoped that the Spicy Nacho chips could offer him some sort of comfort. Almost on auto-pilot, the singer immediately stuffed a hand into the bag, and fisted a handful into his mouth. 

Grinning at the adorable sight of your boyfriend morphing into a nervous eater, you climbed onto the couch by his side. Cuddling right up to his hip, you looked up between your lashes and patiently waited for him to explain himself. 

“I...I think I overreacted.” 

Laughing at his sudden shyness, you batted away the now empty bag and implored the man to explain himself. 

“You’ve been hanging out with Cassian so much lately... not that you can’t hang out with other guys or that I don’t trust you...but then you suddenly called out of nowhere and wanted to ‘talk’. I know what that means...” 

Rolling your eyes at Kylo, you shifted your weight to climb up into his lap and straddle his thighs. Pulling his face up with your hands, you gave him a faux stern look before you scolded, “I know what that means, too. It literally means that I want to talk to my boyfriend. Because this isn’t a stupid rom-com. Remember? We’re keeping our relationship healthy by acting like adults.” 

Kylo cast you a sheepish look and brought his hands to rest at your hips. Sighing at his antics, you decided to let it go. Kissing him quickly against the lips, you pressed a second one against his forehead for good measure. Leaning back to settle your ass against his legs, you dropped your hands to loop around his neck. 

“Alright, babe. What’s up then?” Kylo asked. 

Still holding onto your boyfriend, you gave him a quick recap of everything that had transpired between yourself and Cassian. Kylo listened in silence as you explained how the meeting with Amilyn went, only grunting in agitation as you mentioned your confrontation with her assistant. 

Upon finishing your updates, you grew nervous as Kylo remained silent. It was clear that the man was mulling over your words, and you grew concerned that he wouldn’t be happy with your decision to give acting a try. 

You obviously didn’t need permission from Kylo, but support would sure be appreciated. Although it would be disappointing to have him disapprove, you’d understand. After all, he just dropped five figures to help pay off your schooling. Plus, he wasn’t exactly why when it came to his sentiments regarding budding starlets. 

Still, you waited with bated breath as he slowly trailed soft circles into your lower back. 

“Working on a film is a huge endeavor. There’s rehearsals, filming can be grueling... especially since Amilyn is famous for shooting outdoors... and then there’s promotion afterwards,” Kylo murmured. 

“Amilyn mentioned the schedule to me.” 

“And it’s more than just making a movie. This is big screen shit. You’ll have to do so much press... and there’s politics involved and PR.” 

“Cassian said he could get me a trusted team...” 

“The fame, too. You’ll never go back to being the ‘MBA student slash waitress’ ever again. And the press...they could turn on you at any moment...” 

“Kylo, are you trying to dissuade me from doing the movie?” you asked with a slight waver in your voice. He merely shook his head in response and pulled you closer against his chest. 

“No, I just want to make sure that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. You really want this bad, huh?” 

You nodded and then quickly ducked your head into the space between his neck and shoulder. Kylo quietly hummed as he thought over the situation. “Alright,” he murmured into your hair. Rubbing soothing lines up and down your spine he continued, “This is your decision, and if it means so much to you then I’ll support it. But...let me help you build your team. You’ll need a good lawyer and publicist to start. I want to make sure you’re in capable hands. People you can trust.” 

Kylo laughed as you squealed in excitement. With his experience and full support behind you, suddenly the prospect of becoming an actress didn’t feel so daunting anymore. He leaned back and jokingly huffed, “To think that I thought I was done fucking up and coming actresses.”

The man dodged your hand as it flew to smack him against the head. Letting out a deep chuckle, he continued to bat away your assaults before standing up. In one fell swoop he was up on his feet with your legs tangled around his waist. Hoisting you up by your bottom, he relished in your tiny giggles as he practically ran to the bedroom. 

“Why don’t we celebrate by having one last go in your bed before we toss it?”

* * *

Thank God graduation was almost upon you. Luckily, most of your thesis was already finished - the only work left being a few edits and actually gathering up your research into something presentable. You felt somewhat depressed at the fact that Richard, from Kinkos, knew you by a first name basis. 

The work itself wasn’t unmanageable. It was the fact that you were about to embark on a sudden career shift to actress that was throwing a wrench into your plans. Any time freed up from leaving your job at the diner was now occupied by rehearsals, meetings with management, and about a million other things you didn’t know came with the job description. 

Yeah, it was rather naive to think that all you had to do was show up on a set, utter out some lines, and go home. Still, any “work” you expected was actually multiplied tenfold. 

To make matters even more stressful, you hardly had any time to spend with Kylo. The man, himself, was occupied with finalizing the next Knights of Ren album. Dating a rockstar opened your eyes to the less than glamorous side of the music industry. Namely, the fact that there was so much paperwork and pre-planning involved. 

According to People Magazine, the job description of “rockstar” seemed rather fun. Belt out a few verses, go to a few parties, avoid crying fans shoving their bras in your face - it all seemed manageable. 

Apparently, you were misguided in those thoughts as well. Kylo was working overtime to not only perfect his music, but their PR strategy as well. Marketing assets were needed, interviews had to be conducted, and merch had to be created. K.O.REN shirts weren’t going to sell themselves. 

It was also difficult for you to wrap your head around the idea of yet another stadium tour. They had to plan travel routes. Then there was the logistics of moving all of their equipment, hiring staff, and working out ticketing deals with each respective venue. 

Just listing out your combined to-do lists was causing sweat to bead along your forehead. Kylo even joked a few times that he’d get you a personal assistant just to help schedule out date nights.

Trudging up to the apartment you now shared with your boyfriend, you sighed at the prospect of returning home to an empty home yet again. Wasn’t the point of moving in together supposed to be that you were starting a life together? 

You weren’t mad at Kylo though. It wasn’t his fault that the band was practically nocturnal while Amilyn and Cassian preferred to work early in the morning. That didn’t lessen the sting of missing him though. 

The door clicked and swung open, and you suddenly tripped over a pair of unfamiliar combat boots. Your eyes counted five pairs of shoes, while your ears perked up at the sound of laughter and sizzling, of all things. 

You followed the scent of warm bread towards the kitchen, and felt your heart melt at the sight that greeted you. Cassian and Phasma were sitting on barstools around the island - each working at chopping various fresh vegetables to be tossed into a waiting salad bowl. Jyn was giggling at something Hux said as she stirred brownie batter. The red-haired man’s eyes were crinkled in amusement as he arranged a charcuterie board on the other side of the kitchen. 

Your heart leapt into your throat as you found Kylo standing by the stove. He was wearing a pink apron you had brought along from your old place, and looked to be stirring mashed potatoes. He hadn’t noticed you yet, and moved around Jyn to squat down as he checked on the oven. 

Hux, the ever observant one of the group, noticed your presence first. He gave you a friendly nod and proceeded to lightly kick Kylo in the rib. The taller man jerked away and yelped, “What the fuck, Hux?! I’m holding a goddamn knife...oh! Babe!” 

Kylo’s face split into a huge grin as he set the knife down and rushed over to your side. “I hope you don’t mind that I called our friends over! I know that you probably had a long day with your advisor today, but I thought that it would be a nice break to hang out with everyone.”

Your voice was barely a whisper as you murmured, “You...you cooked dinner for me...”

“Well, yeah. Your schedule’s been insane lately. I wanted you to relax tonight.” 

“And...you called my friends...”

“Jyn’s been bitching that she hasn’t seen you in ages. I texted Jyn and Cassian, and it seemed like everyone happened to be free at the same time. I thought it was a great excuse to get together and chill. Wait...is everything okay? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I didn’t ask before I invited...” 

He stopped talking as you suddenly exploded into tears. Fuck, this was embarrassing. Not only were you a notoriously ugly crier, but all of your friends ceased their actions to watch in concern. Kylo immediately threw his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. Running a hand up and down your back he cooed, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” 

You continued to sniffle as Kylo pulled away and used the edge of his sweater to dry your tears. He awkwardly pressed the scratchy cotton against your face, unsure of what to do. Shaking your head, you hiccuped, “No! No. Don’t be sorry. I just...I love you. So fucking much. I needed this. I needed _you_. Thank you.” 

Kylo’s grin returned as he pressed a tender kiss into the top of your head. He was about to move in for your lips when Phasma loudly shouted, “Awwwww! Now that we’ve established that you guys are disgustingly cute, who wants to help me grate some cheese?” You laughed in response and raised your hand to volunteer. 

Everyone in the kitchen groaned as Kylo pulled you onto his back for a piggyback ride into the kitchen. Upon reaching Jyn, he bent at the waist so you could lean over and give your best friend a one armed hug. She smiled at the sight and mouthed, “He’s a good guy.” 

As Kylo straightened out to deposit you by Phasma’s side, you turned to give you friend a shy smile and nod. How _did_ you get so lucky?

* * *

“Are we seriously _still_ debating _Wonderwall_? I feel like we talk about Oasis every goddamn time we get together,” Jyn whined between Phasma and Kylo as they shot glares at each other across the table. 

“Look, just because the masses choose to butcher the song doesn’t mean it takes away its merits!” 

“ _Merits?_ There’s, like, only five chords in the whole damn song.” 

“You’re ignoring its influence in popular culture,” Hux drawled as served himself another brownie. The man’s lip twisted in amusement as he swatted your fork away with his knife. You stuck your tongue out and playfully grumbled, “But _yours_ has more ganache.” 

“You snooze, you loose.” Hux teased, yet still slid the dessert onto your plate. He rolled his eyes at your triumphant grin, and reached over the table to grab another slice. 

Kylo huffed at his friends, “You guys are just biased because you’re English...ish.” Kylo tacked on the “-ish” as he made eye contact with Hux. Jyn groaned, “How about we all agree that you guys are _all_ petty, and turn your attention towards _me_. Can we talk about how everyone is jetting off to live their superstar lives while I’m left behind?” 

You grinned at the antics of your friends. It was a hodgepodge of people, but they were your people. Watching everyone share a meal together made you grateful for having Kylo in your life. He showed you a richness and depth that you had never had the privilege of knowing. Other than Jyn, he was the closet thing to family you had now. The only gap to cross was one of legality - marriage.

Could Kylo be a husband? You weren’t even sure you could be a wife. You mused over the fantasy of normalcy when a crouton suddenly bounced off your forehead. Cassian was trying to get your attention, and took to more drastic measures. 

You giggled as Kylo made a show of kissing and rubbing your forehead as if Cassian had launched a brick at your head instead. Phasma returned to making gagging noises, while Hux and Jyn ignored the entire charade. 

“Did Amilyn tell you that we finally finalized the film schedule? It’s going to be a bit tight, but we managed to get the start date after your graduation.” 

“That’s also when we start touring, right? How are you guys going to handle the long distance?” Hux cut in. Kylo nodded and frowned. He hadn’t actually discussed the logistics of your relationship, unwilling to open Pandora’s box. It was naive as hell - they’d be on the road for at least a _year_ , embarking on another international tour. Your movie alone would take God knows how long. Throw in the fact that Amilyn had a penchant for shooting on location everywhere but New York, he wasn’t sure what would happen. 

All Kylo knew was that he wanted to make it work...somehow. At the very least, he had fought tooth and nail with the label to postpone the first show until after your graduation. Anything afterwards though...it was up in the air. 

Sensing Kylo’s mood sour, you placed a soft hand against his thigh and replied on his behalf. “We were going to talk about it tonight. But we’ll make it work. I love this goon too much to not give it my best.” He warmed underneath your smile and slipped his palm into yours. Giving it two squeezes, he returned with a reluctant smile. 

Kylo added, “Yeah. We’re going to figure it out...”

“Together.”

“ _Together_.”

You looked at Kylo with a sheepish grin as you both spoke at the same time. Leaning in, you ignored the collective groaning from your friends as you kissed Kylo deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think that I would ever talk about Wonderwall not once, but twice, in a fic. Yet, here we are. 
> 
> As always, thank you SO much for being here and reading this fic! Your comments and kudos are so appreciated, and make my little heart pitter patter in excitement <3


	18. I Need Backup

“Are you sure that you’re just going on tour and not running away from home?” 

You were perched atop the bed watching Kylo as he attempted a losing battle with the zipper on his suitcase. There were no less than _five_ denim jackets in the damn thing, and while the thought was somewhat sexist, you were surprised that a man could own so many clothes. 

“Shut the fuck up and come sit on this thing,” he groused while kicking the misbehaving luggage.

“It’s not like you don’t always end up shirtless mid-concert, anyways. I just don’t get why you have so much luggage!” Despite teasing your boyfriend, you still hopped off the bed to lope towards him. This was par for the course - Kylo grumbling, you teasing, and the both of you still finding a way to make the other happy. Plopping down on top of the hard case, you stuck your tongue out and giggled as Kylo reached around his bag to grab at the zipper in the back. 

Instead of tugging, he ended up gripping the edges of the suitcase to cage you in. He groaned into your neck, “It’s not just for performances. We do interviews and photoshoots with press from the different countries we perform in.” 

Hm, that made sense. It wasn’t fun when Kylo made sense. 

Pressing a kiss at the tip of his nose, you hopped off at the telltale sign of the zipper finally closing. You couldn’t make a clean getaway though, as Kylo caught your hand and tugging you towards the floor where he was not sitting. Pulling you into his lap, he wrapped his formidable thighs around your hips and pressed his chest against your back. Catching you in a bear-like grip, the man nuzzled against the back of your throat.

“I’ll miss you,” he murmured into the skin beneath your ear. 

You patted his cheek and leaned into his touch. It didn’t seem fair, but then again, when was life ever fair to you? You _should_ be basking in the warm afterglow of finally finding _the one_. Shouldn’t newly in love couples be lazing around their shared home making pancakes together or doing something adult like shopping for furniture together? 

Instead, the two of you were uprooting your barely settled in life to chase your careers elsewhere. Instead of a home scattered with memory filled trinkets, Kylo’s drawers were half-empty as he transferred most of his things to suitcases. You fought an irrational sense of abandonment every time you noticed the bathroom counter was decidedly devoid of your boyfriend’s things. 

The truth was that it only sucked because he was leaving first. You were staying in town to finish up some rehearsals and take a few promotional images with the team. Because you were a virtual nobody, they had to create marketing assets from scratch. 

Amilyn was about to make an official statement releasing the cast for the newest generation of Rogue One. Apparently your Facebook default photos were totally unacceptable to use as a headshot. 

Even though you felt like that picture of you at the nineties costume party was mad cute. You know, the one where you and your best friend went as Luna and Artemis from Sailor Moon? Unfortunately, Cassian wanted you to be taken “seriously” as an actress.

Whatever that meant. 

Kylo suddenly stood, leaving you to tumble out of his lap. You watched in amusement as he darted over to the dresser and dug to the bottom. Turning around, he tossed you something soft wrapped in craft paper. 

“What’s this?” you asked, squeezing around the package in an attempt to figure it out. Kylo gestured for you to open it, and you obliged the man. He watched you rip apart the paper with rapt attention akin to a puppy waiting for a treat. 

A soft black and white baseball jacket slid into your lap, and you squealed while holding it up in front of you. Flipping it over to the back, you gasped in excitement. The top read “Knights of Ren” arched over their logo, while the bottom curved the opposite direction and read your name in custom embroidery. 

He kneeled in front of you and waited in silent anticipation. Tossing your arms around his neck, you pulled him in for a tight hug. “This is amazing, babe. Thank you!” 

His grin split from ear-to-ear. “We had them made for the whole team this tour, and I wanted you to be part of it.” Kylo pointed at the front where the name of the tour and the year was stitched. 

“I’ll wear this all the time. Especially when I’m missing you,” you cheered while slipping on the jacket. It didn’t matter that his whole team had a similar jacket. You were about to become one of _those_ couples that wore matching outfits, and God you were fucking exciting for it. 

Kylo cupped your chin and gave you a gentle kiss. Distracted by the smooth motion of his lips gliding across your own, you didn’t even realize that he had clipped something onto your wrist. It was the feeling of cool metal pressing against your hand that caused you to pull back and look down. 

A delicate bangle made of interwoven wires clung onto your delicate wrist. Kylo grinned and held your hand up. Turning it this way and that, the two of you watched how light reflected off each individual strand. 

“I had this custom made for you. The wires...they’re individual strings from my first guitar. I wanted you to have a piece of me close by while we’re apart. That guitar was the most important thing to me...until now.” 

Were you about to cry? You never pegged yourself as the type to cry over sentiment. But ever since Kylo entered your life, he uprooted everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world you existed in. The man tore you apart and then pieced you back together tighter and stronger than before. 

So yeah, you were going to cry. 

“Baby! Baby, no! What’s wrong?” Kylo panicked as he launched himself into your arms, squeezing you into his chest. You hiccuped into his shirt, not even caring that you were spreading moisture and snot across the cotton. It wasn’t like Kylo would mind either. 

“I...I love you...and...I...I’m going to...miss you,” you sobbed, shoulder violently shaking up and down as Kylo fought to soothe his crying girlfriend. 

“Baby, I’m going to miss you too. I’m going to miss you so fucking much. But we got this, okay? We’ll take turns seeing each other, and I’ll call you every goddamn night no matter what the time difference is, okay? Baby, don’t cry,” Kylo begged. 

“I’m not crying because I’m _sad_. I’m crying because I’m _happy_ ,” you pouted into his chest. Kylo groaned and laughed as he slowly swayed you side-to-side. “You confuse me, woman.” 

“I know, that’s why you love me.” 

He grinned and smattered wet kisses all along your cheeks and forehead. “I do. I really fucking do,” he chuckled.

* * *

Most of your life had been spent existing in the background. An extra of sorts. You were someone who served people waffles, waited behind others in line, or blended into the background of lectures during class. Just another face in a crowd meant to serve as fodder to someone else’s more exciting story. 

For the first time you were scrutinized. Poked and prodded as strangers attempted to mold you into something else. Something better. 

It was uncomfortable, but you tried to not hate it so much. Even as the makeup artist and wardrobe stylist whispered about your hips in hushed tones. It felt like sinking, to be honest. Amilyn insisted that you had some editorial images taken that could be used during promotion, and already you could feel the suffocating constraints of showbiz. 

Amilyn had insisted that she wanted you to be you, _but_ (and it was a rather lengthy but) the whole world was going to judge you based on this single image so...

It was weird to think that the public would label you with a persona. Kylo had reminded you, not unkindly, that this was the life you chose. You were not longer going to be seen as a person. But rather a thing that could be scrutinized, controlled, and manufactured. Property of the populous, so to speak.

You sighed, sinking deeper into the makeup chair while trying to ignore the titers of Josie, or Susie, or whatever the fuck that tiny sprite of a woman was named. She continued to whisper with her cohort, the both of them debating over several outfits that were totally not you. 

It would be easier if Cassian or Amilyn were here. Cassian would make things easier with his jokes and casual nature, while Amilyn would mentor and guide with her firm, yet empathetic, hand. 

This technically wasn’t part of the film though, so neither were here to help you figure out the shoot. You were about to freak as Susie (you were eighty-five percent sure her name was Susie at this point) grabbed a pink chiffon dress off the rack, when the studio door slammed open. 

Like a beacon calling out to your soul on a foggy sea, Jyn sauntered in with two cups of coffee. Big black sunglasses perched on her nose as she glided over to your seat. You looked up at her in shock, but still gratefully took the warm cup into your hands. She folded herself into the empty chair to your right and swiveled around to face you.

The big black frames slid off, and she gave you a smirk. “I heard that you were in need of some assistance. So I’m here to offer you my services as a manager. Don’t worry, I have very reasonable rates, and accept bonuses in the form of tacos and-slash-or donuts.” 

“What? I thought you were working for Poe? Not that I don’t want you here, because thank God you’re here.” She tossed her head back in easy laughter and gave your thigh a gentle pat. 

“Honestly, Kylo called me. He said that you needed help, and more importantly, you needed a friend. That is, if you’ll have me,” Jyn replied with a wink. You jumped up and pulled your best friend in for a bear hug, squealing happily into her shoulder. When she finally pried herself away, Jyn laughed and stood to walk towards the clothing racks. You had never been more grateful for your best friend or your boyfriend. 

Jyn gave the makeup artist and stylist a knowing look and teased, “Why don’t you ladies get started on her makeup while I find an outfit that would suit her...what was it again? _Massive hips?_ ” Jyn flatly stared at the women and then promptly turned away as they shrank underneath her withering glare. 

Your shoulders relaxed as you shot Jyn a thankful look. She merely shrugged and stuck her tongue out. 

It was her way of silently saying, “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> We finally embark on our new career, and face having to say goodbye to Kylo for the time being. There are going to be some ups and downs coming up as we navigate new endeavors and strains on the relationship, but hopefully it'll all be interesting and good :) 
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! Your comments and kudos continue to bring me joy. I'm wishing you all a fabulous start to your week! <3


	19. Enemies and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brief recap: Kylo finally leaves to start his world tour, and you embark on your journey to becoming an actress - starting with some press and PR!

As sad as it was to admit, loneliness had never been a foreign concept to you. It wasn’t like your parents were affectionate people, nor had you many friends until Jyn and the gang came along. For most of life, you assumed that loneliness was just time one spent...alone. Frankly, the concept had never really bothered you. In fact, one could say that you preferred the solitude. 

Sitting up in bed, you tugged the large comforter around your shoulders and let out a shaky sigh. With only a diminutive wedge of moonlight to keep you company, it finally dawned on you that whatever it was that you had experienced prior to Kylo was, in fact, _not_ loneliness. 

Being with Kylo had allowed you to experience a multitude of feelings you had never previously explored. For every ounce of wild rockstar persona he projected out in the world, he matched in unending adoration at home. And now that he was no longer here to dote on you or shower you in his affections, you heart echoed with emptiness. 

_Oh. So_ that’s _loneliness._

Sighing, you flopped onto your back and rubbed salt from your eyes. Blindly reaching out towards the nightstand, you groped around until you brushed the edge of your phone and slid it into your grip. The light automatically lit up as you flipped the device towards your face.

Three in the morning. 

Which meant that it was midnight in Los Angeles, where K.O.REN was kicking off their tour. Earlier in the day, Kylo had texted some behind-the-scenes photos from the STAPLES Center. You were excited for your boyfriend, but still felt a pang of sadness being so far apart from him. 

You wished that you could have been wedged between Hux and Phasma as they hugged each other by the side, arms raised with a shot of tequila in each hand. They were taking their customary preliminary shot of liquid courage before going on stage. Just a little bit to take the edge off, and never more. 

Earlier, Phasma sent you a photo she covertly took from behind her drum kit during sound check. Kylo was in his typical uniform of tight black denim and a white muscle tank. His arms were flexed as he messed around with the mic stand, hair flopped in front of his eyes just the way you liked. It always gave you an excuse to run your fingers through the strands as you pushed his bangs back. 

Finally, you received one last photo that immediately sent your heart rate racing. It wasn’t even overtly sexual. It was just Kylo alone in his changing room before the show started. A quick selfie, blurry around the edges, of him with a goofy grin. He had texted you a quick goodnight, and promised to call the next day. 

Something about the casualness of his message left you feeling soft and fuzzy inside. There was a comfort in your relationship, and you wished you could dive into its folds and nestle within its safety until Kylo came home. 

Scrolling through K.O.REN’s social media feed, you saw that the concert was now long over. Taking a chance, you flipped back to the home screen and dialed Kylo’s number. Two rings later, and you were greeted with a coarse, “Babe? Everything alright?” 

“Yeah! I just...I just wanted to see how it went. Tonight was your first big show, after all.” 

A crackle of static filled the space for a heartbeat before Kylo replied, “It went great! We killed our set! The crew went out for drinks afterwards, but Phas, Hux, and I went back to the hotel. We have an early A.M. interview with Entertainment Weekly.” 

“Oh, yeah. I forgot that it was on the calendar. I hope it goes well!” 

You grinned thinking about your shared iCal. It hosted your schedule along with Kylo’s. Everything was color coded, and precisely set as far out as a year. The idea of sharing a calendar with your boyfriend felt so domestic and adult. Even Kylo found himself checking it just to relish in the idea of having a future with you. 

Kylo cleared his throat and you could almost hear him thinking. Dropping his voice lower he whispered, “I miss you. I know we’ve only been gone for a week, but...fuck. This is probably the hardest tour I’ve done just solely based on the fact that I wish I were home with you.” 

Wetness dotted the corner of your eye. “I miss you too, Kylo. I’ve never been...”

“Apart from someone you loved,” Kylo finished. “I feel the same way. You start preliminary press this week, though. Soon you’ll be too busy to miss me.” 

“I don’t think that’s possible.” You hated how small your voice sounded. 

It didn’t seem to bother Kylo, though. He cooed gentle words of reassurance in your ear before the two of you slowly dozed off together on the line. Falling asleep to the sound of your boyfriend’s languid breaths made the distance feel slightly less. Even if just by a little, it was enough.

* * *

It was official. You were no longer in possession of your body. 

Standing rigidly in the wings of whatever auditorium your gruff and reticent driver had dropped you off at, you focused on controlling your breathing. Because you were pretty sure that you were seconds away from flipping out. 

Even Jyn was nervous as she fussed with your first press outfit. You were about to play a badass rogue agent, and Jyn insisted that you look the part. The memory of her incredulous expression as she swatted away a pink chiffon dress was enough to lighten your mood. The look in Jyn’s eye was hilarious, as if the woman was personally offended by appliqué and beading. 

Instead, she had steered you in the direction of a sleek tuxedo inspired crushed velvet suit. A tiny lace-trimmed slip underneath the jacket paired with razor thin stilettos topped off your look. You almost didn’t recognize your reflection. As someone who believe that Costco was a valid place to shop for clothes (mainly sweatshirts in bulk), this was a huge divergence from your typical comfort based uniform.

It was feminine, daring, and strong. Just like your character. 

_Just like you_ , Jyn had murmured in encouragement as she brushed away a piece of lint from the lapel. A rumble sounded from overhead speakers, and soon a deep male voice began to introduce the movie and cast. You looked out onto the stage, and lined up behind Cassian just after he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

A long table held place cards with everyone’s first and last names neatly printed. Amilyn, an unfamiliar producer, Cassian, yourself, and the male lead you had been briefly introduced to before he was swept away to makeup. 

Looking out onto the stage, you were blinded for a second by blaring lights as the crowd burst into deafening screams. The first three rows were filled with various international press while the rest of the auditorium sat die-hard fans ready to gleam any bit of knowledge they could on the newest Rogue One movie. 

The only information leaked was that Amilyn had cast not one, but two individuals with no acting experience as the leads. Everything else was veiled in speculation and nothing more than a few misplaced rumors. 

Your name was announced over the loudspeaker, and Jyn gave you a friendly shove of encouragement as she pushed you out and onto the stage. Turning to look your best friend in the eye, you gave her shaky smile as she flashed you two thumbs up. With one final gulp of air, you turned to face the world. 

Lifting a hand to wave at the cameras, you plastered on a wide grin despite feeling massive discomfort from the sudden onslaught of flashing lights. The crowd cried and chattered as the newest face of Cassian’s trilogy was finally revealed. Although you only had to cross a few yards in distance, it felt as if you had walked for miles before settling into a seat next to the author. 

Thankfully, your co-star was to be announced next, giving you some time to acclimate yourself to the new environment. Cassian gave your hand a friendly pat underneath the table, and you returned with a quick nod to reassure the man that you weren’t going to pass out.

Yet. 

You heard the name Bodhi Rook being called out, and politely turned to smile at the second star. He, too, seemed nervous as he awkwardly waved at the crowd and all but ran to his seat. Sliding into the last empty chair to your left, he huffed in relief at finally being seated. 

The rest of the event went relatively well. While there had been much curiosity in regards to who was being cast, it seemed that the reporters were more concerned with the actual celebrities on the panel. Most questions were lobbed at Amilyn or Cassian, and you were more than happy to sit back and let the two seasoned vets talk about their work. 

Judging by Bodhi’s shared relief as he practically slumped back in his seat, you figured that the man was a kindred spirit and the both of you would work perfectly together. 

All was well, until one beady eyed journalist took the mic. You weren’t one to judge a book by its cover, but something about her smarmy and sickly smile made your stomach turn. Standing up in her seat, she addressed Bodhi first. 

“Bodhi, right? What was it, again, that you did prior to being cast?” 

The man jolted up in his seat, almost comically surprised that someone was actually talking to him. He quickly cleared his throat. “I was a, uh, truck driver. Ma’am.” 

It was immediately clear that his attempt at politeness greatly offended the reporter. She adjusted her glasses and continued, “ _Just_ a truck driver? And how did you come about the good fortune of being discovered by Amilyn?”

You didn’t like her questions. Not one bit at all. It wasn’t _what_ she was asking. But _how_. Bodhi seemed too nice for his own good as he happily answered, “I was making a delivery and saw a woman being mugged across the street. I just, uh, had to do what was right. So I ran over and did what I could. Turned out the woman was Amilyn.” 

“What a kind way to repay the favor.” 

Bodhi’s brows furrowed, and you felt yourself shifting towards the edge of your seat. Amilyn quickly cut in, “That was how I met Bodhi. But he still had to audition just like any other actor. The man is a natural talent.” 

The reporter waved her hand in the air in a dismissive gesture, and you felt the urge to smack the mic out of her grip. She turned to level you with a sharp look and a slimy grin spread across her lips. 

“And you - Miss, uh, what was it again?” 

Narrowing you eyes at the woman you supplied your first and last name. You knew that you were playing with fire, but it was almost impossible to tamp down years and years of snarky bite. Before she could move onto her question you added, “There are name cards in front of us. I apologize that the text isn’t clear enough. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that older folk have trouble reading small print.” 

Cassian choked on his water next to you and Bodhi snorted. 

The woman’s smirk fell as her teeth ground against each other. Ignoring your statement she pressed on. “Our readers will be interested to learn how two _nobodies_ got their big lucky break in Hollywood. Could you please give us some insight on how someone who has never had to prove herself landed such a large role that other, more seasoned professionals, didn’t have a chance at?” 

Tension crackled between the two of you, and any previous nerves you had suffered suddenly vanished as the woman leveled thinly veiled accusations in your direction. The part of you that got into bar fights with other mouthy individuals suddenly reared its head, and you swore you could feel Jyn slapping a palm against her forehead. Leaning forward onto your elbows, you laced your fingers together and a slow even smile spread across your features. 

Mustering the most pleasant lilt to your voice you replied, “With all due respect, _ma’am_ , I don’t believe that I, nor my co-star, are _nobodies_. To use such language to describe individuals with perfectly respectable jobs would send a dangerous message to our fans. The entire premise behind Rogue One is that _anyone_ can be a hero.” 

You tilted your head to the left in faux innocence as you continued, “I can agree that Bodhi and I are fortunate to have been cast, and that we certainly could be considered “lucky”. But we work damn hard everyday to bring justice to Cassian and Amilyn’s work. So I politely ask the public to please refrain from passing judgement before even giving us a chance.” 

Sitting back with folded arms you shot back a glare of your own. Silence permeated the room before the crowd erupted into loud cheers. Clearly sensing her moment was over, the reporter slinked back into her seat, but not before casting you the dirtiest look you had ever received. 

Cassian clapped you on the shoulder as Bodhi whooped and high-fived you. Although you refused to allow the woman to shake you, part of you felt like this was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, long time now see, huh?! 
> 
> Thank you all SO much for your patience, and especially those who reached out to check in with me. It seriously surprised me (in the best way possible) to know that there are people out there who are genuinely diggin' what I'm up to. So thank you for encouraging me to continue pursuing this fic. Your comments truly do matter to me, and they affect my work immensely <3
> 
> I haven't written out any more chapters for this fic, but I have some semblance of an idea of how I want things to work out. I'm definitely not giving up on Misguided Youth, and I PROMISE you'll see an update to this guy. Hopefully soon <3 
> 
> Love ya!


	20. The Big League

“Just spit it out,” you sighed into the camera. Padding around the kitchen barefoot, you attempted to stir pasta sauce while holding up your phone with a free hand. Ever since your relationship had taken a turn for long distance, you found out that you could be rather talented at performing daily tasks one handed. 

Any spare time between yourself and Kylo meant it was spent over video chat. In any other given situation it may have seemed clingy, but the truth was that very little free time could be found between a budding actress and an international rock star. 

Phone call coming in while cleaning the house? Time to vacuum single handed. 

Taking a jog around Prospect Park? Good thing you don’t need hands to run in circles. 

Feeling a little frisky? Well...

You smirked at the memory of your first attempt at sex over Facetime. Sure, it was blurry and a little rushed between meetings and Kylo’s next interview, but the image of Kylo kneeling in front of the camera was seared into your mind. 

The man was too tall to fit into the screen, but the cropped version of his chiseled body was still enough to leave you salivating. Especially with a hand between his well-muscled thighs stroking himself to completion at the reciprocated image of your legs spread over the sheets. You had cum together panting and moaning, and while it would never be as satisfying as the real deal, it was good enough. 

Shaking the thought away before you got yourself into trouble, you turned your attention from the stove and back to the phone in your hand. Fumbling with a little tripod you had bought for moments like this, the device snapped into place and stood upright on the counter so you could return to cooking. 

“Firstly, your outfit was fuckin’ stunning. Jyn did a good job,” Kylo’s gravely voice crackled from the phone. He continued, “Second...that - uh - confrontation...” 

“I know, _I know_. I was being too _me_ ,” you sighed. Fanning away steam rising from the pot of boiling water you were hovering over, you huffed in annoyance. After exiting off stage, you were immediately cornered by the press manager for the entire Rogue One team. According to her, you weren’t wrong, per se. Just not very diplomatic. 

And diplomacy was important in Hollywood. Especially when it came to reporters who controlled the most widely read entertainment column in the nation. 

Reporters like Bazine Netal, who you had very publicly called out.

Kylo quickly cut in, “Listen, I love you. You know that. And I wouldn’t be dumb enough to try and make a perfect specimen change for anyone...” 

You rolled your eyes at Kylo’s attempt at flattery, and waved a hand in the air for him to get to it. Taking the hint, Kylo sighed, “She’s evil, okay? The woman will drum up the wildest shit from nothing, and is famous for shamelessly finding delight in destroying careers. You just got started, babe. I don’t want anything, or anyone, hurting you.” 

“I guess you have a point. I’ll be on my best behavior. Cross my heart!” 

Satisfied that his lady was somewhat reeled in, Kylo moved on to chattering about more enjoyable topics. Los Angeles had been a hit, with Billboard already touting the Knights of Ren tour as a once in a lifetime event. Meanwhile, day one of filming Rogue One was about to begin, and Kylo worked at easing any nerves threatening to make themselves known.

Thankfully, Amilyn decided to gently introduce yourself and Bodhi into your roles by starting to film on a lot. That way you wouldn’t have to brave any possible external stresses, and could prepare in the comfort of an indoor location. 

Even the first scene was relatively “easy”. It was a straightforward shot of yourself and Bodhi at Rogue One headquarters planning the next mission. Cassian had popped over to check everything out the night before and texted you some photos of the set. The entire space was surreal. It looked exactly like the interior of a secret spy agency. Nobody could have ever guessed that they built the whole thing in Queens. 

Knowing that Kylo had an early morning flight for Iceland, you slowly brought the conversation to a close. You cringed on behalf of your boyfriend, already pitying him for the inevitable jet lag he’d have to suffer while simultaneously screaming into a mic. Apparently they were meant to have started from Western Europe anyways, but had to make a pit stop in Los Angeles since most of their relevant press outlets were situated there. At least they’d get to bang out the boring stuff first so they could focus on the music.

Kylo made kissy faces at the camera, and you puckered your lips right back in response. It was the one sickeningly sweet and over-the-top thing you allowed yourselves. Kylo Ren may be bad boy metal singer extraordinaire to the world, but the man was all croons, kisses, and putty when it came to his girlfriend. 

Signing off, you leaned against the kitchen island and giggled in happiness.

* * *

The 7 train rumbled along aged tracks as you peered out a foggy window. One of the unsung benefits of coming out to Queens was the fact that the subway was elevated here. Staring out at the skyline, you caught sight of a burst of light as the sun rose over the sleepy city. An explosion of cherry reds and fireball oranges flashed between buildings as you churned onwards.

Was this your movie moment? The one big life-changing moment summed up in a single frame?

You placed a palm against the glass and pressed closer. The train jolted as it swung along a curve, and you audibly gasped at the next sight. “Silvercup Studios” was elevated in the air, rays of early morning light peeking in between the letters. This was it. You were all in.

The car breaks squealed as the train slowed to a stop, and you excitedly clambered down to street level. It was impossible to miss the studio, and the entrance was quickly found. From there, everything seemed to move at breakneck speed. 

Jyn was already waiting at reception, and immediately pushed you towards makeup where you were shoved into a seat for the next two hours. While the team was perfectly pleasant, nothing could ever ease the discomfort of having strangers poke and prod at your face. Even Jyn seemed tense as she took advantage of your sedentary time to rattle off the week’s schedule. 

Now that your face was very publicly associated with the movie, your responsibilities and engagements sky-rocketed overnight. Designers insisted on having you in their clothes, meaning that fittings and special one-of-a-kind looks were already being scheduled and designed for the upcoming press and awards circuit. Press was clamoring to have you grace their glossy covers, and editors sent Jyn inquiries regarding _everything_ about you.

Suddenly the world was obsessed. 

What do you eat? Where did you buy those jeans you wore at the bodega on 23rd? Where did you go to elementary school? What was Kylo’s favorite position in bed with you? Jyn even tossed out an inquiry regarding what type of _deodorant_ you used.

Throw in the fact that the press had dubbed you “the actress of the people”, even those who had never been interested in Rogue One had their interest piqued. Over the course of a week, the story of how you stood up for yourself and your cast mate circled the news, creating a story of the down-to-earth actress with a spitfire personality and unwavering loyalty. 

Who would have thought that you’d be praised for the loud mouth that once got you thrown out of Girl Scouts? 

The makeup artist huffed in irritation as your stressful internal dialogue caused you to grimace. Apparently making dramatic facial gestures was creasing your makeup...whatever the hell that meant. Just as you were about to melt down from a combination of nerves and excitement, your phone buzzed. 

_Kylo | 8:32 AM | Break a leg today! I’m so proud of you._

And that was all it took for you to settle back into a state of calm. Thankfully, you managed to maintain a rather placid demeanor for the remaining time in wardrobe before you were thrust onto set alongside Bodhi. 

When confronted with a life changing moment or big event, you had always thought that it was rather dramatic that people “forgot everything” because they were so overwhelmed with all of the hubbub. After all, how does one forget the birth of their child? Or accepting a major award? Or even a marriage proposal? 

Well, apparently they had a point. Because it seemed as if one moment you were screaming vitriol at Bodhi as you packed several handguns onto your person, and the next it was Amilyn who was screaming as she called “cut” for the final time that day. 

Your eyes blinked in owlish surprise as you surveyed various crew members scrambling around to take down lighting and move pieces of the set around. Bodhi stood rooted next to you for a moment before turning to shakily breathe, “Tell me you’re just as shell-shocked as I am.” 

Nodding in response, you jolted in surprise as someone draped an arm around your shoulder. You turned to face a happy Amilyn as she chuckled, “I don’t care if you guys don’t remember a single second of filming. As long as you keep delivering your lines like you did today, I promise that we’ll have a blockbuster on our hands. Welcome to the big leagues.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A peek into their long distance relationship this chapter, but have no fear. They'll be reunited soon! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated and encouraging :) Please let me know what you think of this chapter! <3


	21. Pancakes

It was impossible to put Jyn’s importance into words. Within the span of a few short weeks, it became unarguably clear that she was the glue holding your life and career together. From making sure that your trailer was stocked with oat milk, to booking your first late night talk show appearance, she was on it. Not a single detail slipped by the woman, and you would be forever grateful and indebted to her watchful eye.

Except when she was trying to squeeze you into the tiniest Tom Ford dress that ever existed.

Groaning while attempting to pull the slinky fabric over your hips, you whined, “I don’t understand why you’re making me wear this, Jyn. I look like a club rat.”

“First off, you are going to a club. That’s where Cassian’s hosting his birthday party. Secondly, we’ve been through this already. We need to continue perpetuating the idea that you’re a suave and badass mofo to the public. And it just so happens that Mr. Ford, who is famous for dressing sexy women, wants to sponsor your wardrobe this season. All you need to do is pose around at the entrance and then we’re done with obligations tonight. Got it?” Jyn huffed as she slapped pasties over nipples before yanking the dress upwards.

“Did you just say ‘mofo’?”

Jyn shot you a withering glare before zipping up. Not that there was much to zip. The entire thing was backless, and edged dangerously close to your bum. Stepping back to place both hands firmly on your shoulders, she sighed. “I know things are different now that you’re all serious and whatnot with Kylo. But even he has to make publicity appearances. It’s just part of the job.”

“But do I have to do it prancing around Chelsea with half of my ass hanging out?”

Jyn laughed and slapped your bum before pushing you towards her vanity to start with makeup. She fussed with a few brushes before laughing, “It’s designer, girl. It’s acceptable because the label says ‘Tom Ford’ and it costs over eight grand. Not settle down so I can make you look like the vixen you are.” 

Jyn wasn’t joking when she said that there would be photographers. The moment your well-heeled foot stepped out of the car service, paparazzi flew into a frenzy trying to get a shot of you entering the club. Even with four bouncers pushing away the press, it was still overwhelming with the amount of people screaming your name while lights flashed in your eyes.

This was totally foreign. Usually club hopping started with waiting in a stupidly long line and ended with stumbling onto a subway car somewhere Midtown.

Instead, you fumbled your way through a few practiced poses, making sure to show off all angles of your killer dress. Popping your hips this way and that, you flashed a few sultry looks before Jyn hooked her arm around yours and pulled you into the club.

Entering the establishment wasn’t much better. Although you had arrived under the premise of celebrating Cassian’s birthday, it felt like you had been tricked into a networking event. If you weren’t being stopped by an overeager fan for photos, then you were pushed towards someone you just had to meet.

By the time you were introduced to the forth or fifth network executive at this station or that, you were ready to tug at the delicate skin underneath your eyes in exasperation. Just as you were about to down half a pitcher of overpriced foreign beer just to feel something other than social exhaustion, Cassian showed up with three shot glasses.

Giggling at the overly expressive man, you were glad to see that at least one person was properly celebrating tonight. Cheering together, the three of your slung back your shots of whiskey.

It seemed that whatever work obligations you had were finally taken care of, and the night quickly devolved into a jovial atmosphere with lots of drinking, and far more laughter. The night whizzed by in a blink of an eye, and soon you were stumbling out onto the cool and quiet pavement outside the club.

Cassian was already past the word “drunk” as he pushed himself between yourself and Jyn. Throwing his arms around your shoulders he slurred, “You guys are the best. Best friends are the best. Bestest best of the best. I’m so happy to be working with you guys. Because you’re the best.”

Laughing at his sudden sentimental demeanor, you helped Jyn prop himself up between yourselves as he swayed from side-to-side. You were about to help Cassian into the waiting black town car when Jyn suddenly yelped, “Shit! I left my coat inside. Give me a sec!”

Unloading Cassian’s weight onto you, she flashed you an apologetic look before dashing back inside. Everything was fine until Cassian began to slowly black out. The man’s muscles relaxed underneath your grip as he began to slide down towards the ground.

“Ah, shit,” you muttered underneath your breath as you struggled to right his tilting body. He turned towards your chest as you grabbed him underneath the pits. He was just about standing when he decided now was time to become something akin to a limp noodle. The sudden weight caught you by surprise, causing you to step backwards towards the car.

Your back thumped against the door as Cassian’s head lulled forward to lean against your shoulder. “Oops,” he muttered into your neck as he tried to push himself back up. His hands left sweaty prints against the window as he struggled to remain upright.

Jyn returned just in time as she laughed, “Oh my God, he’s such a mess!” Tugging him off your chest, the two of you finally tossed him into the back after a few minutes of struggle. Slamming the door shut, Jyn rolled her eyes waved the driver away as they pulled away from the curb.

Placing both fists on her hips, Jyn turned towards you. “Pancakes and then sleep?”

Flashing her a wide smile you replied, “Pancakes and sleep it is.” 

* * *

“No way. He just became dead weight?” Kylo laughed, totally imagining Cassian flopping around the side of his town car. Kylo had done his fair share of touring, so the man certainly knew a thing or two about people imbibing too much. In fact, he’d been victim to a good time more than once himself.

You giggled and nodded while running a cotton pad damp with makeup remover across your cheeks. In the days of your youth, you’d typically crash straight into bed after a night out like tonight. But dating Kylo caused a few things to shift in your life. Instead of drunkenly stumbling home after going too hard on whiskey cokes, you actually ended the night quite sober. And the early morning hour made it a convenient time to give Kylo a call, despite being dead tired. Thankfully, you had the day off so you didn’t mind sacrificing a few minutes of sleep to catch up with the boyfriend.

“And then what happened?” Kylo asked. You smiled into the camera as you watched him shift around in bed, getting comfortable for the story.

Jyn and yourself ended up grabbing pancakes at the neighborhood diner, completely unaffected by the fact that you were still dolled up in a ridiculous getup. It was actually a nice break and breath of fresh air from the hubbub that was newfound celebrity life. Despite spending almost every waking moment with Jyn, you hadn’t actually had much time to enjoy being friends instead of coworkers.

So, tucking into several plates of pancakes, hash browns, and other breakfast favorites, the two of you finally caught a moment to unwind and regroup as besties. Jyn sipped on black coffee and hollered in amusement as you recounted the one time Hux accidentally walked into a particularly steamy Facetime session between yourself and Kylo. You couldn’t tell who turned redder - Hux or Kylo.

“God, I can’t believe you told her about that,” Kylo huffed. It was bad enough having to awkwardly avoid eye contact with Hux for an entire dress rehearsal. It’s kind of hard not being able to look at your bandmate when you relied on visual cues for timing. In fact, the both of them kept running off beat so much that Phasma caught on, and Kylo was forced to recount the entire story to the woman.

He could still hear the blonde’s cackle as she proceeded to tell their tour manager, any available arena staff, and their marketing intern to knock twice before entering Kylo’s green room.

“She’s my best friend! Besides, it wasn’t that bad. I’m pretty sure that Hux saw more of you than me,” you teased, now moving onto patting serum into your neck. Kylo grumbled, but decided to drop the subject. He was done talking about Hux during one of the rare chances he had alone with his girl. 

He sat up and pushed his bangs out of the way. Holding the phone up to eye level, he couldn’t help but softly smile at the sight of you massaging lotion underneath your eyes. Something about being let into your nighttime routine felt so intimate to the man, and he loved being able to peek into these little parts of your life. 

Sure, it wasn’t convenient to be together through Facetime, but at least it gave him a deep insight into your life. After all, your relationship currently survived off of taking advantage of any small moment of time you could steal. That meant chatting while running errands, in between takes, or even something seemingly dull like during your nighttime routine. 

“Hey, we’re still on for next week, right?” You asked, finally giving Kylo your full attention. His eyes lit up in excitement as his plush lips split open in a wide grin. “Hell, yeah. I’ve booked everything already. You just gotta show up, babe,” he replied, practically buzzing with energy. 

Filming on the lot was just about wrapped up, meaning that Amilyn was ready to move to shooting on location. Moving an entire production to another city was going to take time and preparation, meaning that you got a week off while the team prepped for travel. 

Kylo was still on tour, so it made logical sense to go to him. When you brought up the idea of visiting, he almost combusted right in his seat. “Excitement” didn’t even begin to cover how the rockstar felt, and he almost forgot you were on the phone as he immediately barked instructions to his personal assistant. 

He was going to spoil the shit out of you. 

“Is it silly to say I’m nervous?” you timidly asked. You were now shuffling towards bed while quietly shutting off the lights behind. Kylo cast you a look of complete devotion and murmured, “No, you’re not silly. But you don’t have to be. You’re going to love Germany. I’ll be at the airport, and I swear I won’t leave your side. Now get some rest, babe.” 

You blew air kisses into the phone, and Kylo chuckled while blowing them right back. Just like that, your nerves settled as you fell asleep to sound of Kylo quietly singing into the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, folks! We'll _finally_ be reunited with Kylo next chapter! Coming up, some much needed Kylo time. 
> 
> As for the "on location" filming, any ideas or hopes? I'm still open and thinking about where to take the cast next! 
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read! <3


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